Fate Route Alter
by Humida
Summary: an alternate route where shirou summons the dark saber alter. A woman who sets all shirou's preconceived notions on edge, will he survive the grail war and more importantly, will he survive his "servant" herself? shirouxalter pairing
1. Chapter 1 - woman of darkness

The lance had lodged its head into his chest, snapping bone and spilling blood from his insides, tearing his flesh. It had gone right through his heart, taking out a nice triangular chunk from his body and yet... somehow... he'd revived, only to see the man clad in tight blues come at him again.

Unlike last time, he'd tried to fight, to hold his own against the being. Not that it did much good. The man in tights wasn't only at an advantage in strength, but was far faster in speed too. So fast was he, all his movements looked more like a blur to the youth than anything he could perceive. Shirou just couldn't keep up. Each blow, each fake out, despite all his years of training in kendo, were nothing to this being who snickered as he looked down on him, making him angrier. But rather than do any good, all his anger did was land him a boot to his ribs, aggravating his previous injury and sending him through the glass door of his sleeping quarters.

No. Fighting is not an option, he thinks, as he hits the hard floor, nearly knocking the breath out of him. He has to run, even if the man is faster, he has to try. He isn't going to die here, without being able to help anyone in return after the promise he'd made everyone, including his father.

He can still see the old man's face as he'd promised foolishly that he'd become the hero the man was unable to become in his own life. The genuine smile that had come upon his features, and the light flush that had flared on his cheeks as he'd rubbed Shirou's head had ground the promise into Shirou's core. He needs to keep that promise, but with this blue man in the way, how can he do that?

He can only imagine how his father would look at him, staring down at him sadly, thinking on how Shirou had managed to find himself at the end of some stranger's spear and die before doing anything of worth in his life.

How pathetic.

No!

He can't die this way! He won't! He'll get away and make it out to another day until he can fulfill that promise he's made. He has to!

Unfortunately, the man in blue doesn't seem to share his sentiments, giving his spine a grinding kick from behind that hurts so badly he barely notices when his body gets thrown through the shed, face slamming into the dirt as his body rolls with the impact.

His breathing has become so hard, a hundred places in his body screaming in agony, that he can barely lift his head, and still, that man comes in, holding that long heavy spear at his shoulder as if it were no more than a paperweight, smiling at him in what he is sure is an ice melting smile.

"Sorry, kid," the man says. "It's nothing personal. The master just said we can't have any witnesses around, and that means you," he says, twirling the spear from his shoulder and pointing the deadly edged blade at the end at Shirou's face. An end he has become far too intimate with in just an hour past. He swallows, staring at the menacing obect with wide eyes as he tries to back away on his hands, keeping an eye on the thing that might as well be a viper swaying before him, waiting to strike.

"Your bad luck it seems," says the man in blue. "If it's any consolation, based on what you did back there, you might've been the seventh master. So this would have happened anyways."

This bastard, he thinks, what does he know!? He'll become a hero of justice, even if it kills him!

That's when his palm hits the floor behind him, his body flaring up as the magic circuits inside him burn rapidly, an energy sparking within a storm, exploding mere inches from his face, a shadow coalacing and taking shape, lunging at the man with a thunderous blow before following it with a second swing that smashes the man through the side of the shed, away from Shirou.

He'd think it a godsend, if not for the aura that comes off the new being in waves. A thick choking wave of hatred and despair, threatening to drown him as it engulfs his presence. Even without its face turned towards him, he is shivering uncontrollably, teeth clattering in his mouth. This seems to draw the figure's attention, they turning slowly towards his direction. It is a being masked in a dark visor with a red slit, pale purple lips set in a frown as a gigantic blade with red sigils drags across the floor, the clanking of the warrior's armor making his heart thunder inside his chest as they take one ominous step towards him after another.

Everything inside him is screaming, this person is dangerous! Run! But his limbs are stiff, though they shake uncontrollably, his face paling several shades as the figure comes before the moon, blocking its light, a dark mist swirling around her, making the red of her visor seem to glow all the more, marking him with its dark intent.

"Her!" his mind screams, trying to latch onto something to save his sanity and give his muscles reason to move. It's a woman so he can run and escape! Certainly she is no more dangerous than a schoolgirl? That's what he tries to tell his mind, but staring at the woman in that dark armor, that sword held so tightly in her right hand that he can hear her hand squeezing, all he can do is stare and pray to the gods above for a quick end, for this woman is death incarnate.

"You!" she says, pointing the end of her blade at his throat, lifting it slightly to lift his chin to face her. "Are you the one who summoned me?"

"I... I..." he stutters, unsure of what to say with that blade before him. There is rustling behind the being and she turns away.

"Stay," she commands and Shirou can do no more than nod.

The woman suddenly leaps forward, boots seeming to fly into the air as she shoots towards the doorway, her blade coming down on screeching metal, the earth booming with the ferocity of the attack. Shirou daren't move to look at what happens, as blow upon blow rains down outside. His knees shiver, as the earth seems to tremble and he wonders if he should make his way out, when he hears the unmistakable cry of the blue man's voice, sounding shrill as if in surprise. There is the sickening crunch of flesh and bone before something falls to the floor with a thud.

. , his mind continues to whisper in his head, mumbling repeatedly as the dark figure walks towards him, her presence once more darkening the sliver of light as she makes her way inside, her blade stained crimson, dripping wet blood onto the floor.

As she makes her way towards him, he finds his voice once more.

"St-stay..."

Her blade finds its way to his throat, pushing against his neck, cutting off sound from his body.

"So," she says in an almost bored voice. "This is what the fates have deemed worthy to be my master. How pitiful."

The blade is pulled back from his neck, but he hardly breathes or dares move, the figure of impending doom just before him keeping him at bay.

"I am servant Saber," she says in an almost robotic voice. "From now until this war comes to its conclusion, my blade serves you."

Shirou swallows, feeling his bladder release, unable to move, staring up at the woman who stares back unflinching at him. His servant... Saber.


	2. Chapter 2 - archer's memories

The grail, thinks Saber, her arms heavy with the weight of her sword and the most recent loss of Lancelot weighing down on her. But it is before her, the grail, only a few feet away from her, tempting her. The wish for her people, for Camelot to be saved from the burden of her failures, just out of her reach. A few more steps and it will be hers and this nightmare will all be finished.

Saber regards it, looking towards the golden chalice, overflowing with red. After all the burdens and miseries she has gone through and the many betrayals and deceptions from her foul master, now she may obtain the completion of her desires. An end to misery and the prevention of death. That is her wish, to never have drawn the sword of justice so that it may have been bestowed upon one who could truly bring greatness to Camelot and not such a charlatan as herself. Her people deserve that.

Only one thing stands before her. One final obstacle. She turns her head to the right, regarding him where he stands on the balcony floor, the portals to his many treasured blades opening as swords slip through, intent on piercing her flesh and stopping her from her quest. She tightens her grip on her blade, looking angrily towards that man who would hinder her.

Gilgamesh, the king of heroes, with arms crossed, smiling down at her as if he were her superior instead of her equal, grinning like some wild dog looking down at a bone. She readies her blade, ready to do battle with the fool. She will show him that her desires will not be beaten down by such a selfish wretch as he. She...

"Saber!" she hears an all too familiar voice she wishes would just be snuffed out. After his betrayals with lancer, he is the last person she wishes to see. Her master, Kiritsugu.

She turns to regard the man, still dressed in his formal attire as if he were to go to a dinner instead of do battle, his hair a mess as if he'd just awoken, but his gaze made of steel, set on her. He comes down the stairs of the theatre, his face somber and hard as always. She sighs, however she may dislike him, he has succeeded in bringing her to the grail, their united goal only a few feet away.

"Kiritsugu," she begins, her voice choked with emotion. "The grail is..."

"Saber!" he interrupts, "I command you to destroy the grail!"

"What!?" she shrieks, her body turning of its own accord, her arms raising without her will. She tries to fight it, to push back with her will against her arms which betray her as she screams, tears flowing from her eyes. Why? She thinks. Why is he doing this? Isn't this why they'd both been fighting this wretched war and why he betrayed so many? So why? Her mind can not comprehend and her mouth pleads uselessly.

"No! Kiritsugu! Stop! I'm begging you! Stop this!"

Even though it is pointless, her lips continue to blubber in protest, hoping there is a counter to what this foul man has commanded. Hoping that this is just a nightmare, but even as she thinks this, she feels her arms raised, energy flowing into her holy sword, powering it with mystical energies, energies directed towards the grail.

Even as she cries in denial, her arms lunge forward, the energy from her blade exploding, ripping through the golden chalice, splitting it cleanly in two. The chalice floats in the air briefly, she staring at her hopes and dreams being destroyed before her. That final sight as the halves split, the left falling a centimeter lower than the other, coincides with the splitting of her heart. The grail itself glows with an incredible brightness, shifting between a brilliant white to an all consuming black before it explodes outwards.

That darkness she'd seen only briefly washes over her in the blast, licking and covering her flesh, filling her lungs, mouth and nostrils, burning her eyes with a scalding ash. She falls back against the poisonous feeling, wanting to expel the noxious flavor as the venom filters through every crevice of her body, stiffening flesh and bone as the sharp poison of despair rushes through her being.

She is only barely able to turn her head to the left to regard her master, his face already shrouded in a mist of consuming darkness as her being fades, body in too much agony to do anything but give in, waiting for the end.

"Master..." she whispers, coughing blood and a thick sludge from her lips. No, she thinks, staring at the man who is already turning away from her, having thrown her life away along with the lives of all those in the war as if they were so much refuse he can abandon. No, he is not meriting of such a title.

"Kiritsugu..." she murmurs, "you bastard..."

Her eyes close, burning too much to hold out against the pain any longer as her arm falls limply to her side. She'd failed. Camelot's redemption forever out of her reach. What a failure of a king she truly is...

* * *

He'd watched, watched as despite his own protest, his little master pulled out a precious locket to use on "him," blaming herself for his having been caught up in the middle of the grail wars that he had no part of. Archer had watched on, grimacing.

Despite pushing Lancer to the brink, using excalibur morgan with the utmost of his skill, it seemed the act had been insufficient and he'd been shrugged off, again and again, excalibur morgan breaking not once, but trice in his battle with the spear wielder. It had pissed him off, to see that sword of memory broken so and each time he'd try to project the sword, stronger... better, reinforce it so it could with stand Lancer's attacks and still it would crack and break.

He sighs. She would berate him for this, telling him he needed a better grasp of the magical blade and a better grasp of his own skills and fighting prowess. Even now, he thought, he was still a failure. He'd stared down at his hands, seeing them tremble, memories of blood and fear marring them. He deserved to die... he...

"Archer, are you alright?" Rin had said. He'd turned to stare at his master, a being he'd once known a life time ago before his failures had compacted one upon the other, gathering weight and substance. He'd looked on her and shaken his head.

"No," he'd said, crossing his arms, "I'm alright."

He'd stared at the boy across the hall, in a puddle of his own blood and his eyes had narrowed. He deserved it, that boy, he deserved to die for his failures.

"It's just old memories."

"Then should we get going?" Rin had said. He'd always pondered how her emotions could change from one second to the next without the merest warning. He'd taken one more look at the body across the way, already stirring on the floor and nodded.

"Yes, we should be on our way before he awakens."

* * *

She awakens from that blackness, that choking feeling, called from the pit by the same call that had pulled her from the illusive light initially. Part of her hopes that being called away she may belch forth this darkness that has been consuming her, leave it behind and go back to the naivete that she once had, with no memory of that horrid past, but even as her flesh reforms, the magic circuits filling her body, she still feels that filth pulsing through her body, weighing her down, making everything heavy.

It is still there. The memories... the failure.. And the weight of whatever substance washed over her, covering her in its taint. It grates at her so, feeling this.. Filth inside that she swings her blade at the nearest source of mana before her, enraged at the feeling inside her. She only barely registers the being before her before lunging at him, swinging her blade at him repeatedly until he flies out of the room from her attack.

She regards the being cowering in the corner, his red hair giving him away, the moon shining on his pale flesh as she looks over his bright eyes which quiver at the sight of her. She turns towards him, drawing her blade, feeling the pull from his body, spotting the command seals on his hand as he tries to back away.

"You," she growls, her emotions rolling inside her as she glares at the pathetic being before her. "Stay here."

She'll deal with the situation after she's vented some of her frustrations. She turns, leaping out from the small store room, blade raised over her head, slamming it down on the lancer before her.

"Geez," says the man, drawing back, pulling his spear before him. "Can't you give a guy..."

She slams her blade into his lance as he raises it just in time to block, her blow sending him back several feet.

"What..." says the man as she continues to reign a barrage of attacks down upon his body. She glares at the man, her lips pressed in a thin line as she attacks. He is not a man, she thinks, he is merely an obstacle. Something in the way for her quest of the holy grail. Nothing more. Destroy it.

"Hey.." says the man, trying to make distance from her as he leaps back, only for her to close that distance, keeping him within range of her attacks, as her blade swings at his body, trying to cleave his head from his shoulders. He is quick enough to block, but does not have the range to do more. She is far enough to strike with her blade, but too close for the lancer to properly strike with his weapon. She keeps it this way. He is just an obstacle, after all. One that will be soon removed.

"Wait..." he mumbles, lance raised to protect his face, giving her an opening at his side. Her blade slashes, tearing open his side, his hand going instinctively to cover the wound, keep his insides within, as her blade slashes, knocking his lance aside.

"Shit..." he whispers, his knees buckling as he finds himself disarmed. "You're a monster."

He stares up at her, a soft grin on his face, but eyes quivering, looking upon her with fear. She is not used to this expression they give her, as her previous masters have only been surprised at her gender, but never fearful. The same with her rivals, even considering her beneath them because of her gender. She grunts. That will be no more. She will never be looked upon as less because of who she is. She'll make certain of it.

She raises her blade and brings it down, the lancer shutting his eyes in acceptance of his fate. Her blade meets flesh, cleaving it in two as metal rips through bone and tendon as if it were no more than old wood, splattering her dark armor with its vibrant color. The man falls away from her, hitting the floor with a thud. She stares at his vacant eyes without any passion or feeling, simply feeling... empty. It matters not, she thinks, turning away to return to her master. He is merely one more obstacle that was in front of the grail that is now removed. That is all there is to it. Nothing more.

* * *

His grip tightens on Rin's arms and legs, memories flitting across his psyche. Though he hides his identity from her to keep her from being aware of who he truly is, his memory is still intact and with it, all the regrets of the past and knowledge of how this war will progress.

He feels that he should allow his old self to die for his failures here in this time, but...

He glances down at Rin who stares up at him, eyes wide and innocent of guile. Trusting in him for protection and guidance, though she's hard pressed to admit it, but he knows it to be so. And though he wishes otherwise, time must repeat itself so he can protect this one in his arms right now.

He sighs. If his old self dies, then his new self will disappear, altering history, changing who Rin's servant is and possibly endangering her life... possibly killing her. No. Even if the events repeat themselves, he won't endanger her in such a way by selfishly allowing his younger self to die prematurely like this.

"Rin," he says, "even though we saved that man right now, Lancer's master probably won't let this go and once he realizes that kid is still alive, he'll send Lancer back to kill him."

The girl's eyes widen as the truth of his words sinks in.

"You're right, Archer!" she says. "Turn around. We better make sure that fool is safe."

"Very well," says Archer.

He sighs, pushing back his emotions. He's going back and he knows what that will mean... he is going to see her again, after so many years, he will see her again and all the pain and regret will come crashing back down on him in full force when he sees her. Saber.

* * *

She looks down at the boy, her "master," and sneers, disgusted at his weakness. The boy has even managed to wet himself, the pungent odor wafting through his denim jeans. The scent mixed with his sweat is truly repulsive. She wrinkles her nose, eying him with a glare.

She aims her sword at him, making him flinch. How very weak. It is an embarrassment, but she feels she has no choice but to serve this knave until the end of the war, however it is he wishes to use her. Though she is uncertain how long she can stand such a thing with such a pathetic master at her side. Still...

"Go clean yourself... Master."

The word feels so very distasteful on her lips. A disgusting thing. How can such a being be a master? He...

Something pulls at her senses, the strong presence of mana alerting her to another being coming near. She glowers and turns away, heading towards the direction of her target.

"Uh... w-wait," says the young man.

"What?" she says, regarding him coldly.

"Wh-where are you going?" he says, his voice shaking, eyes still wide as he lifts an arm towards her. She turns slightly and he pulls back suddenly, gritting his teeth in fear. How pathetic.

"Out," she says. "There is another servant nearby. I will deal with them."

"You mean you're going to kill them?" he says, his voice suddenly firm.

She considers him. He is still shaking, quivering before her but those eyes, they burn with something more than what his body expresses. Something more... durable. She shakes her head and turns away.

"That is a servant's duty. I will get to it then."

"Wait!" she hears him call but disappears, leaping over the roofs of the buildings, drawing her blade close. The quicker she dispatches the other servants and masters the sooner this war will come to an end and she can be done with this wretchedness. After all, that is all she desires now. An end.

* * *

He draws near his old residence, excalibur morgan drawn at his side, feet beating the floor as he covers the distance in a blur of motion, Rin at his heels. The servant in tight blue should still be near his old shed, but.. he thinks, aside from that initial injury that nearly cost him his life, he doesn't remember much about the warrior clad in blue. He wonders why that is?

Archer squints his eyes trying to think of why it is that more memories of the man clad in blue don't come to mind. How is it that such a warrior could be erased from memory so easily? As if he were killed early on in the war...

His eyes widen in shock as the fog in his mind finally clears, only to see a blur of dark metal come at him from the shadows, her blade coming down across his torso, splitting flesh and bone open in one strike. He hears Rin cry his name even as the blood showers his vision before him, splattering the pristine armor of the dark figure before him with his blood.

Damn it, he thinks, falling to his knees on the hard floor. Before him stands the answer to why the man in blue had disappeared from memory. He's dead already. Killed by her. Altria.

And now, as he stares up into her cold pale eyes, her hands stiffening on the hilt of her blade as she raises her weapon above her head, his heart races as he wonders if Altria will take his own life as well...


	3. Chapter 3 - meaning of war

The blade cuts through his flesh, sinking deep, splitting bone and tendon, but even as the warrior falls to his knees, his strength waning, Saber can see he will not perish from such a blow. The warrior in red looks upon her with determined eyes, grimacing, even as his master calls to him. A small thing dressed in red like her servant, shrieking like a mewling babe. Pathetic. The masters of this age are truly no great thing, she thinks.

She raises her blade, intent on finishing with this servant and deal with his master just as quickly. As she is to deliver the killing blow, she notices the blade that has shattered, still held within the servant's grip. Recognizing the weapon, she steps back, lowering her blade in surprise.

"Excalibur... morgan?! What do you with that blade?" she screams, the emotions she thought so long dead coming to the surface as her anger flares.

The man in red smiles, a smirk crossing his features as he stares back at her.

"Don't you recognize me, Saber? You should know me."

"What foulness.." she hisses, raising her blade over her head. "I'll be done with your lies, fool servant!"

"Saber!" a voice she recognizes, calls from behind her. "Stop!"

As she is about to bring down her blade, it is halted in mid-swing, stopping just at the brow of the servant in red. Her body trembles in rage as she tries to resist the order, feeling the order imposed on her by the will of the grail, holding off her hand.

She growls under her breath, lowering her blade, seeing the glimmer of sweat running down the servant's forehead as he sighs in relief.

"Archer!" the servant's master comes running, her feet beating against the pavement now as the danger has passed. Saber ignores the whelp, turning her attentions back towards her fool of a master, who comes running up towards her, breathing hard, a gleam shining on his brow as he bows from exhaustion.

"What... what are you doing Saber?!" he says. "You could have killed someone!"

"That's the intention, boy," she growls.

"What?!" he screams, yelling at her, face inches from her. "Are you crazy!? You can't just go around killing..."

She scoffs. This creature, which mere moments ago had fowled himself, now dares lecture her on what is right and wrong? When he cowers from his own servant? It is too much!

She grips the collar of his shirt, pulling him close suddenly as she lifts him off the ground, holding him in the air.

"This is a war, you damned fool! We kill servants and masters to obtain the holy grail! We..."

"Holy grail?" says her master in a surprised tone. "You mean that crazy thing King Arthur was after in the legends? That thing?"

She stares at her master, eye twitching, her hand squeezing on the hilt of her blade. How, she thinks, how can this fool not be aware of the holy grail? How can he be in this war if he knows nothing about the most base elements of the war?

"It's alright, Rin," says the servant behind her. "It's not as bad as it looks."

"Like hell it is!" his master shrieks. "I'm getting you back home to tend to those injuries! Damn... how can a servant get injured like this so fast?"

That last part is barely a whisper. There is a quiver to her voice as she says it, the fear evident. Good. It'll keep her from being a nuisance in the war. But..

Saber glances back at the servant. He is heavily injured and bleeding profusely. She should finish him off and take the advantage to eliminate the weak master at his side as well if not for her own weakling of a master...

"Saber! You can't just..." her master begins, when she cuts him off.

"Your ideals will get us killed," she says. Her words are said quietly, but with a sharpness that cuts off his yells, leaving him with a questioning gaze.

"The sooner you become aware of this, the better. Now... let us return. We have much to speak of."

She stomps past him, bitterly pushing him aside. They've lost the edge of surprise against this duo. When they come back into power they'll proceed with greater caution, aware of "who" she is, and how the Archer can know who she is already when she knows him not galls at her deeply. This is going to come back against her in time, she's certain of it.

* * *

"I-I'm sorry, Tohsaka," says his younger self stuttering as he walks near them. Archer tries to listen to him, his hearing distorted, finding his own weight leaning against Rin just so he can half stand. Damn, he thinks, the wound Saber had given him is far deeper than he'd have given her credit for. It makes any movement from his part scream with agony that cripples him. Had it been so long that he'd forgotten just how brutal she is? It must be.. Because soon, though he wishes to argue the point, he soon finds himself passing out... memory and desire fading into darkness as his body slumps to the floor, unconscious.

* * *

Shirou tries to apologize for what the woman in armor did, extending his hand towards Rin as a show of trust, hoping he can help her get the injured man to the hospital. He's lucky that woman stopped when she did, though he still doesn't understand why she did, why she listened to him at all. Though, it seems he arrived late anyways, the man leaning on Rin looks about ready to collapse, his breathing awkward, strained to his ears. The gash on his chest looks really bad as Shirou can see muscle and tissue through the injury. They need to get him to the hospital, quick. He can't believe the woman he summoned did this. She...

The explosion at his foot makes him falter, he falling ungracefully on his rear as he stares at the black mark before him, the floor burnt.

"Tohsaka?" he says in shock. "What the hell?! I was just trying to help!"

"Shirou..." she says, her voice low pitched and cold, reminding him all too much of someone else. "Leave."

"But..."

She points a finger at him, steadily aimed at his forehead, a bright tear running down her eye.

"Leave."

He stares at her momentarily, uncomprehending before it finally sinks in. She blames him for this as much as that strange woman, and he has no defense for it. He's the one who summoned her and because of her this man was nearly cut down and another might be dead in his yard somewhere. Though... where could she have hidden the body so quickly?

It doesn't matter, she's heading back towards his house, last he saw. He needs to find her and draw her out. Get the cops down here... or something. But what can he tell them? Hi, I summoned a woman in black armor wielding a giant sword with magic and she's already killed two people! Come down here and stop her? It sounds ridiculous even in his head, but the whole thing sounds ridiculous.

Who was the nut wielding the spear and why did the woman he call up.. Look and act like this? In fact... how did he summon her to begin with? He needs to find out and get to the bottom of this, he thinks. And fast. Before he ends up in the floor like the others.

He gives Tohsaka one last glance, muttering an apology before he runs down the street towards the woman in dark armor who makes him want to shit himself and wondering how mad he must be to be committing to such acts? He truly has lost his mind, but it doesn't matter. Not as long as he can prevent other people from being hurt! If he can stop that then it's worth putting his life on the line. He knows it.

* * *

She sits on the dais, blade on her lap, gazing at the item in her hands which was once the beautiful excalibur, now a blackened shard with unusual twisting runes on its surface. She scoffs at the thing, running a rag over its surface, clearing away the excess traces of blood and gore from the blade. It is an ugly thing. Repulsive in appearance and meaning, but it should at least retain its use. After all, a war can not be won without a weapon and it has already served its purpose more than once. As ugly as it is, it will serve.

She growls in a low voice, lowering her voice. The twisted blade is not the problem. The mana she has expended on both her battles is the concern and the fact that her master is not replenishing it. That mana she lost, it is not returning...

Is the fool doing this to punish her, or does he truly not know?

She rises from her seat, glaring towards the wooden gate before her, eyes narrowed. She suspects the answer is the latter.

Her fist crunches, squeezing tight. So the grail would deny itself by giving her such an unworthy master, one so beneath her? Fate truly does have a way of spitting on her face, mocking her and her desires. But even so, she will manage. She has eliminated one servant already and crippled another. If she keeps going in this manner, then she will take the grail, regardless of the weakness of her master. Speaking of which... there is a matter of utmost importance she must deal with first.

"How long do you intend to hide behind that gate, Master?" she says. "Your cowardice is truly unbecoming."

* * *

He'd run to his home after his less than cordial parting with Tohsaka only to find the woman in dark armor seated on his porch with her sword out, as if waiting for him. Waiting to stab him more like. He wonders what he should do when her words split the still air and more importantly, echo in the recesses of his mind as if connected to his conscious.

The voice sounds against his skull, almost bored but with a dangerous edge to it, sounding as if she's irritated as well. He swallows, a large wad of saliva going down his throat as a bead of sweat runs down his brow. She knows where he is and she is calling him out. He clenches his fist, biting down on his teeth as he tries to control the beating of his heart pounding in his body. He won't run. He'll stand up to this monster, if for no one other than himself. It's what his father would have wanted.

"Until you leave this place!" he yells. "I don't want anything to do with a murderer like you!"

"It's unfortunate you don't have any choice in the matter," she says from next to his ear. He screams, falling backwards, staring up at the woman. When had she gotten so close to him? He hadn't even seen her move or heard her. So when did that black mass get so close?

"Is this really how pathetic a master you are?" says a childlike voice to his left, sounding as if it is scolding him.

Shirou turns slowly, regarding a silver haired girl with red eyes looking down at him from the shoulders of a behemoth that nearly disappears into the darkness. What the hell, he thinks. When did "that" show up here too?

The girl seems to giggle, kicking her feet against the giant's shoulder in a childish manner.

"Are you really so scared of your puny servant?" says the girl, smiling down at him, wickedly. "Don't be. If you want to be afraid, be afraid of my Berserker! He's going to cut you in half, after all. Now... Berserker.. Put him out of his misery!"

The giant glares down at him with beady eyes, snorting like an angry bull while it raises a blade as long as Shiro is tall and three times as wide. Shiro simply stares, his face paling as his eyes widen, his heart racing further and the only thing he can think is... why me?


	4. Chapter 4 - a change of heart

"Put him out of his misery, Berserker!" the little girl yells, her voice sharp as she gives out the instructions to her behemoth partner. A being with a giant blade that is so great in size, Shirou would have to struggle just to lift it an inch. A blade that is coming down towards him with crushing force and Shirou can only think, why? Why is this happening to me?

He shuts his eyes, preparing for the inevitable blow that comes down upon him and the pain that is sure to follow as flesh and bone is split, meat rent asunder.

He winces, however; when he hears another blade slam against the large one, stone ripping with the blow as metal screams. He opens his eyes to stare wide eyed at the woman in black, placed before him, taking the brunt of the blade, the weight of the Herculean giant pushing her small frame to the floor and yet she manages to push back, gritting her teeth as muscles strain to push back against the giant's weapon.

"S-saber?" he says in surprise.

"Get out..." she mutters.

"What?"

"Get out of here!" she screams, finally throwing the blade aside, making the giant stumble, his small beady eyes staring at the woman in shock.

"Woa!" says the small child on his shoulder, jumping down from him. "She's stronger than she looks! As expected of the saber class. Berserker..."

The titan leans back, letting out a bellowing roar as he comes forward again to slash at Saber. Saber knocks the blow aside, swinging left then right, her blade slashing with stinging sparks against the man's arm bands.

"If you refuse to run... master..." she growls, "then at least stay in place so I can insure your safety."

"Um... kay..." he whispers. "But Saber... why?"

Her shoulders slump slightly as she glances back at him.

"Don't you know?" she says in an almost soft voice. "It's because you're my master."

Shirou stares in shock, mouth agape as his mind tries to fire signals to his brain and understand what he's just heard. Her master? She protects someone she'd think beneath her because of something so simple? Why?...

Before he can ask more questions, however; the woman is rushing into battle anew, yelling a battle cry and she runs headlong into the fray, slamming her own blade against the giant's, pushing him back. Shirou's fist clenches at his side as he stares at the fight, helpless to do more than watch.

"Saber..." he whispers, "be careful."

* * *

As her blade crashes against the giant's, pushing aside the great thing, she wonders, why? Why risk herself for one so weak? Is it truly worthwhile to fight for one so devoid of ability who can not even restore her mana? Her master has literally no use and yet...

Her blade slams once more against the Herculean giant's, pushing it aside even as her muscles scream in agony from the force being put against them. Yet, still, she perseveres, dodging to the right when the giant swings his blade, letting it crash harmlessly into the concrete next to her or brush at the air just above her as she dodges, feeling the dull tips of the blade pull at her hair. It stings, but the strain is nothing compared to being able to fend the beast off. She slashes one more time, pushing the monster aside, noticing the small master at its side quivering, staring with twitching eyes as she reconsiders the situation in which she finds herself.

The girl, she can be no older than ten, thinks Saber, the girl, she looks strikingly like her mother. As her blade pushes another blow aside from the giant, she thinks, the girl bares a strong resemblance to that woman. Same silver hair and bright red eyes, with the same determination. How she wishes this one were her master instead of this pathetic boy. But...

She glances back at him once more, seeing a firmness in his eyes. A hardness in his stance that she recognizes. One that feels... familiar...

She has to blink her eyes as she sees the boy's shape blur, replaced by that of a woman in a blue dress adorned in bright silver, golden ringlets blowing in the wind as she stares back with firm eyes of green. She sees... herself. As she once was... before the grail poisoned her flesh and left her... as she is.

Her mind pauses, struck as if by some bright light when the lips on her older form yell, rushing towards her with arm extended, screaming her title.

"Saber!"

A man's voice. A moment before the image of her master comes back into view, he rushing forward foolishly into the battle. Why? Why would he...

"Now... Berserker! While she's open! Finish her off!"

It is then, her eyes widen as she turns back around to see the giant bringing down its great blade towards her. It seems as if in slow motion as that blade comes towards her, her own blade rising so sluggishly towards it before it comes down across her chest, armor splitting like paper as that blade cuts into her flesh, scraping across bone quickly, her ribs rippling as the blade cuts across them as she falls back with an open scream. Falls back into "his" arms. Her master's.

She tries to push him away feebly, a tear running down her eye.

"Didn't I tell you to run?" she whispers. "Then why..."

"I... I don't know..." he says. "But I'm not going to let you just die here! I can't!"

Those eyes, full of such hard determination and heart even while his lips quiver and his eyes brim with tears. For a moment they blur and she sees hard green ones looking down at her, mouth set in a firm line.

She swings at the figure with an uppercut, catching it with her fist under the jaw, pleased that her old self grits its teeth, squinting at her. She smiles, cruelly.

"I won't lose to you.."

It's the last she can say before the energy seems to drain from her being and her head lolls to the side, losing consciousness in those soft arms holding her. How pathetic, she thinks, to die in my master's arms while I'm seeing illusions...

* * *

Ouch, Shirou thinks, moving his jaw as pain laces through it with a horrific sting. Damn, even injured, this woman can certainly throw a hard punch. Was it because he was crying for her? What a stupid woman. Trying to hold back her emotions so fully she'd even reprimand those who show them.

"Saber," he says, "you have to get up. Get up, Saber..." he says, shaking her shoulders. But the woman is unresponsive, her injury still bleeding on the floor, her skin paler than normal, a line of sweat forming on her brow. "Saber!" he screams. "Saber!"

Come on. Come on, he thinks. No, this can't happen again. Not again. The fires from his past come back to his memory, the smell of burnt flesh, the screams of the dying assailing his ears even as he stumbled past them, too weak to do anything for those around him, too weak to do anything but walk away and ignore their cries. He'd sworn to himself that never again, never again would he allow people to die on his behalf. So why... why did this woman put herself in harm's way when danger came upon him? Why?!

He shakes her in desperation, angered at himself for allowing this situation to happen anew, for another to be dying because of him! Is he really so weak that he can't help anyone? How is this happening? Why?!

"It looks like your servant is done for, brother," says the little girl. Shirou's grip on the armor clad woman stills, a cold sweat running down his brow as he turns his head slowly towards the white haired girl and the giant bull towering over her, glaring down at him with small beady eyes, the grip on the giant's handle tightening.

"And if she's done for," says the girl, her voice having a dark tilt to it, "then so are you! Berserker..."

A light flashes on in one of the apartments across the street, a woman's voice sounding. "What's going on here? Who's down there?"

The girl's lips firm as she looks towards the bystander who is still masked in shadow, her small hands curled into fist.

"Damn it," she says. "Come on, Berserker. We'll finish off the servant later, if she's not done for already!"

Shirou stares, the giant glaring at him, the mass of black hair waving before its body relaxes and it turns away, walking after the small girl, his great steps booming on the street as he walks after her. Shirou's heart pounds away at his chest, as if trying to rip away from his flesh as he stares at the duo, swearing the giant disappears right in front of him, even though he was keeping his eyes on the thing! Damn it! How...

He feels a hand cover his own, squeezing it lightly. He looks down, seeing amber eyes look back towards him with concern. He stares, his heart pounding for another reason, looking at her. How soft and small her lips look, her brow furrowed in worry as she looks at him with those deep eyes. He'd never realized, let it push through his mind, that the one he was dealing with might be a young woman. He shakes himself inwardly, berating himself for letting himself get side tracked.

"I'm going to call the ambulance," he says, intent on moving himself away from the woman to get some help. "Just hold on!"

But before he can move, her grip on his hand tightens, so hard and painful he winces, feeling bone grind against one another.

"No," she says, trying to push herself up on one arm. "Just help me up."

"But your injury..."

Even as he mentions it, he stares down, seeing a kind of strange energy reseal the wound that just moments before was bleeding copiously. What? He thinks. How?

He is brought back to his senses as the woman begins to pull at his arm, pulling him down towards her so she can balance herself, her free hand gripping his shirt. Her head smacks into his own, her breathing slow and heavy as she leans against him, brow slick with sweat, her hot breath pushing against his lips. He swallows, staring at her, a mixture of emotions swirling through him as he looks at her. This is a killer! His mind tries to yell back at him in reason. She tried to kill those people! But... he reasons, she also tried to save his life.

Her yellow eyes open once more, regarding him, a dark coldness within them. Burning red, he swings her arm over his shoulder, as he tries to reposition her, his awkwardness making her stumble a bit before he manages to position himself properly.

"Sorry," he says, hearing a pained wince from the woman as she takes a step forward. "If not for me... you wouldn't have gotten into this situation! I..."

"No," she says in a curt voice. "I was careless. It was my fault. I was... distracted."

Her face so close to his he can't ignore seeing the softness of her features. He shuts his eyes and takes a slow breath before moving forward, pushing past his distractions. Why, he thinks. Why does everything always have to be so confusing and complicated with him? It would make things so much easier if everything were just black and white. But.. If that were true then he could never become a true hero. It's just the way things are.

"Come on," he says, trying to put more of her weight on his shoulders so the woman doesn't aggravate her injury further. "We're almost to the porch. Just let me... get you inside and I'll get some things set up for you so you can rest."

They walk in silence, the woman not even grunting as they walk forward, the only sound is the beating of his own heart and the clattering of her armor as it moves. As they move ever closer to his residence, the dim light of the porch light seeming to grow stronger, he hears a whisper come from the woman's lips.

"Thank you," she whispers. "For helping me."

It takes him a moment to register what the woman said, seeming uncharacteristic of her with what he has gathered, but he shakes his head, pushing the thought aside. "Don't worry about it," he says. "It's what anyone would do for someone in need."

* * *

She regards him with steely eyes for a moment before turning away, her lips pressed in a firm line as she remains silent. Shirou stays quiet himself, concentrating on simply putting another foot forward, helping the surprisingly heavy body forward, one step at a time.

She hates this, this weakness, having to rely on this man... no, Kiritsugu was a man. This.. This is just a boy still coming out of his swaddling clothes and here she has been injured so severely that she needs rely on him. It infuriates her so that Altria is grinding her teeth as they enter the abode. She should not be so weak, even with the lack of mana in her system, this is simply humiliating. If she hadn't allowed herself to be distracted by illusions of herself...

She finds herself suddenly falling forward, a wave of nausea and dizziness hitting her full on.

"Easy, Easy..." says the young man, pulling more of her weight onto his own body as she falters in her steps.

"Enough," she growls, "I don't need to be coddled like some infant!"

"Right," he says, "cuz I'm sure you can handle a bull ox in your current state."

She turns to him, her fingers biting into his shoulder, making him wince.

"Do you jest? I assure you such mockery will land you in a pit of trouble!"

"No. No!" he says, face paling as a bead of sweat forms on his brow. "Just... stay here while I get something for you. I don't think I should move you much further."

"Yes," she says, pulling away from the man and leaning back against the hard wall. "Do that. Your presence irritates me."

He frowns, staring at her, hands balled into fist.

"What?" she says. "Did I offend you? Be off to it!"

The young man sighs, shoulders slumping and shakes his head, scratching it with the back of his hand. She wonders if this is some mannerism of her master's when he is nervous or frustrated? It matters little as he soon disappears, his feet booming down the hall. She wonders if he'll leave her here now or come back? It matters not, she thinks. She is wasted potential at this point. A lamb to the slaughter and though that analogy galls at her, there is little she can do to deny it.

Sighing, she looks around the room. It seems large and spacious, the smells of food just behind a soft looking door and several cupboards. He must have left her in the pantry, she thinks. Well, at least she can feed herself when she's strong enough to stand. She can gather some mana from that at least.

She pauses, thinking of the other way mana may be gathered, the more "practical" way, of flesh to flesh contact and she growls, beating her fist on the floor. To allow herself to wallow in such wantonness...

"Here," says the young man, shocking her as he throws a cover over her shoulders. She hadn't even noticed him return. Is she so truly out of it that such obvious actions are beyond her senses now? How embarrassing!

"It's not much," he says. "but I figure it's something in case you get cold."

"I'm a servant. I don't become chilled."

"Yeah..." he says, once more scratching his head again. "I still don't get this "servant" stuff and all..."

"I can explain it. It..."

"Later!" he says, making it sound almost like a command. It is a command she realizes, as that energy washes over her, forcing her lips shut. Damn it, she thinks, gritting her teeth. Her fool master has wantonly used another command seal! How stupid can he be?

"You're in no condition to be lecturing me right now," he continues, oblivious to his actions. "So just get some rest. We can talk about the servant stuff tomorrow."

She grinds her teeth for a moment and then relents. It's too late to back out now and he's already used the command seal. There is nothing to be done for it, she will accede.

"Very well," she says. "But we will speak of such matters on the morrow."

"Alright," he says, "But you just take care of yourself and try to heal. That's an..."

She thrust out her foot, catching him beneath the heel and trips him forward into her lap. The weight is sudden and uncomfortable, especially with his squirming, but it is better than letting him use another command seal. His last one if she is thinking clearly.

"What was that for!?" he yells.

"You were about to give an order," she says.

"Yeah.. So?!" he says, his face flustered as he looks up on her. She sighs. He really is a novice to even the most base of matters.

"You can not give orders willy nilly as if throwing them to the wind!" and she grips his hand tightly as if to emphasize it.

"Why not?" he ask, still flustered.

"You ordered me not to say, so I can not till the morrow," she says. "So..." she sighs, irritated at the fool's idiocy. "Just don't give any commands loosely. It matters greatly."

He stares at her for a moment, confusion on his brow before he stands up slowly, wiping his nose of a blood smear where the armor bit into his lip.

"Alright," he says, "if you say it matters that much, then I'll let it go. You.. Just take care of yourself for tonight, kay?"

She is taken aback, eyes widening as she looks upon him. Even after her treatment of him, he still cares for her condition? Shoulders slumping, she nods.

"Yes, master. I.. Will do as you say."

"Good! I'll see you tomorrow!"

She is shocked by his sudden upbeat attitude but that last only momentarily as she sees his lips twist in a frown, his eyes softening as he looks at her. He seems full of... worry? For her? Ridiculous! She turns away with a growl. No one cares for her, least of all, the one who would call himself her master. She is just a tool for him! Nothing more. Right...?

She hears him sigh before his steps recede, a switch clicking away leaving her in darkness before steps are receding from her presence, leaving her alone.. Just like she was when those fires broke from the grail and the darkness overwhelmed her. Just like then... Alone.


	5. Chapter 5 - living arrangements

The cries of battle ring in the sky, swords crashing against one another, steel grinding against steel. Bodies fall as metal pierces bone and flesh, the sounds of men dying all around him while people cry to rally around their king. But Shirou can't see who that is. The mass of bodies seems to block his sight, impeding his movement as shadows blur around one another, seeming to push him aside.

Only as a dark mass before him falls does he see a face flushed red, blood running down her forehead as she looks down with hard eyes, blonde hair whipping in the sky. Eyes of emerald rise to regard him, piercing him with a strong gaze.

"Saber?" he ask, when the woman's eyes shut and the vision disappears, another sight of her greeting him upon waking, inches away from his face, cold amber eyes looking down upon him with a deep seated bitterness.

"H-hey," he says, a drop of sweat running down his brow. "Um... glad you're feeling better from yesterday... but do you need to be so close?"

"Unfortunately, I do," she says in a dark tone. "I apologize for the discomfort this brings, but I require mana to continue to function properly as your servant."

"A-alright," he says, trying to swallow a wad of spit as he stares up into her cool eyes. "But what does that have to do with..."

He is unable to continue with the sentence before the woman leans forward, her mouth closing with his, her tongue pushing between his lips, darting around towards his. It is so sudden but intoxicating, he has little by manner of having it stop. Even as his conscious stabilizes enough for him to think of trying to push her off, the woman grips his wrist, pinning him to the floor as she continues to fondle his tongue, her own darting back and forth while her lips press roughly against his mouth. He can barely breathe as she continues her assault upon him, a wave of dizziness washing over him.

It is only when he hears a sing song voice sound at the door to his room that the strange woman pulls away from him, but only after the owner of said voice has opened the door, her eyes twitching as her mouth hangs down nearly to the floor, hair suddenly standing on end as she stares at Shirou.

"F-f-fujine! What are you doing here?!," he says, trying to hold off the impending storm that is sure to hit.

"I came down to find out why food isn't ready and why there's a mess in your living room only to find this... this harlot!"

Fujine points an accusing finger at Saber who simply stares back impassively with arms folded on her lap, dressed in something that drains the color from Shirou's own face. Where once was a woman dressed head to toe in armor that was so fully covering one could possibly have confused her for a man, now she sits before him in a nearly sheer nightgown, sitting next to him while he has nothing on but sweat pants. No wonder Fujine has the wrong impression, Saber does look like a harlot in her current dress.

"I-it's not what you think!" Shirou yells, raising his hands in a pathetic attempt to defend himself.

"It looked to me like you were in the middle of a make out session with this skank!" says Fujinee, her voice seeming to grow louder with each syllable uttered, her face growing equally red in anger.

"It... it wasn't..."

"That is exactly the affair I was engaged in with the Master of the house," says Saber nonchalantly. "Is he somehow not old enough to engage in such affairs?"

Shirou turns slowly towards the woman, wondering if she intends to damn him to hell? She stares back as if there is nothing wrong with what she said and that there isn't a disaster looming just before him.

"Of course he's not old enough!" Fujine yells. "Why..."

"This is none of your concern," says Saber rising.

"Like hell it's not!" yells the older woman, blocking Saber's path out of the room. But even as the woman tries to impose herself upon the blonde she finds herself shoved aside by the indifferent woman. "What? What are you..."

Shirou puts a hand on Fujine's shoulder, keeping the woman from rushing after the other smaller individual.

"Don't," he says, his fingers tightening on her shoulder in warning. "You don't want to get on her bad side."

"What?" says Fujine, flabbergasted. "What about my bad side, eh? Have you thought of.."

But before the woman can finish her sentence, Shirou finds himself stumbling forward, a wave of nausea overwhelming him, his vision blurring.

"Sh-shirou!" says Fujine, propping him against the door. "What's going on?!"

"I.. I don't know..." he says, trying to stand back up on wobbly feet. "It's like all my strength got taken out of me suddenly..."

"You should probably stay in bed," says Fujine, her furious tone replaced suddenly by a concerned one, as her hands come on his shoulders, holding him up.

"Don't worry," he says, trying to mask his own worry with a false smile. "It's nothing," he says, trying to take another step and just barely keeping himself from falling. Why, he wonders, why does he suddenly feel so weak? Did Saber do something? He needs to find out.

* * *

Distasteful, she thinks. The need to acquire mana through such a manner as skin to skin contact with her lackluster master. It vexes her severely and the situation is made all the worse by the woman who'd blustered inside claiming she was a harlot! The nerve! She is a king, first and foremost!

She stops in the midst of her walk, fist clenched as she thinks on the matter, biting her lower lip until she can taste blood.

No, she thinks. "Was" a king is more appropriate. She lost all rights to call herself such when Camelot fell and all rights at restoration when she lost the golden chalice right before her thanks to her former master. She'd been so close and yet... it had been torn away from her and her body and soul had been exposed to the poisons inside, coating her in the slimy filth that had altered her into this state.

She looks down at her palm, a pale white thing, looking like marble, the cries of hatred and loathing still reverberating in her skull, chanting with cries for her death. A death she would gladly grant those souls, but only upon her retrieval of the chalice and undoing of what had happened in the past. Only then will she thrust excalibur through her own chest and end her existence. For now... there is still a war to be waged and an inept master to train. The more she thinks on it, the further away the chalice seems which infuriates her enough to turn towards the nearest wall and rip a hole through it with her fist.

A soft cry to her right draws her attention and she sees a young woman with long violet hair stare at her, body shivering. She wonders what the woman is doing here but puts it aside. She need not vent to a commoner but she'll not stomach their presence either.

"Whoever you are, leave this place. I am in no mood to deal with whatever tomfoolery you're about."

She waves at the woman as if shooing her. But rather than disappearing as she'd desire, she sees a fire instill in the woman's eyes as the woman grinds her feet into the floor, despite the obvious fear she has as her hands are cupped towards her chest in small fist.

"N-no," she stammers. "Where is sempai? What happened here.."

"I told you to LEAVE," Saber growls, no longer having patience with the woman.

"No, Saber," she hears a stern voice say. "That's enough!"

Saber turns and gives her "master" a steely glare. It seems he is ready to push his foolishness anew and she has had about enough of it.

* * *

He'd heard the thud of the wall as it had boomed with a small explosion. It had caused him to run to the living room, stumbling, but at a run all the less. What he finds is Saber trying to get into a confrontation with Sakura. She isn't attacking Sakura, but the tension in the woman's body and how coldly she's addressing his childhood friend sends chills down Shirou's spine. Enough that he tries to intervene.

"No, Saber," he says, "that's enough. You can't just..."

He doesn't even see her move, only feels as her hand comes up around his mouth, his head banging against the wall with a crash.

"Senpai!" he hears Sakura scream as he sees Saber look up towards him with a cold glare, her eyes seeming to burn with an icy feel that chills his insides.

"Do. Not. Give. Another. Order," she growls. Her fingers seem to squeeze tighter around his cheeks, making him wince as he struggles against her iron grip like a rag doll, finding his feet scrabbling for the floor, his toes barely touching it. What the hell? He thinks. What is she? What is she?!

She leans forward, her grip just as tight as ever.

"I will follow your command, but don't feel so free to spout orders as you are or I will drive my sword through you after your last order is given and the seal fades from your wrist."

His body stiffens as he hears her words. Looking into her eyes he knows the threat is not idle. She will do it. If he gets out of line, she will kill him! What's worse, if she kills him, there's no telling what she'll do to Sakura or Taiga. Both are staring as if a demon is in their midst, unable to move to help him.

"Do we have an understanding?" She says menacingly.

He nods his head, blinking as his movements are limited in her grip.

"Good," she says, slowly releasing her grip on him before letting him gasp for breath. He coughs, feeling his jaw, only realizing Sakura had rushed to his side as he feels her protective arms wrap around his shoulders.

"Sempai," she says, "are you alright?!"

He looks into her worried eyes, her lips quivering and hears Taiga's shouting and knows if he doesn't calm the situation then it's going to get worse and he can't let these two come to harm's way for him. Not for him.

"Get out of my house!" Taiga yells, her body rigid as she screams at Saber, pointing to the outside.

"No," says Saber calmly, her voice so hollow it seems robotic.

"If you don't get out I'm calling the po-"

"Fujine," he says, "it's fine. We just had a misunderstanding."

"Misunderstanding?!" Fujine practically shrieks. "What kind of misunderstanding has this woman pinning you to a wall?!"

Taiga is bristling, wanting to attack but at once Shirou can see her body is shivering, her face sweating. She's scared.

"Senpai?" he hears, feeling as Sakura tugs lightly but urgently at his arm.

"Relax," he says, "things with Saber are just..." He regards the woman before him quietly who turns back to him with a cool gaze. "They're just complicated. She just needs a place to stay since she's.. uh..."

"I've come as Shirou's body guard upon request of Kiritsugu," says Saber suddenly. He stares at her wide eyed. How does she know who his father is?

"What the hell?!" says Taiga, her bullheadedness overriding her fear. "The only one he needs to be guarded from is you, you.. You harlot!"

He sees Saber's body tense. Fujine's words have gotten under her skin. He needs to step in and diffuse the situation before it gets more out of hand.

"There has already been an attempt at Shirou's life," she says, ignoring Taiga's jab. "As Kiritsugu surmized there would be in the given time. I am here to make certain Shirou stays amongst the living."

"Even if what you say is true," he hears Taiga say, her voice quivering. "Why haven't you just called the cops? Surely they can..."

"If the authorities could do something they would have done so already. I am part of Kiritsugu's special task force. I will keep Shirou safe to the best of my abilities..." she says turning towards him. "As long as he can follow safety protocols. Such as Not yelling in the middle of a room."

Shirou feels a cold chill run down his spine. Now she's spinning the story so that it falls back on his clumsiness.

"Thanks, Saber," he mutters under his breath. "Why don't you go change into something more... proper.. And we can discuss things later?"

"As you wish.. Master."

She puts the word at the end almost as if she is mocking him, but walks past without a word. Fujine for her own part seems to stare back with a stern look but nearly jumps back from Saber's glare before turning back to Shirou and walking quickly over towards him.

"Shirou..." she says in a hushed voice, "is it true? Has someone tried to kill you? The broken glass out front.. Is it from ... that?"

It isn't a lie, he thinks. With the man in blue tights who pretty much did manage to kill him. He finds his hand wandering subconsciously towards his chest and feels Fujine's hands suddenly tighten protectively over his own.

"Gods," she whispers. "So it is true."

"Fujine..."

"Shirou... be safe," she says.

"Fujine...?" he ask, worry filling his body. The older woman slowly pulls away, taking Sakura by the arm. "Come on Sakura. We shouldn't bother Shirou right now. There's nothing we can do here."

The younger girl looks back at him with fear in her eyes but allows the older one to lead her out. As the door shuts with a click he hears the light tread of Saber's feet. He turns towards the woman suddenly, gripping her shoulders.

"How do you know my father. Tell me."


	6. Chapter 6 - memories of darkness

The grail had been just in reach, appearing before her. After all her trials and tribulations, all the betrayals and subterfuge, the grail had shown before her. For all her struggles, she would finally reap the rewards and be able to save Camelot from its miserable fate underneath her leadership. Or so she'd thought.

Then her twisted master had come forth uttering the command that had damned her. "Destroy the grail."

After everything, it would all be for naught. She'd screamed at the unfairness of it all as excalibur had torn the grail in half, bisecting the precious metal, all her hopes breaking with that one act, that moment suspended in the air before her, making her struggles a mockery. She'd sworn she'd heard her peoples scream back at her in anger and rage when her body had torn away their hopes. She couldn't have known how true those thoughts were.

It was not the cascade of black filth that washed over her seconds later, drowning her as the dark slime forced itself into her lips and orifices, through her nose and eyes, slinking its way through the curves of her ears and burying itself beneath her finger nails, burning as it went down into her body that broke her. It wasn't the fire that seemed to burn her flesh from both inside and out as that slime slithered over and through her body that broke her. No. Those she could have bourne without thought, just another burden upon her shoulders. But what came next, that tore her mind for the next several years.

Being plunged into a fiery darkness where hands and tendrils clawed at her flesh, tearing her armor and clothing, stripping her of any modesty as they held her. Not satisfied with her naked skin, those fingers with dulled chipped nails tore at her flesh, sinew and tendon, muscle splitting with their pull even as more of that filth was poured into her mouth so she couldn't breathe. Through it all, she wouldn't die.

As if her horrors weren't enough with the physical, the voices screamed in her mind, oh how the voices cried. Screaming against her ear, muttering for her life to come to an end, calling her worthless, a whore and worse. Things she was aware of, but what followed, seeing the face of each and every ally as they spoke to her and defiled her, her mind going through event after event were men and women she knew scorned her, raped her and finally murdered her, this broke her.

How many times did she die? How many times did she feel Lancelot throw her on bed and use her as a harlot? Or was it Bedivere? Or Merlin? Mordred? She no longer knew, it happened so often and with so many faces, they all blurred into one. Into that face with slicked hair and cold eyes. Kiritsugu. No, it was never enough. In that darkness, how much did she bleed? How often did she feel Mordred's spear push itself into her stomach, ever so slowly so she could feel it turn inside her gut? Or feel the noose squeezing around her neck? Or the head man's axe come down on her neck? Or.. Or... how many times? How often? How many ways? How many people killed her? How much was she scorned and screamed at and yet she could not die even as she watched her body torn apart. No. Once one nightmare was done, it would slide into the next, a never ending cycle of pain and suffering. Each time with that shadow standing over her, grinning maliciously. Kiritsugu.

She could not block the voices out, the choking and fire with her flesh tearing seeming an ever constant event. Never cooling or slowing, just a continuous constant of pain and horror and death. All hers. To bare and suffer. Held in that hell for an indeterminate amount of time until she was finally summoned.

Until the man before her, this young boy with red hair and golden eyes... saved her. This boy who stares back at her, wanting her to uncover memories that have swirled and blackened into visions of pain and agony all ending with that one figure standing over, his body twisting and swirling in the mass of darkness. Kiritsugu.

"Your father..." she says numbly. "Your father sent me to hell. That is how I know him. Your father... your father is the Devil!"

"Your father..."

She wants to continue, to tell this man before her what horrors the man named Kiritsugu Emiya put her through, but as she is to utter the words, she feels something constricting at her throat, her mouth feeling suddenly dry. She gasp, trying to breathe, oxygen seeming denied her and she starts to claw at her neck, trying to unclog the blockage, screaming wordlessly, begging for help.

It isn't until strong arms wrap around her shoulders, bringing her in tightly against another beating heart that her breathing begins to slow. Breathing, she thinks. Breathing... just.. Breathe.

The devil isn't here anymore, she thinks. His cold eyes aren't here to look down on her as they damn her to death.. Over and over. The voices are gone. There's nothing anymore... nothing but this young man and herself. That realization makes her tremble, the fear having taken hold that she'd managed to block out since returning. A fear making her tear up and whimper. She buries her face in this young man's chest and begins to cry, all the fear and rage releasing against this being who she barely knows but this being who is the first in many years to give her any sense of comfort. She can't stand it anymore, having been alone for so long that she breaks...

* * *

At the mention of his name, he'd wanted to know how this person knew his father. He thought he'd get illusive answers and that he'd need to prod her to get information out of this hostile woman, except what actually happened with saber had thrown him for a loop, that's for sure. Saber had mentioned him as she were talking about a snake, calling him the devil himself, but what happened next... he hadn't expected it.

It had looked like she was trying to say more when she clasped at her throat suddenly, her eyes bulging.

"Saber?" he'd said in fear.

Then she'd started screaming that she was on fire, that she couldn't breathe. He'd tried to shake her, calling out her name over and over but she'd continued to scream as if she couldn't see him or hear what he was saying. In the end he only just managed to bring her close, pulling her tightly against him while holding her hands down so she wouldn't claw at her neck anymore which already bore the marks of her nails, while he tried to figure out what was going on. It was more a movement done out of instinct and panic than anything else. Just a last ditch effort to stop Saber from hurting herself. And somehow... it worked.

Now he holds this woman close, pressed against his chest. A woman who'd not a few minutes ago had held him against the wall, threatening his life. Yet, that same woman now holds him as if he were her only life support, her hot tears flowing against his chest as he runs his fingers through her hair and simply whispers that it'll be alright. He can feel her hot tears running down his chest, soaking his shirt, her sobs a muffled pained thing. This woman who'd been so hard faced was suddenly a small child in his arms, shaking uncontrollably.

It's bullshit, he thinks, of course. How can it be alright? The man he's cared for and looked up to his entire life did something... something so awful that Saber had a complete break down. That's not normal. What did his father do?

Shirou shuts his eyes, his mind going back to that horrible day ten years ago when the flames licked at his cheeks and back, wanting to wrap him up in their horrible embrace. How he had avoided it at that time he has no idea. Through all the screams, cries of people begging for help or simply screaming from agony as they suffered, through this he walked. His mind a fog as his eyes blurred from the smoke, he breathing in those hot vapors as the fire spread and cooked the earth around him, wanting to cook his lungs with it.

At some point his legs wouldn't or couldn't handle the weight of his body anymore and he simply collapsed in the stinking earth, smelling so much of blood and decay. In that hell he shut his eyes, thinking he'd never wake up again. Except he did.

A kind of warmth had pushed into his flesh that had shaken him, given him a pulse where it had been about to give out and he'd woken up, looking into the sad but gladdened eyes of a pitiful man with shaggy hair dripping rain, a miserable smile on his face. He hadn't understood why the man had been so happy, his father, only that he had been and he himself had been saved from death when so many others had perished.

He had thought for so long that he owed all those people he walked away from who perished because of him and that he owed his father, that being who had pulled him from the ashes of death. He'd thought he did, so then... why is it that at the mention of his father, this woman who he'd sworn was made of steel, snapped? What did Kiritsugu do to her that's left her like this? Could it really be he was saved by his father while that very same man left someone else to purposely burn to death? Otherwise... why would she say she couldn't breathe, that her throat was on fire? Father, he thinks, biting back angry tears as he holds Saber close, what did you do?


	7. Chapter 7 - threats and choices

He remembers that night, looking to the heavens, sitting next to his father, Kiritsugu, the man who'd saved him from the flames so many years before. That man who he'd owed his life to had adopted him and chosen to call him son. He'd given Shirou his own name and shown him just a bit of the magical abilities he'd borne. Because of that, Shirou had worshiped the man and wanted to become just like him. A hero.

This tired, old man with bent shoulders and drooping eyes forcing a smile on his lips, Shirou wanted to be like him. At that time, Shirou had believed he was the ideal, everything to look up to. A hero like no other. But now...

Saber's hand shakes on the table, rattling as she tries to breathe, her breath coming out in rattling gasp. All he can do is try to put his hand on top of her own and hold it tight to try and reassure her.

"We need to take you to the doctor, Saber," he says. "This... this isn't right. Your condition..."

"Is none of your concern," says Saber in her steely voice.

"Like hell it is!" says Shirou, standing up suddenly, shocking the woman. "You're shaking like a leaf, all because.. Because of..."

He sits back down slowly, the image of the perfect man in his mind suddenly crumbling away, burning into ash along with his old life in those fires. He'd lost everything then, until Kiritsugu came and pulled him from the ash. Now though.. Even that seems to be pulled away from him. How much more will he lose?

"I just..." he murmurs, staring at his own hands that begin to shake.

"Even if I wanted it..." says Saber, regarding him, "there is nothing they can do. I am not of this plane of existence. There is naught they can do for me. Only the grail can..."

"The grail?!" says Shirou, nearly screaming. "Didn't you just say it did this to you? Why would you want something that hurt you so badly? It doesn't make sense!"

Saber is silent for a time, not looking at him, almost as if ashamed to say anything. When her words come, they are slow and quiet.

"The grail is a wish granting device. As a servant, I am summoned to try and fulfill my heart's desire."

She sighs, letting out a slow breath.

"It is true that the grail is... warped..."

"That's putting it lightly," says Shirou. Even if Saber didn't have her condition, the other things that have occurred because of this.. "Device" have left a bitter taste in his mouth and he doesn't like it. He still can't forget that Saber killed someone. Even if that someone tried to kill him, it still isn't right.

"Yes... be that as it may, it's the only way for my people to be restored to their former glory. To be saved from... my errors."

"Your... errors," he ask. This woman has a people? More so... she cares about them? He'd have figured such a being would care about no one but herself. It seems the more he is around Saber, the more surprises she gives him.

"Yes... I removed the blade from the stone and for that treacherous mistake, I doomed my people to oblivion. I want to rectify that mistake and erase that error from history."

Sword in the stone, he wonders. She couldn't be...? That's not possible! That person was a man, wasn't he? And Saber is definitely a woman. But something else she said bothers him too.

"If... you get your wish, doesn't that erase your existence too?"

"Perhaps, but if it's to save my people, I'll accept that fate."

"That's bullshit!" Shirou yells. "You shouldn't have to erase your own existence to save others! That... that's not right!"

"That's my choice, Shirou. Not yours."

"But..."

"Sit," she says. Her voice holds an icy command and her eyes brook no reproach. Shirou grits his teeth, fist clenched but sits back down, listening to what this woman has to say.

"What I want is of no concern if neither of us survive this war, Shirou. You saw Berserker."

Shirou's eyes grow wide for a moment, memory of the large titan of a servant who'd borne down on he and Saber is still vivid in his mind. There had been no mercy in the being's attacks. Only the need to keep things quiet and out of the public eye had allowed them respite.

The police had even come in to ask him about the attack, a bit after Saber's first attack. Even now he can hear the sirens and walkie talkies, the movement of the officers outside. The giant had torn a massive groove into the floor just outside his residence and the police are currently investigating it. He'd told the officer who'd come over that his shattered window was broken during the night when they'd heard an explosion but that nothing else was damaged. The officer had looked at him quizzically, but with nothing else to show for the damages, and Saber looking almost bored at the whole situation, the man had grunted and let them be. Though now their movements out front are more than an irritation. For now, the officers seem to be keeping themselves out by the street where the main damage is located.

"It's fortunate the authorities believed your story," says Saber.

"We were asleep, there was an explosion and the shockwave blew out a window," says Shirou. "What's not to believe?"

"Yes, be that as it may, we should be cautious in our conversations," says Saber glaring at him as if he'd said he was a mole rat come to eat her cheese. Which with Saber, may not be too far from the truth.

"On to a more serious matter," says Saber, pulling his right hand forward. "This marking on your hand is your last link to myself. You last life line as a master. Lose it and you lose all right to call yourself a master and be a participant in the grail wars."

"So if I just use this quickly then I won't need to be wrapped up in this mess anymore?"

"Correct," says Saber, leaning back, eyes narrowed. "And I'd kill you."

Shirou's face pales, the blood draining from his skin. She hadn't even hesitated at the comment.

"You wouldn't actually... do that, would you?"

"Why shouldn't I? You've already misused two of the seals. One by ordering me "not" to kill an enemy servant and master, which need I remind you now that we lost the element of surprise in regards to those two, they can and will come back to finish the job you were too foolish to finish."

"But Rin would never..."

"Are you certain of that?" says Saber, giving him a glare.

He thinks back on the dark haired woman, a youth from his class who he's admired from afar and how angry, how betrayed she'd looked when Saber had slashed the man she'd been with. When he'd tried to help she'd fired some kind of projectile at him that had exploded at his feet. The tears in her eyes had been real and the anger...

His shoulders slump as he realizes that what Saber says is true. He can't trust Tohsaka not to kill him. Not after what he let Saber do. The next time he sees her might be when she shoots one of those projectiles into the back of his skull and then it'll all be over.

"I see you're beginning to understand the situation," says Saber. "Your second mistake was ordering me to get some rest to recover. While I understand the need for it, you made it an order. And as a result," she says, extending his hand so he can look over the seals. "As a result, you lost one command seal. Use any more and they'll all be gone and then I'll kill you."

"You say that so easily," says Shirou, pulling his hand away. "Like it were the easiest thing in the world to kill somebody."

"Far from it, Shirou. It is one of the hardest things one ever has to do. Your body and your soul grow numb from the butchery."

"Then why..."

"If you would damn my people because of your tom foolery then the offense is punishable by death. Do not mistake my words, I take no pleasure in the taking of life. I find it revolting, but it is a necessity. Not a pleasure. Never a pleasure."

"You sound like a king," says Shirou. "Dictating her decrees."

"I was... once upon a time," she says solemnly. "I am no longer. Even so... I still bear the duties of one and have to see such rulings through to the end. As a former king I have no other choice on the matter."

"I see..." says Shirou rubbing his hand as he pulls it away. "Then... um..." he bites his lower lip as he ponders this next question. "If these things are based on commands, when I asked about my father... how come..."

"How come your seal didn't disappear?" says Saber. "Maybe you didn't command it or maybe one of the others wasn't and I just thought they were. Or perhaps... perhaps the grail just likes seeing me suffer. Whatever the case, be weary of using that final seal so off handedly as you have the others. It will not do you well."

"You know, I could use this seal to make you kill yourself?" he says in a low voice. Though she'd said nothing on the matter directly, he'd picked up the command seals were just that. Orders that Saber had to follow without question and he could order her death and be rid of her once and for all. It'd be so simple, but he questions, does he really want to do it? He's never killed somebody. He didn't even want to kill the man with the spear. Does he really have the guts to put Saber to death because she threatened him?

His hands shake in his lap as he stares at Saber with narrowed eyes and what he hopes is a straight face. It's all a bluff. Even if she threatened him, even if she might be telling the truth. He can't kill her. Not like that. It'd be too cruel.

Saber is quiet and he can feel her dark aura as if it is willing to engulf him and swallow him whole, daring him to try and act on his bluff. The tenseness is stifling and Shirou feels almost ready to choke on the air itself. It is Saber who eventually breaks this tension with her words.

"You could, but that would be unwise. While this would keep me from killing you, would it keep Berserker from doing it or another servant? Two servants who yet live know you are a master. Killing me would only post pone your death, but it wouldn't save you. And who is to tell other masters aren't aware of your identity? A master who yet lives is always a threat to the others. The only way to make certain an enemy master doesn't remain so is complete elimination."

She walks around the table, placing a hand on his shoulder, leaving him rooted in the spot.

"Be weary of any rash decisions, Master," she says. "It could cost you."

With these words she moves away, disappearing into the recesses of the house, leaving him shivering and afraid. What has he gotten himself into? He's mixed up in a war he never wanted to be part of, finding out things about his father he never asked about, in a house with a woman who might at any given time kill him! This is nuts! Why is he even here still with this type of situation over his head?

The stillness of his solitude is broken by a voice from the outside, a tall figure stepping inside, broken glass crunching beneath his boots.

"You are Saber's master, are you not?" says the red clad man, looking towards Shirou with a hard stare. "I'd have a word with you."

Shirou stands slowly, regarding the man, remembering him as the "servant" Saber injured last night. From the looks of it, the man's injuries are all healed now. Not a scratch on him, as if Saber had never cut him to begin with.

"But the cops..." he says, grasping at straws.

"Are negligent in their duties. And their eyes aren't quick enough to catch my movements anyways."

He takes a step forward and Shirou falls back, his heart thundering.

"G-get back! If Saber..."

"It's about Saber I want to speak to you about."

"What?" says Shirou, eyes narrowing. "What do you mean?"

"She is lost Shirou. She needs guidance. She needs..." The man stares, glaring at Shirou, his lips curling as if with anger before the man lets out a soft breath. "She needs you. Only you can help her see the truth of the grail."

"The grail?" Again with that object. Why is everyone so focused on that thing? He can only think it brings misery to others, so why is everyone so obsessed with it?

"I can see you're mulling over the reason everyone is so obsessed with that object," says the man, as if reading his mind. "You're correct to doubt it. The masters and servants believe it is a wish granting device but what it really is... is just a malevolent entity that needs to be destroyed."

"Then why..." says Shirou.

"Desire. Duty. Need. The reasons most humans would desire such a thing. But think of this... look at Saber. Is she really in a proper state? Look at what the grail has done to her."

"Why do you care?" says Shirou, standing up slowly. "Shouldn't this make it easier to kill her? Kill me?"

"Easier?" says the servant, looking at Shirou with sad eyes. "Such things are never easy."

"That's what she said..." says Shirou. He looks towards the man, confused about his openness with him. If he is an enemy then why is he going out of his way to tell him these things? What is his purpose? It almost feels as if... there's something familiar about him that he can't put his finger on.

"You're the only one who can make her see the light, Shirou Emiya. Make her see the light and save her. Don't make the mistake your father did and damn her to hell."

"My father!" says Shirou, trying to reach out towards the man. "What do you know of my father?!"

There is the briefest movement from the servant before he disappears. In his place a figure steps up from the glass, knocking loudly on the window pane before sliding it over. "Hey, is everything alright here," says the uniformed man. "I heard yelling here."

"No..." says Shirou, regarding the officer, looking for the red clad figure who seemingly disappeared before his eyes. "I... I was just talking to myself. I had a bad night is all."

The man squints at him before shaking his head.

"Whatever. Stupid kid."

The man turns away, walking off grumbling. Shirou feels the tension slowly slide away from his body when a voice speaks from behind him.

"Do you believe me now when I say other servants may target you?"

Saber's voice makes him jump and he turns around to regard the small blonde before he nods.

"Yeah... I um... guess so."

"Be weary of the words from enemy servants. They have the same objective we do. Do not let them muddle your wits."

"Right," he says quietly. "Whatever you say."

He regards the woman before him, thinking on the words of that man from moments ago. "Save her." That's what the servant had said and Shirou can only wonder, why it is that man cares so much for Saber? Why?


	8. Chapter 8 - hidden in plain sight

"Archer," he hears his master's voice nearly bellow in his head, "where are you?!"

The tall silver haired man sighs, running fingers through the thin bristles of hair he has. Ever since the surprise attack from Saber, Rin has been bristling and truth be told, she has reason to be as his fingers wander towards the wound which is still healing itself on her borrowed mana. He should have remembered how possessive Rin could be. Still, this is more important, he thinks, following behind the pair of Saber and his dunder headed younger self.

Instead of choosing to remain at the Emiya residence where it is safe with the great number of police running circuit, the duo has chosen to attend school with Saber seeming to have picked her odd habits already of dressing in men's clothing. If he didn't know better, Archer himself might think her simply an effeminate man being dressed in a copy of Shirou's uniform. Still, there are certain aspects she can not properly hide, he thinks as he watches her back, his eyes wandering lower...

"Archer! Where are you!?" Rin's voice hollers in his skull again, seeming to echo in his cranium. He wonders not for the first time if a servant can be murdered simply by how grating a master's voice can be in their head. Regardless, he feels obligated to answer now that he has been made out.

"I'm following Emiya and his servant, Saber. They are heading towards the school yard as we speak."

"But..." she says, her voice quiet, "you're injured. If that servant decides to attack you..."

"Do not worry, Rin," he says, "there is quite a congested population of students and civilians walking this road and I am invisible. Saber would have quite a bit of trouble concealing an attack right now."

"Still," she says, "be careful. If you die, I'll never forgive you!"

He smiles at her commentary. If he dies. True he is keeping a distance from Saber for the very reason Rin speaks of. Altria if she has the slightest opportunity of committing a kill in secret will take advantage and slay him where he stands. Of that he has no doubt. Though he knows his time is not yet... he'd rather not tempt fate by throwing himself in front of her. She nearly cleaved him in two last time. It'd be best not to play with fire.

He stops, feeling someone's eyes boring into his and just realizes Saber has stopped and is regarding him. Shit, he thinks, he hadn't stayed back far enough away. He stops, his heart racing, when Emiya seems to come to the rescue, pulling the woman away. He sighs, feeling his shoulders slump in relief. He is still not up to full form yet, the injury from the night before still stinging, whatever he may have shown the Emiya boy. He is still not fully recovered yet.

He lets himself fall back, for now...

* * *

"Come on Saber," says Shirou, tugging at the arm of his servant, pulling her along with him so they can be on their way to school. He's already missed most of the day as is, he thinks as Saber follows along next to him and having Saber with him just complicates matters. Though.. He looks over at her, feeling a red flush in his cheeks as he looks the woman over. She does fill his uniform out nicely.

"Is there something wrong with my attire that you're looking at me so?" she says, regarding him.

His body suddenly goes rigid, eyes looking skywards.

"No! Nothing at all! It's just fine!"

"Hmm..." she says, a small frown on her lips before she nods. "Very well then. Let us carry on."

He watches her, hands slipped into her pockets as her hips sway back and forth and finds his eyes wandering back to her. Yeah, he thinks, no matter what she says, there's no way someone would confuse her for anything but a woman. Her insistence on dressing up like a man, no... on dressing up like him had irked him initially along with her insistence on accompanying him to school. But, as he's already aware, she isn't a woman who easily takes "no" as an answer, so even though he's coming to school to basically pick up homework and just be out of the house, he has this woman walking alongside him, dressed as a boy, her bun switched out for a simple tail. She wears the clothes as if they were tailored for her and truth be told they are a bit larger than her frame but it still looks good. How her rear swishes to the right then the left when she moves makes him blush red but he can't seem to move his eyes from it until it stops and turns, Saber regarding him with a frown.

"What are you staring at?" she says.

"Uh! Well..." he says, his body stiffening and going rigid suddenly as he tries to think of an excuse. "It's... umm..."

As she leans close, her body pressing against his, he finds his mind having difficulty concentrating, his eyes wandering down to her figure. Specifically her breasts pressed against his chest, their soft feel undeniable.

"You're distracted, Master," she says.

"Wh-what makes you think that?!" he says, eyes glued to the curvature of her breasts and how they press against his body. So soft and...

The crack across his face makes him blank as a flash of white crosses his vision. It takes him a moment to come back to the present, the sting against his cheek clearing his senses. Saber stares at him, arms crossed over her chest as she glares back at him.

"This is a war, Master. Keep your head in the battle unless you're eager to lose it."

"Right," he says, grumbling, following alongside her, his eyes wandering over her form but coming back to face forward quickly as he notices the turn of her head. He's not wanting another slap to the face, being the first one still stings badly. He glances at the woman at his side, she now with her hands in her pockets, keeping her head low. He does the same, only noticing Issei heading out towards him as the man calls out to him.

Issei is a thin lanky man with horn rimmed glasses. A student council president that Shirou often finds himself helping out with his reinforcement magic, though his friend is ignorant of his magical capacities and he'd like to keep it that way. He gives him a cordial greeting, eager to reacquaint himself with something resembling normalcy for once since this mess started.

"Hey, Issei," he says, waving his arm. "How are you doing?"

"Better than you," says the young man, pushing up his glasses. "If that mark on your face is anything to go by. It seems you've found someone just as problematic as the Tohsaka woman."

"Yeah..." says Shirou, rubbing his cheek where the mark still burns. "It..."

"Shirou was taking liberties he should not have. Despite being engaged, there are formalities we must still adhere to, before our union is finalized," Saber says, giving Shirou a dark glare, daring him to counter her argument.

Shirou just stares with mouth wide open, eyes bulging as his heart tries to burst out of his chest.

"E-en..."

"Engaged?" says Issei, sounding as equally shocked as Shirou. "To this numbskull?" he says, pointing at him.

Shirou glares at his friend, his brow twitching, his shock wearing off as he thinks on what a depreciating comment he's just been given.

"Thanks, Issei."

"Sorry," says Issei, calming down, "But you aren't the most astounding individual. To find that you've been with the opposite gender and engaged as well... is surprising. I'd hoped to bring you into the monastery as a monk of the order. But then, even the most stoic of men seem to be taken in by the opposite sex."

"What do you mean," ask Shirou, genuinely surprised. Had Issei found himself a woman as well? This he has to know!

"Mr. Kuzuki is also recently engaged. To an elegant woman of high standing that has taken up residence in Ryudo temple. She appeared only a few days ago but Mr. Kuzuki is very taken in by her and the monks have allowed her a special private room for her own affairs."

"Really," says Shirou, smiling. So it isn't Issei who's found a woman. It's Mr. Kuzuki. "Didn't figure Kuzuki would be one to get married, with how hard and stiff the guy is but guess you never can tell."

"No kidding," says Issei. "I find the whole affair with the opposite sex just to be trouble but that's merely my opinion."

"This woman," says Saber, speaking up, "she appeared only a few days ago?"

"Yes," says Issei. "Only about a week ago. Why do you ask?"

She shakes her head.

"Nothing, just a curiosity."

"Right," says the bespectacled youth before walking past Shirou. "I need to head out and get to some studies. Don't be a stranger, Emiya. If you ever change your mind about the engagement, the temple could always use more stalwart men."

"Right, Issei," says Shirou, smiling. "I don't think that'll be a problem. Saber's just a little... rough around the edges is all."

"She's your fiancee. Just don't let her use you needlessly," says the man before walking off.

"He's always been an odd duck," says Shirou, speaking to Saber. "But he's a good man."

"Yes, he may have inadvertently have helped us," she says, rubbing her chin in thought.

"What do you mean?" not liking the idea of where this conversation is going. He's had enough of servants already and finding another isn't helping his mood.

"It may be nothing. But it's possible that new woman is a servant, like myself."

"Nah!" says Shirou, trying to push the idea aside. "There's no way that Mr. Kuzuki could be a master. I mean..."

The woman is staring at him with hard eyes and he stares back in surprise.

"You really mean that he might be a master?" he says, backing away from the woman.

"Yes," says Saber. "And for the moment we have the element of surprise on our side."

"Yeah..." says Shirou, his hands balled into fist, his body shivering. He doesn't like the notion of having just mixed Issei into this entire affair, but if it is true that Mr. Kuzuki is a master with a servant as dangerous as the man in blue tights or Berserker, then shouldn't they investigate it? And looking at the hard woman next to him, does he even have a choice?


	9. Chapter 9 - girl problems

As he watches Issei walk away, he tries to push out the thoughts Saber has given him. It's best not to dwell on such things or wonder how Issei might be involved. Not if it's things like with that little girl and her... monster is the only thing Shirou can think to call it. Though... he regards the blonde next to him, thinking how much of a monster she is. An attractive monster... but still...

"Well, if it isn't Emiya Shirou!" says a high pitched voice from across the grounds. Shirou turns slowly to regard the young man with curly blue hair and dark wicked eyes that match his grin, eyes shimmering with a dark wit. Shirou often wonders about the man, but he'd rather think the best of people. Like Saber, he thinks, as she glances back at him. She has reasons for doing what she's doing, right? He's sure Shinji is just the same way. Misunderstood. And he won't be one to try and push him away from something so trivial as that.

"Oh, hey Shinji," he says jovially. "How are you doing?"

Shinji sidles over to him, hands stuck in his pockets as he smiles up at Shirou with a crook of the lips.

"Didn't figure you for the slacker, Emiya," says the young man. "Are you finally growing a backbone and trying to rebel?"

Shirou scratches the back of his neck, laughing, a drop of sweat running down his forehead.

"Oh, come on! I just missed one day! It's not that bad!"

"Yeah... maybe," says Shinji already having dismissed Shirou offhand as the man regards Saber who glares back at the being as if she'd want nothing more than to grind him beneath her heel.

"And who is this?" says Shinji with a whistle, letting a hand drift towards her face. "A new playmate, Shirou? Are you trying to make me jealous?"

Saber swats the man's hand away, glaring.

"Keep your hands to yourself, worm!" she growls menacingly.

Shinji grimaces as if he'd been struck in the face, the smile Shirou had seen briefly falling away in a mask of disgust. Shinji turns towards Shirou with a snarl, pointing at Saber with a finger dangerously close to her face as he yells, "Learn to keep your dogs in their place, Shirou! She doesn't know who she's talking to! If I had half a mind, I could..."

Shirou raises his hands, more sweat dotting his brow. How is it the woman can get him in trouble with every person he meets?

"Come on... Saber is just a little rough around the edges. That's all. She..."

Saber's hand flashes suddenly, gripping Shinji's wrist and twisting it behind the man's back a she leans close to his ear.

"Lions eat worms like you for scraps. Do not get on my bad side, mongrel."

With these words, she shoves Shinji before her and grips Shiro's arm, who'd been in shock at her actions, about to intercede, only to be confused by Saber's sudden actions towards him. More confusing is it when she places her lips against his, her tongue pushing into his mouth. He feels unable to breathe as she begins to explore his tonsils, her hands holding his wrist down as she kisses him deeply. Shirou can only take it as his face goes beet red from shame, fear and excitement all mixed into one cacophony of emotion. Before his mind can clear and process what is happening, it is over as if it never happened. Saber pushes away from him, her expression remaining neutral as if all she'd done was clear a stain from his face. Shirou simply stares, highly embarrassed but at once having desired for that contact to last longer than it did.

"Y-you and... h-her!?" says Shinji, his voice splitting into a high pitched screech. "You're... you're trying to embarrass me, aren't you, Shirou! You bastard! You think you're better than me, don't you?!"

"Wait!" says Shirou, shocked. Why is Shinji acting this way, like he's been affronted by Saber and he? Not by Saber's actions of twisting his arm, but the kiss? Sure, Saber is beautiful, but Shinji is always surrounded by beautiful college girls so why is he freaking out like this?

Shinji just stares, eyes watering as his lips tremble.

"You're a bastard, Emiya! Making fun of me like this!"

"Shinji..." Shirou says, trying to calm the situation. "It's not like that! We..."

"To hell with you, Emiya!" says Shinji suddenly turning away and running off like a child who'd been scolded by his parents. Shirou watches him vanish into the building before them and he firms his lips, turning towards Saber.

"What was that about, Saber?!"

"That's exactly what I'd like to know," says a strong self assured voice from before them. Shirou turns towards the voice, regarding the girl with long dark hair tied in twin tails at the side of her head regarding him with a frown. "I thought you said yesterday that this girl was unknown to you and now she's dressing in your clothes and kissing you? You've really gotten yourself comfortable with that woman all of sudden, Shirou. Too comfortable."

"It is merely an exchange of mana," says Saber, stepping before the woman. "Nothing more."

Shirou simply stares, watching the women come to odds with one another. Somehow he missed Tohsaka coming out of the building as Shinji ran away, more concerned with Shinji's feelings then another person coming by to harass him and get him in trouble. How can things really get any worse, he thinks.

"Your pact with that numbskull is that weak that you have to exchange mana in that manner, is it?" says Rin, her glare turning into a dark grin. "Then that'll give me an advantage later on."

"Too cowardly to try something here," says Saber. Shirou sees an energy begin to form at her wrist and he rushes over, covering her hands with his own. He is not about to let her try something with Tohsaka. Wether they get along or not, he's not going to let Rin get hurt!

"Saber, there's people around!" He says. "We..."

"You're drawing attention to yourself, Shirou..." says Saber, and sure enough, as Shirou lifts his head, he can see that people around them are staring. Those who were walking off school grounds or entering are now looking at him, wondering what he is doing.

"Um... look guys, it's not what it..."

A hand at his shirt collar suddenly draws him forward once more and he feels all too familiar lips closing around his again, a numbness starting to run over his limbs as her kiss envelopes him. He just barely sees Tohsaka walking past him, murmuring to herself about "the two of them," before disappearing out the gate. Saber doesn't let him go until Tohsaka has well and truly vanished from the premise.

"Alright, Saber," says Shirou, feeling very dizzy and unbalanced. "What was "that" about?"

Saber holds him, for which he is grateful, as the sudden nausea and dizziness leaves him tottering, but she regards him with those same hard eyes as she does so.

"It is as I said earlier. Mana exchange. After we collect your assignments from here, then we can venture towards the temple grounds and find out about the servant that resides there."

"You really won't let this go, will you?" he says.

"No."

It is that simple. A one word answer. Nothing more. And with that, he is beaten already.

"Fine," he says, pulling his arm away from her grasp as he adjust the collar to his jacket, "but we'll do it at night, when everyone is away and no one can get hurt."

"That is agreeable," she says, not looking at him. "Tell me, is Mr. Kuzuki one of your teachers that you need to pick up assignments from?"

"Yeah... why do..."

A switch in his mind finally clicks and he regards the woman next to him with a twitch to his eye.

"You just want to size him up, don't you?!"

"Of course," says Saber flatly. "If he is an enemy, we should be aware of his capabilities. And I for one would rather not be caught unprepared."

She begins to walk forward and stops, realizing he isn't following her.

"Are you coming?" she ask.

He regards her with a frown, his fist clenched but sighs and grits his teeth as he stomps towards her.

"We're going to need to have a talk some time about your general outlook on things," he says.

"In my time I've learned that trust is something not to avail yourself of."

He stops, taken aback by her words.

"Why?"

"Because," she says solemnly, "everyone will betray you."

She says no more and doesn't turn back when he stands there, thinking. She is the complete opposite of him, he thinks. Where he trust everyone, she trust no one. Everything has turned on her in such a way, she thinks she can trust none. And with what's happened, what she revealed about his own father, how can he blame her? He might be the same if their roles were reversed. But...

He opens his palm, staring at it, thinking. She thinks she can trust no one, but he knows she can trust him. He clenches his palm into a fist, nodding to himself. All he needs to do then, is prove she can trust him! Then... well then maybe she'll start to look for the best in others too. It is worth a shot, he thinks as he rushes towards her. There's nothing to lose and everything to gain. So he's going to try and show her that, whatever it takes!


	10. Chapter 10 - before the battle

They walk down the cobblestone path, keeping in silence even as Shirou rubs his shoulder. The welt Saber had given him when she'd slammed the wooden sword down on his shoulder had made him shout out as he'd fallen almost immediately to the floor, curling in a small ball in the dojo. Rather than worry for his pain, ask him if he was alright, she'd jabbed him in the side, asking him in a dry voice if he was done already.

He'd gotten up and drawn the quivering wood sword up before him only to be assaulted by the woman's jabs and strikes, he falling again and again to her assault. When he'd tried to change his form, to switch out with two shorter blades, she'd smacked the blades out of his hands and told him he'd learn properly or not at all before scoring him a harsh blow on his right shoulder where she'd hit him previously.

How he'd allowed the woman to convince him to take up training with her while they waited before coming for the servant being and master here at Ryudo temple he does not know. Perhaps it was his desire to keep Issei out of the situation, if at all possible, or perhaps it's because, as the woman said, he'd be unlikely to back out from any fight if push came to shove and a master had to be worth something. Which he'd have to agree with. Reinforcement is hardly much good at full out combat with an experienced mage he imagines, but even using that with the practice sword, Saber schooled him, over and over. He found himself becoming rather well acquainted with the different grains and rifts in the floor as she threw him about like a rag doll.

Even cooking dinner hurt as his shoulder yelled at him on more than one occasion as he'd lift a plate or stir the spoon. And Saber had only watched him with an impassive eye as he went about his business. Never offering to help, but always simply keeping an eye on him. Though she'd eaten the contents on her plate quickly enough when he'd finally managed to put some down on the table and demanded extra helpings. It didn't matter, even injured as he was he always made extra and with only Saber there, well, if she didn't eat as she did he would have had excess. But now though...

He rubs his arm again, the pain from the bruise along with its many cousins making themselves known now that his energy is wearing thin.

At least picking up papers from his classes had gone without incident, not that he's had a chance to even look at them. The closest thing to an altercation that happened was with Mr. Kuzuki himself, who had regarded Saber sternly, his eyes narrowing for a moment as he looked her over. Saber had considered him of her own right and Shirou had wondered if the two would come to blows, but as quick as the tension had built up, it dissipated and Kuzuki had simply handed him his assignments and seen him on his way. Now... as he rubs his shoulder he thinks he's simply on his way to another fight when he'd just barely gotten out of one earlier.

"You'll get used to the pain," says Saber. "It is part of growing up and learning."

"Your compassion just warms the heart," says Shirou sarcastically, but it causes Saber to stop for a moment to regard him, her eyes widening for a moment.

"It does?" she says in an almost child like voice.

"Yeah.. It..." he begins, about to retort snidely when he sees her expression. "Is something the matter, Saber?" he says.

She turns away, shaking her head.

"No. I must have heard you incorrectly. There is no way you could regard me with any compassion."

This makes him wonder anew about her condition and he clenches his fist, remembering his resolve from earlier. He'll help push that humanity to the surface, it's just a matter of time.

* * *

Saber regards the fool with a cold eye, quivering lightly as she feels his eyes trail over her. She turns abruptly, not wanting him to see the weakness in her. A thing he could take advantage of. Not that he can do much in his current state, hobbling along as he is, though he is doing far better than he should be considering the force she put behind the blows during the sparring session. She'd treated him only a little more lightly than she would a regular servant, but he'd managed to handle it well and he even mentioned her compassion? No... he must be mocking her. But still... as she finds her eyes wandering towards the young master, his eyes lock on hers and they fill with worry.

"Are you alright, Saber?" he says. "You seem... worried."

She turns quickly anew, wishing to avoid eye contact, starting to walk more hurriedly. She hears him calling but she keeps her pace, but slows after a time, waiting for him.

"I'm sorry," she says, words she remembers yelling over and over, but back then it was to avoid pain, to avoid violations and tortures and... death. Now though... it is because of her own actions and it feels genuinely strange. "Your actions... your being... confuses me," she says. "I've always known others to be selfish and regard others second if at all. You... seem different. It confuses me." She bites her lower lip as she says this, fist clenching. "And I don't like such feelings."

He places a hand on her shoulder, giving it a light squeeze.

"It's just part of being human. No one's going to hurt you."

She brushes his hand away, turning in anger.

"That's where you're wrong, Shirou," she says. "Everyone can and will hurt me. And those I trust... more so..."

She walks quickly, thinking on these things. Those she trust? Can she trust? Does she want to trust? And as she looks towards the young man, her heart races and she begins to think, yes... she really does. But, is it a mistake to do so?

She walks more steadily, calling forth her armor in a burst of energy and drawing forth her blade, the twisted Excalibur Morgan with its corrosive energies. She tightens her grip on the handle, trying to focus. Battle. She needs a fight. The more she can drown herself in a fight the less she need focus on emotion and confusion. A fight is clear cut. With one focus and one goal. Emotions... are not.

* * *

Archer follows close behind the duo, not so near as once before and not out in the open where Saber might see through the invisibility barrier but close enough so he can see the pair. Saber is confused, it seems, showing more human emotions. A turning point in his relationship back then. It warms his heart but at once, worries him. If this is "that" point, then other horrors soon await and he needs to try and set forth into action to prevent that tragedy. Still, he needs to watch the duo as they approach the temple. If he remembers properly, there is a powerful rival here, one that had disappeared during the war and Archer thinks he knows why.

He grits his teeth, wondering how this fight ended up preventing him from being there? He only knows one side of the equation in this battle and if he can't figure out the second half then many people are going to die. He finds himself shaking, teeth biting into his lower lip. He should go back to her. That pig tailed girl who he'd once had a crush on has been doing her best to take care of him. After his injury from Saber from the night before she seemed unusually worried for his being and she's been watchful over him in these past hours. He should return to her. He...

"We will proceed from here," says Saber in the distance. "Be ready."

Shit, he thinks. Letting out a slow breath, he slowly unclenches his hand, forcing his body to calm. Rin can wait. He needs to be here. There is no choice.

* * *

"We will proceed into enemy territory from here," says Saber, giving Shirou a stern look. "Be Ready."

He nods, his fist clenched as he draws out the practice sword at his side. It isn't much, but with a bit of reinforcement, he can at least lend a hand during the fight.

"Trace... on..." he whispers. "Memorize components. Reinforce structure..."

The sword glows as fissures of green light flow through it through the invisible circuits within from where he grasp the handle. Saber glances at the blade and turns away. It won't do much, but it's better than nothing.

They begin walking up the long walkway towards the temple, Shirou still hoping Saber's intuition is wrong and that there is no servant up here. Because if there is...

Saber spreads out her arm before him, blocking his ascension.

"A servant is near," she whispers.

"Great," he whispers. Inside his head he screams as that hope he'd held is dashed to pieces. He looks towards the top of the staircase, glowering at it as a figure approaches. But something is off, he thinks. The figure is tall, with a strong bearing. Like a man. Then it dawns on him.

"Wait," says Shirou, as Saber draws her blade. "Didn't Issei say there was a strange "woman" at the temple? But this is a guy!"

"Indeed I am, young man," says the servant, a man looking like he stepped out of the fairy books of old Japan, dressed in his purple kimono and baggy pants, long dark hair tied back into a tail as the dreaded blade at his side is drawn out and pointed at the both of them. "I am Sasaki Kojirou," says the man, continuing. "Charged with guarding the passage of this temple. If you wish entrance, you must first defeat me. Only then may you pass."

Shirou sees Saber tense, her arms slowly lowering as she draws her blade. She closes her eyes and lets out a low sigh before opening them anew.

"I am Altria Pendragon of Camelot," she says. "If you block our passage then I will bring you down. For the grail."

"Wait," says Shirou, taken aback by her words. "Pendragon? Camelot? But wasn't that guy a man?"

"For the grail," he hears the Samurai whisper. As he turns, there is a burst of wind before him, the man disappearing in a blur of movement, Shirou himself almost being knocked back by Saber's own movement as she rushes forward, her blade coming down upon the samurai's. Shirou can only grit his teeth, shoulders tensing and watch as the battle commences.


	11. Chapter 11 - For Who he Fights

Their blades clash, blow coming down on blow as the samurai swings his sword at her and she likewise dodges and does the same. Each warrior pushing the other back with a hit, the blades ringing in the sky as they lock with one another in combat. A thing that makes Saber's heart race.

So simple. So straightforward. So liberating! There are no questions in a battle. There is only fight and kill or be killed. Unlike relations. Unlike that man below who makes her question...

She has to dodge to the right suddenly as the samurai sweeps below her guard and slashes at her arm. The sharpened edge rips through the sleeve of her arm, pointed teeth of the blade ripping at the flesh below, making her wince as she dodges aside.

"Saber!" she hears the young man call out as the injury strikes her. It is a sound of worry and fear. Glancing momentarily at him, she can see that fear outlined in his countenance. His eyes wide as he stares, hands gripped on his wooden sword as he debates jumping in or not. The sweat running down his brow as he thinks about running...

"You are distracted," says the samurai, looking at her, his sword rising slowly, pointing sharply at her. "You're thinking too much on that boy. Keep your head in the game or you will lose it."

"Still your tongue, knave," says Saber, her grip tightening on the hilt of her sword. "I need not words from one who'd dress as a woman."

"Such a foul tongue you have, Altria," says the man, raising his sword, his stance tensing as he readies his weapon. "I believe it is time I use "this" technique on your being and show you your place."

"Technique?" says Saber, her eyes narrowing as she looks upon the warrior before her.

"Yes," says the samurai. "A technique I honed to take down the flitting flight of swallows. A technique which gives no opening for escape!"

No escape, thinks Saber, her hands tensed as the man's aura changes, from the firm hard thing it already was into something tenser, the aura of death emanating from his being, beginning to engulf her. A feeling that has grown too common for her, making it difficult to breath as her hands tremble on the blade before her, the man's shape shifting into the shadow of the one who abandoned her, his face grinning with darkened bloody lips.

"No..." she whispers. "Not now..."

"Fear is the last thing the weak feel before they are broken!" the samurai yells before lunging towards her.

Saber dodges right, feeling as the blade cuts through her side, hitting her left arm and going across her belly. Even as the blade cuts, narrowly missing anything vital, she stumbles, losing her balance on the thin stairs.

"Saber!" she hears the young man yell once more before she topples over, her body smacking on the hard ridged edges of rock as she rolls down the path to land squarely on a lower stair, the young man quick to hurry to her side, shaking her shoulders. "Saber, are you alright!? Saber?!"

He is screaming, as if in a panic, keeping hold of her shoulders as he shakes her. Why? Why doesn't he leave her? He should be running. She's lost her use... as a tool. Now she is to be thrown away and discarded as any broken instrument. He will soon realize that and run, she thinks as a tear forms at her eye.

"Move away, young one," says the samurai, walking down the steps like a dark shadow coming to take her away, almost hearing Kiritsugu's chuckle as the man takes a step at a time, each step weighted as flames lick at her back.

"No..." she whispers, her breath coming in choked gasp. "No... please..."

"Saber?" says the young man next to her shoulder. She wants to reach out to him, to grip him for safety, but she knows that isn't the case. She is the servant. She is the one to die for him. A tool to be tossed aside when her worth has been lost as it has now. Why do her limbs tremble so? Why can't she stand? It's an illusion! She needs to fight! She needs to... show her worth!

"Now die," she hears the samurai announce coldly, his sword twisting with a metal ring as he prepares for the final blow. No, to die like this she thinks. So pathetic. How can she...

"Stay away from Saber!" she hears the young man yell from behind her and suddenly there is the crashing of blades once more, the snapping of wood before there is the clash of metal against metal. Saber turns slowly, watching as the young man lunges, with her sword in his hands! But her sword is still in her grip? So how...

No, she thinks, biting her lower lip. Not how. Why? Why is he risking his life for her?

"Shirou!" she yells, the pain and fear forgotten as a new worry jumps to the forefront. Why is he doing this? He's going to be killed! Pained legs once more find a steady ground as she watches in terror as the young man takes on an opponent far more sizeable than he.

* * *

That fear in her voice as she whispers a plea to him, gripping his sleeve tightly she pulls at his heart. It's like all those hands from so long ago when he was so weak, their hands reaching out towards his ten year old self as he'd walked, almost dead between them, ignoring their cries as others tried to assist loved ones, only to end up trapped beneath the flames themselves. All of them, reaching out towards him, begging him for help.. For mercy. Just as Saber does now, her eyes pleading as her lips curve in fear. He can almost see the flames surrounding her as if she were beneath a wreckage, begging for his help.

"Step away from her, young man," says the samurai wrapped in shadow. "It is her time."

Shirou glances from the man's hard face towards Saber who stares back with despair and his fist clench, gripping his wooden practice sword, energies flowing through it as he reinforces the wood, placing it before him as he steps in front of Saber, his brow furrowed in a frown. What he's doing is beyond stupid, but he's not going to let anyone hurt Saber! Never again!

"Do you intend to die in her place, fool?" says the samurai, blade turning as he glares darkly towards Shirou. This man, he thinks, he cares nothing for what she's been through or how she feels. He cares nothing for her as a person. She is only a thing to sate his desires and Shirou screams, leaping at the man before he's thought the situation through.

But even as he leaps forward, the samurai swings, his blade cutting through the reinforced wood as if it were no more than paper, the hardened wood shattering in a crash. The man's blade turns in the flying debris, coming towards him, time seeming to slow as the blade comes towards his neck as he begins to fall back.

Am I going to die here, he thinks, seeing that metal blade come towards him. No! He thinks, a pulse of energy bursting into his hand. He can't die here! If he dies, so will Saber! There's no way he'll let this bastard hurt her!

"Guuuaaaaggghhh!" he screams, his arm burning on fire, as if it had been dumped in molten lead as he swings his arm forward, something pushing out from the end of it even as he swings, knocking the incoming blade aside, the darkened sword with its red runes glowing in his hands. So very heavy, but so very strong, still crackling with energy.

"Fuck you," he hisses. "I'm not letting you hurt Saber!"

The man stares, eyes narrowed.

"A copy? Of that sword? But however powerful an imitation, it is still but a fraud!"

The man lunges, a swing of his blade crashing against Shirou's own, almost knocking the bladed end towards his face. He hears the material crack and he grits his teeth. No good. My projection isn't going to last, he thinks.

"An imitation can never compare to the real thing!" says the samurai, a second swing ripping through the projected metal, hurling the upper half of his false blade away. Saber's broken sword held in his hand.

"Now die," hisses the samurai.

As the blade travels towards his throat, he sees Saber lunging towards him, tears at her eyes even as that blade makes its way to his neck. He shuts his eyes, sighing. This time, he really is going to die.

"Sorry, Saber," he whispers. "I couldn't save you..."

The blade cuts at his neck before it is pushed aside roughly, a body hurling him towards Saber so he smashes against her chest. He barely has his footing as his feet still stumble on the stones, trying to find a balance when he hears the being who pushed him aside yell, "Get out of here! And take Saber with you!"

Shirou glances back, seeing the man in red swinging a copy of Saber's sword, a copy of a sword still in his grip. That sword rings against the samurai's, taking several hits without receiving so much as a scratch. As Shirou watches, the man's hair becomes damp and he briefly sees a reflection of himself fighting the samurai.

"You've got to be kidding me," he whispers.

The man in red kicks the Samurai back and turns back, glaring at him.

"What are you waiting for, you idiot! Get Saber out of here!"

The samurai has once more lunged at the warrior in red, the being who looks like a copy of himself, pushing him back.

"What the hell is going on?" he says.

A hand grips his shoulder, hard fingers burying themselves in his skin, pulling him back. He turns to look into Amber eyes that glare back at him.

"We have to go, Shirou," says Saber.

"But... that guy..."

"Let's go!" she shouts, gripping his arm in a vice like hold as she pulls him, stumbling away, a final glance of what looks like himself still battling the samurai disappearing around the corner of the path. What is going on here? He thinks. Why does that man look like him?!

* * *

She pulls her foolish master alongside her, jerking his arm along as she has them head back towards the residence, her own mind in as much of a jumble as her master's, she is certain, but she won't let him clear his head if what she saw there is actually what really is. If what she saw is so, then somehow, this young man gets pulled into this ordeal in a far more intimate way than he already is, damning himself to an eternity of fruitless combat. Damning his very soul the way she did her own!

She'd deny it, wants to deny it, struggles to do so, but she can not deny what she saw clearly this time. Her blade, excalibur morgan, held in that man's hands when not seconds ago, she saw it in Shirou's.

"Saber!" she hears the young man say, pulling at her hand. "What's going on?"

She stops, looking at him. His concerns sounded more confused than demanding, and how he stands, with eyes bulging and sweat dripping down his brown, teeth grinding against one another, confirms her suspicions. He's more scared than anything and he just wants to understand. She regards him, a frown on her lips as she turns away.

"I do not know. I am still wrapping my head around it myself."

"Saber... did I see what I think I did?"

"I do not know," she says, her hands clenching and unclenching.

"But then..."

"Things are still left unwritten, Shirou. We will have to find their meaning as time goes forward. Until then, we can only wait and pray."

The young man's shoulders slump, his grip on that broken hilt loosening.

"Lovely. I just... ack!"

As he speaks, Shirou's body seems to twist, his free hand gripping the arm that still holds the remnants of excalibur morgan, a scream issuing from his lips.

"Shirou!" she cries out, watching as he falls towards her, the remnants of the blade slipping from his fingers and shattering on the floor below.

"Shirou?" she says again, hearing him breathing raggedly against her shoulders. When he does not respond she becomes more worried. "Shirou?!"

She pulls him off her frame, still holding him. His eyes are closing even as his chest heaves, his breathing sounding ragged and labored.

"Shirou?" she says, trying to shake him. "Shirou!?"

He does not answer, his breathing slowing as his body grows limp in her hands, his body unusually warm. Too warm, even for someone who has just been through combat. He did something.. Something very bad when he summoned her sword and the effects are starting to manifest themselves.

"Shirou!?" she screams, dread filling her heart as she holds the still body and she, for all her warrior skills is helpless to do anything more but watch and scream.


	12. Chapter 12 - shared fates

Their blades crash against each other, blurs sparking, burning at his eyes as they hit. Archer stares at his opponent from between the whirl of swords, glaring at him as there is one final crash that comes down upon his blade, the metal cracking. Shit, he thinks, gritting his teeth as he pushes the samurai away. My blade isn't going to hold for much longer.

He holds the weapon before him, his eyes narrowing as he glares at the imperfections in this sword. He still needs to practice projecting it, but there is no time, he thinks, taking that stance that woman had taught him so long ago, hands gripping the hilt white knuckled. The samurai glares back, blade turned towards him, staring back as he tenses.

"So many of you interfering with my battles. You have no shame or honor," says the samurai. "So now that we're on a level playing field, consider it a final gift from me that I will slay you with this technique."

Archer's eyes widen for a moment, his heart speeding up momentarily before he forces it to slow down. It does not matter if that being's aura grows more tense, or the weight of it becomes more foreboding. All that matters is what is before him. The sword she gave him and the promise he made. Nothing may break that.

"I am the bone of your sword," he whispers, shutting his eyes as he feels more energy flowing through the blade, reinforcing the metal frame that has begun to crack. "Steel is my body and fire is my blood. These hands, which nothing will hold, unknown to life and known too well to death and failure call upon thee, Excalibur Morgan! Heed my call and be one with me!"

"Blade that cuts swallow in flight," the samurai yells, but even as the samurai calls out, just barely tensing as he leaps forward, Archer has lept as well, sword at his side, moving in an arc towards the samurai even as that blade cuts flesh and bone, piercing his side and stripping skin away. It is for naught. Too late. Too slow.

He feels flesh resist excalibur morgan then slowly and suddenly, give way. In that moment where time slows, flesh and bone is ripped asunder by the twisted blade. The samurai stumbles forward, grunting, blood spilling on the hard earth.

"Well played..." he says. "I'd treated you as a nuisance, but you were a viper in the wing, weren't you?"

"I am more than you thought," says Archer, letting the sword he holds fall away. "And less. I am only the shadow of my king, Altria Pendragon."

"A mere shadow..." says the samurai, his image already fading as his soul gives out, releasing the energy back towards the grail. "How self deprecating..."

"Perhaps," says the Archer, holding his side, the blood flowing over his fingers. "But it is what I am."

He grimaces, watching the final traces of that energy fade and shakes his head. While he needs to return to Rin... and soon, if he wishes to stop that calamity, there is one more thing he need do before his return. He walks slowly, blood pooling from each wound, cursing his weakness. If he were more than a shadow, he would be able to do this quickly and be at Rin's side before an hour. But in his condition, he wonders if that is at all possible. Such weakness galls at him more than he'd admit. Such is the condition of a mere shadow.

* * *

Though the youth weighs far more than her sword, she feels not his weight as she rushes toward the Emiya residence and lays him on a cot. His body is heating up against her skin, his breathing growing more ragged, and though she tries to make him comfortable, Shirou groans in his sleep, eyes twisting and brow furrowing as he groans, his voice murmuring with pain and anguish.

"No..." he whispers. "No... please... stop... don't!"

His body is heavy with sweat, giving him a glistening sheen and Saber can do not but watch over him, laying a wet rag on his brow to cool him a little as she sits next to him, waiting for him to break from the nightmare he has fallen into. A nightmare of her doing. She knows of the bonds that master and servant share with one another and her memories and experiences have become so twisted that Shirou has been drawn into them as well. Into her hell that experienced during those ten years.

"Shirou..." she says, trying to shake him awake, "wake up! It's just a dream! Shirou!"

But despite her insistence, pushing at his body, the young man remains asleep. Moaning and crying, begging for mercy. Something more has him drawn in, holding him in place so he can not wake as like a fever. She bites her knuckles. What can she do? She is a warrior, not a healer. This is beyond her skills.

She'd like to call his guardian or that meek purple haired woman. Either might have more idea of what to do with an ailed one than she. Has this happened to him before? If she had knowledge... she laughs bitterly. The only thing that would happen with the duo is more pointless worrying where none have the answers. No doubt what happens with Shirou is not of natural afflictions, so what can she do that another can not?

"Shirou..." she whispers, voice quivering. "What can I do?"

She hears the door slide open with a bang, feeling the presence of another servant drawing near. She draws forth excalibur morgan, taking hold of it as she stands to place herself between whatever assailant comes and Shirou. She wonders if perhaps it is her master's weakness that has drawn one here, but then, why does the energy feel so... weak? As she hears the drip of blood on the floor, she glances towards the figure that approaches and lowers her sword, recognizing him.

She sighs, her eyes narrowing. "Shirou... why are you here?"

The red archer narrows his eyes and grimaces.

"You should know why," he says. "To wake him from the nightmare that consumes him."

She looks towards Shirou's aged self, considering her options, but seeing her options limited as they are, she nods. If there is something he can do that she can not then he is more than free to try. If it'll wake him from the horrors he is experiencing, then she'll accept whatever aide is given.

"Do it."

"By your leave, my king," he says as he passes her. She stares wide eyed at the man as he kneels next to the youth and wonders, exactly what transpired to cause such a change in him? What made him this being before her? Or is it what transpires right before her?

She clenches her fist, looking away from the pair towards the outside world, the darkened skies above, thinking on that chalice which spilled malevolent contents that enveloped her, consumed her entire being and yet, she thinks, she needs to attain that horrid device. For only through it can she avoid not only her wretched fate which cursed her people, but Shirou's as well. Her hands clench into fist, shaking with anger at her bitter weakness. She must attain the grail and undo all this madness. For everyone's sake.

* * *

He steps forward in a dark auditorium, the building lit only by the golden man with portals for his blades facing a woman in blue armor who Shirou recognizes, but looks so different from what she does now.

"Saber?" he whispers in confusion. Why does she look so different? What is this place? It doesn't look like it's from the past.

"Saber," a hard voice calls from the catwalk above and Shirou looks towards it, his eyes widening as he sees the shadow of the man he's always revered walking along that metal bridge, raising his fist in the air.

"By my final command, I command you to destroy the grail!"

"Master?!" he hears Saber's voice sound, broken and betrayed, screaming as she's forced to turn towards the center of the stage where on a raised dais is a cup that glows most splendidly. With how brilliant it is, Shirou is surprised he missed it. That is the grail that Saber wishes to attain, he thinks? The device which will let her have her wish? But then... why is his father... making her destroy it?

He sees Saber's sword swing down with the full force of the brilliant sword in her grasp, the cup split in half, splashing on Saber's face, seeming to burn as she screams horribly. But as he watches, as he hears her scream, his vision distorts and it is he who is screaming, he who is feeling the liquid of the grail wash over him, covering his skin in its filth, burning... always burning, like it's on fire. Even as he struggles, he is watching his father... his father with an impassive face gaze down at him, before simply turning away and walking off... in burning flames? But... this place... it wasn't burning before then...

Shirou raises his hand, trembling, trying to cry out for this man he's known for so long even as more of that liquid filth begins to pour into his mouth. More of it begins to push down his throat, scalding and hot, choking him. The pain he feels is unimaginable. He is screaming even though no sound will come out, trying to pull away even though his arms are bound by fingers that melt his flesh. And through it all, he watches as the stadium lights aflame, debris falling upon his being, burying him under its weight. If only... if only it would kill him and stop this horrid pain he feels. He can't... why can't... why can't he breathe? Why?...

He shuts his eyes, the tears scalding at his eyes, feeling thick with blood. His father... his father caused all of this. Why?

* * *

Archer looks down at his own prone body from so many years prior, the sweat beading down the young man's forehead and covering his body, the body he once had back when he had hope and belief, back before all of that was crushed at this very moment. He sighs in resignation. What is done can not be undone, but what may be can yet be changed or.. So he hopes.

He glances once towards Saber, her dark form tensed, fingers curled and clenched tightly into fist. He wonders, does she still long for the grail? That abomination that hurt her so and twisted fate as such?

"Shirou..." he says, leaning forward. "You must save her. If no one else, you must save Saber. Now... wake up!"

He presses his hands on Shirou's shoulder, looking into the body where circuits that have been unused and misfire lie dormant or sparking eradically, causing Shirou's condition, a condition that may only be undone by properly opening those circuits. He digs his fingers on Shirou's shoulder, focusing on those circuits, directing the flow of mana so they may properly open. A fire that rushes from his finger tips into the younger man's shoulder and throughout his frame, running through flesh quickly quickly in a sudden wash as the dams open and that energy floods the young man's body.

"Shirou...," he repeats, "wake up!"

* * *

"Father!" he screams through a tear strained voice, his voice feeling hoarse and strained after all the screaming and crying he has done and yet, it is all he can do in this horror, call out to the one being he knows who should be trying to help him. His adoptive father, Kiritsugu Emiya. "Stop! Stooop this, Father! Father, save me!"

His father stands silently behind the masses, glaring at him with a cold eye as several people look towards him, all of them yelling, fist pounding into the sky, calling for his blood. They hold him tied to a post, bound and stripped of all his garments as dried brush and wood is laid around him and the flames of their torches are set upon it, lighting the fires that will consume his flesh alive. Faces he can not recognize, but yet, he does. A tall knight of a feminine look in white armor screaming at him about betrayals. Another with hair as pitch at black in armor that pulses with steam and even a woman of fairest beauty, her features twisted so she looks like a monstrous hag. All these people, beings he does not know, surround him, calling for his blood. These are people he does not know... but she does. Saber does. Or did.

As the flames lick at his legs and arms, whipping at his hips, he cries out his father's name, searching for his face among all the twisted grins and snarls that surround him and yet, his father's countenance is the worst of all. A smiling drooling thing, dripping blood and flame even as those same flames consume Shirou's body. He struggles, pulling at the bonds, wondering if this is how Saber died initially, or was it the headman's axe that came down on him, or was it when he was tied down and gutted as a fish? Already, he's experienced so many horrors and he can't distinguish one from the other. They all come one after another, blurring together into a mass of pain and darkness, twisting at his mind and tearing at his being. Always, people from Saber's life are hurting him and always, there in the background is his father, looking on, smiling malevolently. Even as the fires tear at his flesh, his father looks on, grinning and laughing. Even as those fires eat at Shirou's insides and tear him apart, Kiritsugu simply looks on with glee. He's simply watching. Watching... and the smile of that man that he once looked upon with hope and love becomes a thing that terrifies him even as he calls out that man's name for salvation. Even as his body burns...

Shirou wakens suddenly with a jerk, pulling away from the hands that were touching him, a cry ripping away from his lips. It won't stop. He can't stop screaming. All he can recall is the pain, the burning and tearing of his flesh and his father... looking on, with not a care in the world. As if Shirou's torture amused him. Not until Shirou feels hands at his shoulders, shaking him and he can look on that face, that pale skin and those amber eyes that stare at him with worry does he lean forward, wrapping his arms around that being and begins to sob. Never. He never wants to see that man's face again. Ever.


	13. Chapter 13 - Deeper down the rabbit hole

Shirou carefully lifts the frame, looking at the picture of his younger self with his father in an embrace. The photo was taken a little bit before the old man passed. Happier times, back when he hoped for the future. But even then, Shirou could see the worn look on the old man's expression, how he'd been holding back the pain. Shirou's grip on the frame tightens, a tear forming at his eye.

He tries to recall the hope and peace from the image but can't seem to call it up. All he keeps hearing over and over is Kiritsugu's orders. The orders to split the grail open. The order that tore apart his family.

They'd just been settling in to dinner at that time, his father stern but fair, reading the paper and his mother, slowed by the weight of a new child, a daughter they were intending to call ... Miya he thinks? Maya? He supposes at this point it doesn't matter. He just recalls how his mother had been placing the roast at the table, calling him to come inside now that dinner was ready, smiling down at him with a tired but contented look and Shirou himself had been walking in to the house, commenting on how great the food was, about to unzip his jacket from a day of play when the earth erupted from beneath the table.

He hadn't even seen it. It had just been a slight rumbling then the floorboards had burst upwards, engulfing his parents in bright flames and blown him outwards into the muddy earth. His ears had rung with that vibrating sound, that echo holding even as the world around him grew hotter, the explosions beginning like a domino effect, ringing in his ears. So much fire. So much heat...

Followed by the screams...

Like the fire that burned at his legs and feet, lapping at his toes as Kiritsugu had stood there, grinning, the flames spilling from his lips as Shirou had burned, calling for his father's name...

Shirou gasp, the frame falling from his fingers, glass shattering and wood splintering on the floor. He simply stares, trembling, at the picture below. The image of that man's smile looking down at him in hope seems to have twisted into something of mad glee. Something that terrifies him and Shirou has to back away, his body trembling.

"No..." he whispers. "No..."

He hits something hard and immovable behind him and turns, almost screaming as he sees those amber eyes look upon, but relaxes remembering who it is. Saber looks on him with impassive eyes.

"They're just dreams, Shirou," she says quietly. "Don't let them affect you."

She walks past him, slowly bending down and picking up the photo, looking at it. She smiles, a half hearted thing as she studies the image.

"He looked like he cared for you. I remember him looking like this only when he looked at Irisviel or Illyasviel. Only then would he show anything coming close to friendliness."

"Irisviel..." he says. "So... my father... he had a family?"

Saber slowly puts down the photo on the stand.

"Yes. Once. That young girl with silver hair was his daughter."

"Girl with silver hair?" he says questioningly, for his mind to snap back, remembering the giant with the sword and the small girl tagging alongside it, seeming gleeful. "Th-that's Kiritsugu's daughter?!" he says, shaken. The girl had seemed cute but the coldness in her actions had left no doubt in his being as to what she was truly capable of. A being without mercy.

His fist shakes and he wonders what his father did, to abandon that girl and live with him all this time? What kind of monster was he to jump from one family to another like that? As if it were so easy like picking up a new cap.

"Kiritsugu..." he hisses. He...

But as Shirou is beginning to dwell on his anger, he notices Saber bending over, her breathing troubling her.

"Saber," he says, wrapping his arms around her shoulders. "What..."

She reacts suddenly, pushing him aside. As he hits the floor with a thud she stares, wide eyed.

"Master?! I..." she says, her hand drifting towards him before pulling away suddenly, her head lowering in shame. "I apologize. That was very uncouth of me. You only worry over my being and I give you not but bruises for your ministrations. I apologize for being such a worthless servant!"

He notices the glimmer of tears, but before he can say anything Saber is running out of the room. He tries to call out to her but grimaces, the pain in his shoulder still aching, his body still feeling worn.

As he rises to his feet, he finds himself leaning over the dresser, looking towards the photo Saber had laid back down on it.

"You really have left me in a fucked up mess, haven't you, Dad?" he says, a tear running down his cheek. He knows not if he cries for his father, for Saber or himself, only that... all he believed is falling apart before his very eyes and there's nothing he can do to stop it.

* * *

Why is he still here, Archer thinks, the pain at his left side eating away at him, tearing at his side. His younger self has wakened already and there is nothing more he can do here. So why does he still dwell in this place which is merely made up of old memories? As he holds his side, he is reminded he needs to get to Rin, not merely so he may try and prevent the future from coming to pass but because only she can help heal him at this point.

As he turns, ready to head out, there is a crash in the room to the left, the one where his younger self had moved off to.

"That's odd," he thinks. "What's going on there?"

He doesn't recall any situation where he'd had any kind of confrontation with Saber. Did something change in the time line for that to occur? He should check it out. As he heads in the direction of the room, there is the sudden thumping of the floor before him as a pale haired woman rushes out with her head bowed down, not looking where she's going. Too weakened to react properly, the small woman ends up bowling him over, her right knee striking his side where one of the wounds is, causing him to wince.

His body feels in anguish, but at once part of him feels excited to be so close to Saber, after so many years, having her warm living body against him is exhilerating. Still, this isn't the way he'd have liked it and when her hand accidentally jabs at his side he can barely contain a scream.

"Shirou!?" she says. "I... I am sorry! I shouldn't... I shouldn't be here. All I do is cause you pain!"

Oh, that's it, he thinks. As she rises to run out, he grips her wrist, holding it tight, letting her force help him up.

"No..." he says. "Don't leave."

"Saber?" says his younger self, walking out suddenly. "Did you call my name...?"

He sees the eyes of his young self wander low and he releases his grip on Saber's wrist, putting his hand to his side, hand clenching.

"Did something happen I don't know about?" says the young man quizzically.

"Nothing you need to worry about," says Archer, wincing once more as his ribs pain him. He really needs to return to Rin to see that looked into.

"You okay?" says his younger self, approaching him suddenly with concern. Archer steps back, shaking his head.

"It's nothing you need worry about. When I return to my master she'll be able to restore me with her mana."

He sees his younger self frowning at him and wonders what it is about.

"What is it?"

His younger self is silent for a moment before waving the question aside.

"It's nothing," he says. "I was just thinking on the mana transfer is all."

Why would that matter, he thinks, looking towards his younger self curiously. Feeding off the reserves from his master he should... then it dawns on him as he glances at Saber. Oh. That's why.

"Don't worry," he says. "Nothing lewd will happen. Most masters know how to transfer mana without requiring "that."

The red head frowns at him, crossing his arms but after a moment, nods.

"Yeah, yeah. Just don't go getting any ideas."

He smiles, a crooked thing that he barely manages.

"Of course."

"Hey... before you go... um... thanks. If not for you, that bastard probably would have gotten Saber and I. So... thanks."

"It's no concern. Just.. Keep her safe."

"My safety is not your concern!" Saber says scornfully.

Archer simply shakes his head.

"Yes, it is. It always has been."

His younger self simply stares at him more confused than before but he turns away, walking out.

"I'll see myself out. I need to return to Rin promptly before she begins to worry."

"Yeah.. You do that," says Shirou. "Tell her... sorry.. About the other day."

He gives the young man a curt nod before walking out. He hears Saber say something about seeing him out. Though he wishes to be out before she can stop his progress, the injuries he has keep him from anything more than a moderate walk. Something Saber easily manages to catch up to. As he steps out on the porch walk, she steps out with him.

"Archer..." she says quietly, "Shirou... why do you care for me so?"

He stops, considering his words.

"You are the last vestige of the world I had before it fell apart," he says. "And if I can not prevent the tragedy that is about to occur then you will need to be his anchor."

She grips his wrist, holding it tightly between her two palms.

"You should be that anchor, Archer. Not I. I am damaged. I..."

"You are what you need to be, Saber," he says in a stern voice. "You are stronger than what you think you are. For you are Altria Pendragon, king of knights. My.."

He stops himself before he can say more. He should not reveal too much. It may alter things too much if he does.

"I am your what?" she says, a confused look on her face.

"It is nothing. I need to return to Rin. Only a proper mage can prevent the situation I need to stop."

"Shirou..."

"Is not equipped to handle what needs to be taken care of. Not unless he knows how to break apart sigils."

"But he is prepared to handle the being making them. Unless you now doubt my abilities?" she says, glaring at him, her back rigid, trying to look as imposing as possible, which is not difficult with that black armor. Even without the visor, she is still a sight to behold.

"No, Saber," he says. "Of that I have no doubt. I..."

He is cut off as the woman presses her lips to his, an energy flowing through them, pushing into his body. Her tongue presses between his lips, exploring him before pulling back, leaving a percent of her mana with him, helping relieve the pain. She pulls away slowly, still cupping his cheek.

"To help with your journey," she says.

"Yes, my king," he says, bowing lightly. It is only as he is standing back up that he is regarding her wide eyes which tremble.

"King?" she says. He's said too much but at once he needs her to focus on something else.

"Be at the university tomorrow to handle the being that is about to set the barrier. I do not think I will be in a condition to be of much assistance. I'll try to make certain Rin is there to break down the sigils that Shinji has placed on there."

"Shinji?" she says. "That sniveling worm is a master?"

"Yes. Make certain you are at the school tomorrow to prevent the tragedy."

Saber sighs but nods in acceptance.

"It will be done."

He moves with a burst of energy, leaping into the sky. He wonders how much energy Saber gave him? He feels a lot better. His hand opening and closing, he grins and leaps forward, heading towards the Tohsaka residence. Perhaps there is a way to alter the future yet.

* * *

Though he should not, Shirou peaks over the edge of the hallway wall, watching as the two converse. The man in red is too far for him to hear what he or Saber say, that is until the man starts trying to convince Saber of her worth with him and how strong she is. He's not wrong, thinks Shirou, but why is he saying these things to Saber? What exactly is his connection to her? He is about to step out and ask when he sees the woman cup the other's face and bring him in for a kiss. A long one that last awhile.

Shirou pulls back, gritting his teeth as he thinks on what he just saw. He punches the wall with the back of his fist, angry at himself, at Saber, at the man... Why? He wonders, it's not like he knows either person, so he shouldn't be angry at them wanting to be together. It just... he thinks on what it's been like when Saber has kissed him, his fingers wandering to his lips subconsciously. Did that never mean anything to her then? It...

"Shirou," says her voice around the corner and he nearly bounces away, seeing her suddenly inches away from him.

"Uh... uh, Saber!" he gasp. "I..."

She shuts her eyes and lets out a long breath before boring into him with her amber eyes.

"We need to talk."

"About what?" he says half heartedly, thinking she's going to say something about leaving. Instead, what she says makes him lose track of any thoughts regarding her or the red servant. As she speaks, his heart seems to twist, his hands balling into fist as he grits his teeth.

"No! That's not possible!" he says. "I know Shinji is a little messed up but there's no way he'd do something like that! No way!"

"Regardless of what you think, we need to be ready. That man..."

"No," says Shirou. "I don't know anything about that guy in red, but Shinji..." He grits his teeth, tears brimming at the edges of his eyes. He thinks on the blue haired young man with mischievous eyes. Sure, he's something of a jerk and pushy, always trying to show off his authority, but there's no way he'd do something ... so... so depraved! "There's no way! It's a lie and I'm going to prove it."

"Where are you going?" she says as he walks past her.

"What do you think?!" he says, furious. "I'm going to see Shinji and get this affair sorted out!"

"Then I'm going with you," she says.

"No! You...mpf!"

Her hand clasp his face, his cheeks suddenly scraping against his jaws as he grips her wrist, all his anger disappearing in an instant as he is reminded of her strength.

"While you may think it is right to rush into something foolhardy," she says, "and you seem to do that no matter your age," she mutters, "I will not allow you to do something like this without me when the risk to you is so great. Understand?"

She releases him slowly, looking at him with strangely soft eyes, her lip almost trembling.

"As your servant it is my duty to protect you and I can not do that properly if I am not involved in decisions that may involve other masters."

He glares at her, fighting off the urge to rub at his pained cheeks. Though he wishes to push her out of the way, she stands firm before him. A small and dangerous living golem that stands immovable before him. He simply stares at her, daring her to do something but after a full minute of simply staring at one another he scratches his head and relents.

"Fine. But you can't really go out dressed like that," he says, pointing to her armor, which while he's gotten used to is very likely to frighten anyone else. "Sakura will get freaked out."

"Sakura?" says Saber, confused. "Was she one of the ones who was here earlier?"

"Yeah..." he says, "the one with purple hair."

"I see..." says Saber, looking away momentarily. "Do you have feelings for this woman?"

"Yeah," he says quietly. "She's... wait a minute. What do you mean feelings? She's just a friend! And you're one to talk.. Kissing that guy in red."

Saber cocks her head, a look of confusion crossing her features.

"Are.. You jealous, Master?" she says. She says that word after having called him by name for so long, it makes him irritated. He balls his hand into a fist wanting to punch her but lets the feeling fall away. Hitting her wouldn't do any good and besides, the one he really wants to punch is that man in red. The one who... came in when he nearly got gutted and saved his ass. He lets out a long sigh, feeling incredibly stupid.

"Maybe," he says. "Come on. Let's go."

"Very well," she says, the energy dispersing, leaving her in a black dress with ruffles, her shoulders bared and back bared down to her lower spine, his eyes finding themselves drawn to the curves of her body.

"Master?" a distant voice says. His eyes trace her curves, so much skin showing through that dress. Sakura may have curves but she's never showed them off like this. It drives so many thoughts through his head that...

Her mouth covers his, her tongue pushing into his mouth, pushing between his lips as hands that seem very warm cup the sides of his cheeks and he taste her, feels her as she plays with his tongue. But rather than be something simple and quick, she lingers, kissing his lips as well before invading his mouth once more and he feels himself weakening. What, he thinks. No, she's going to drain him. She...

She pulls away then, holding his arm, pulling it closely to her body almost intimately, keeping him balanced so the dizziness doesn't overtake him.

"If we are going to do this foolish act, then let us be done with it."

He shakes his head, trying to clear his thoughts.

"You.. Don't have other clothes, do you?" he says. Seen like this, the two will look like they're on a date.

"These are the clothes beneath my armor. And time is of the essence, unless you are judging this situation as one that has nothing of merit we should worry over?"

"Right," he says, sighing. "Let's go then."

He steps out with this woman still clinging to him and wonders... when did things suddenly become so confusing as they have?

* * *

At first, moving along the streets and bounding through the trees and rooftops had not been difficult, the energy Saber had given him giving Archer that extra boost he needed so he could move quickly. That was at first. But it soon becomes apparent the energy she gave him is only enough to let him get to the Tohsaka residence without keeling over. His quick jettison from the premise mixed with the feelings running through his head have sapped away at the energy she gave him and now he finds himself limping back to Rin's, his hand at his side where Saber had accidentally kneed him. Where the samurai had torn it open with his sword.

His ribs ache horribly, though he can feel Rin's mana beginning to push away some of that pain, her energies helping alleviate it as he walks onto the premise, making his way to her mansion, dragging his body to her. He raises a heavy hand to the door and knocks with two heavy thuds.

The sound seems to echo in his ears and he waits what seems an eternity before the door opens to reveal a very cross brunette with her arms crossed, scowling at him.

"Archer," she growls. "You have some explaining to do! You..."

But even as she is berating him, the extra energies he was given drain away, floating off into the ether and his consciousness seems to fade with it, the red of Tohsaka's sweater blurring as he becomes dizzy and falls over. He lands in light arms, his chin seeming to hit her rigid shoulder as he hears her screaming his name over and over. He wants to whisper to her that she needs to break the sigils. That the students at the university are in danger. But.. He is too weak. Everything is fading into blackness.

No... he thinks. Everything is going to happen anew and that catastrophe is going to happen again and he.. Can't stop it.

* * *

She shuts the door slowly, hearing it catch with a loud bang as she closes the wooden frame, Emiya's face on the other end. She watches the young man converse with his servant through the peep hole, for that is what the blonde woman is, Sakura thinks as she watches them speak before turning away and walking away from the residence.

The woman... Emiya's servant, looks stunning in her backless ensemble with her dark gloves and long flowing ruffles on her black dress. It is not truly a fitting attire for a servant but it is certainly eye catching. She wonders if he'd been on a date with the woman before coming over here? It certainly looks like it.

Sakura bites at her knuckles, fighting back tears that wish to come too quickly. Even against servants, she is no match. After all, look at her own former servant, rider, with her great massive chest and wide hips. How can someone as wispy as her ever catch a man's attention when she's constantly set face to face with competition that is so much more lovely? How...

"Who was that?" says a voice up at the top of the staircase. Sakura's eyes widen as she looks upon the thin frame of her older brother who looks down at her with a glare.

"No one," she says frantically, not wanting to let the young man know that Emiya-kun had been here with his servant. That Emiya was here because he was worried that Shinji was up to something, something that could be dangerous. Emiya had been evasive with his questions, not wanting to reveal too much, but the woman had said it had to do with the killers that had been targeting him and that he thought they may be targeting her and Shinji. She isn't certain why Emiya was being so evasive rather than asking flat out if she were a master, unless... he didn't know? But...

"That was Emiya, wasn't it," says Shinji, inches from her face. So lost in thought was she, she hadn't noticed when her brother had come down the stairs until he was right up in front of her. His eyes look like two dark orbs searching hers for any sign of deception. "What did he want?"

"Uh... n-nothing," she says. If Shinji found out that Emiya had a servant and was looking for him, then Shinji might target him and Emiya's life would be in danger. She couldn't allow that. Not when it's her fault that Shinji is in this war instead of herself. Not when...

The crack across her face is sudden, sending her to the floor.

"Why are you lying Sakura?" Shinji yells, his boot finding its way to her stomach. "You know I don't like when you lie to me! Why are you lying?"

Again and again, his foot crashes against her stomach, making her cough, the pain racing up her body in sharp burst but still, all she does is hold her body against the floor, lips quiet except for her pained cries. Though Shinji screams at her, she will not relent. She must... protect Emiya.

When his frustrations on her are spent, the young man turns away, pulling at his hair before letting his hands fall away.

"Fine, just be that way then!" he says. "It's not like Emiya knows anything. So he can't stop me! No one can stop me! And when everything is done, everyone who has ever ridiculed me or made fun of me will pay! No one will ever make fun of me again!"

Sakura simply stares up at the crazed look of her brother's body as he has his arms stretched out, almost as if he were imploring to god, his voice rising with each sentence that he shrieks. He's insane she thinks. Utterly insane.

"Emiya..." she whispers quietly, "be safe."


	14. Chapter 14 - the barrier

"After what you two did to Archer how dare you think I'll help you! So help me, God, Emiya, if I see you again I'm shooting a gander shot through your skull, you hear me?! Goodbye, Emiya."

The phone hits the receiver with a crash, banging loudly against Shirou's ear. He winces as he hears that crash and slowly puts the phone down with a click. Apparently the man in red had been unable to convey his worries to Tohsaka and had instead somehow managed to get them in trouble for his condition. A condition no doubt wrought by the samurai he'd fought that same night.

"I take it we will not be obtaining the assistance the other servant offered yesterday?" says Saber, arms crossed as she leans back against the wall, staring at him. Shirou lets his shoulders slump, letting out a long sigh.

"I guess not," he says, scratching his head. "Seems she's blaming us for "Archer's" injuries from last night."

"Archer?" says Saber, cocking an eye. "He's an archer class servant? Curious. I would have taken him for another saber class, what with his swordsmanship. I wonder how it is he falls under the classification of an archer?"

"Yeah..." says Shirou, thinking back to the night before. That was one of the remaining servant classes Saber had mentioned now properly accounted for. Something else is bugging him though, something that has nagged at him for the whole night. "Hey, Saber, I'd heard you calling that guy "Shirou," when you were speaking to him last night. Not Archer. Why is that?"

"You must have been mistaken, Emiya. I do not recall such matters."

"But..." says Shirou, suddenly confused. "I swear you..."

"We have other matters of which to attend," she says. "So shall we?"

Shirou looks towards the woman, dressed in his school uniform that hugs her form tightly, a sour expression on her face and he nods. She's trying to avoid talking about what happened last night, but he still can't get it out of his head that she was kissing that man. And the fact that she's trying to avoid the fact that she called him "Shirou" is bothering him too. Why doesn't she want to admit to that? He knows she called him Shirou, he's certain of it. So why deny it?

It's a matter he'll have to push aside for later as Saber is out the door before he's even put his thoughts together, he having to bounce around while putting his shoes on, trying to keep sight of her. If only things in life were easy. Too bad he's never had that kind of luck. Now he has to deal with something else. Namely the possibility that Shinji Matou might have organized the massacre of the school, but that's such a ridiculous notion, isn't it? No way he'd do something like that even if he were involved with the grail, right? He hopes to god this is all a wild goose chase and nothing comes of it, but there is still that niggling fear that maybe Saber is right and Shirou has just been ignoring what has been right in front of him all this time, and that worries him more.

Though he walks alongside her, Saber seems resistant to say anything more on the subject of Archer, and he does not push her on the matter, though he wishes to speak to her about it. Maybe it really is his imagination and he just thought she said "Shirou?" But then, there is still that kiss to think about, he thinks, his fist clenching in his pockets. He knows he shouldn't care, but for some reason it galls at him. He thinks, maybe... he's starting to like Saber.

He glances over to his right, looking over at the frightening woman who walks by his side, her body tensed, ready for action. He sighs, shaking his head. Does she really think Shinji is capable of pulling off something as serious as that Archer said? Nah, he thinks, shaking his head. No doubt they're just words to make her drop her guard around him. That has to be it, they're just lies. But then... he can't shake the fact the man came between them and the assassin to save Saber. Just what is his connection to her? It...

As he passes the university gate, a sudden pressure slams into his body seeming to stop his heart. He hadn't even focused on how far they'd come along in reaching the school grounds until this pressure hit him. He stares wide eyed, mouth suddenly feeling dry as he stares, sweat beginning to run down his brow. It's like a terrible weight trying to push him down and crush him.

"Damn it," he hears Saber whisper, already drawing her weapon, her armor materializing on her body as Shirou's uniform is torn away from her body as the armor appears. "It's started already!"

"Saber..." he says. "What is this? Why does it feel like something is clenching at my chest like this?"

She regards him momentarily, staring from behind her dark visor.

"You remember how servants need energy? One of the ways a master may power a servant is offering the life energies of civilians. This barrier that is surrounding your university is meant to suck the life of all those within not involved in the war. He's powering up his servant!"

"What?!" says Shirou, fist clenching. "How could he do that?! How can he throw other people's lives away so carelessly! It's like ... he doesn't care..."

An image of purple blossom hair and vibrant eyes with a soft smile enters his mind's eye and Shirou's heart sinks.

"Sakura..." he whispers.

"Sakura," says Saber. "Isn't she the one from yester..."

Shirou bolts foreward, his feet beating on the pavement as he races towards the school, heart pumping hard as his fist push against the air. He thinks on that sweet young girl who has always supported him and then on her brother with those wicked eyes and malicious grin and all of sudden it starts to clear in his mind's eye. But it can't be possible, he thinks. He'd never choose the university! Not the one his own sister is attending! What kind of madman would do such a thing? But if what Saber says is true and that pressure seems to confirm that notion then everyone in this school is going to die, including Sakura. Unless he finds her, Shinji is going to kill her!

"Sakura," he whispers, "just hold on!"

* * *

Rin dabs a wet cloth on the dark skinned man's forehead, moving back his hair from his forehead which sticks to his brow as he moans on the bed. She pats his head, looking him over. Archer is an annoying enigma, she thinks and when he'd first arrived and he'd stared at her, it had seemed he recognized her. How that would be possible is beyond her, but that idea was soon dismissed as he'd spoken and questioned her. It had probably just been a trick of her eyes, she thinks. He didn't recognize her at all. How could he? He's a servant of legend from some unknown time that...

She narrows her eyes, squinting at the man. That is odd, she thinks, looking on his resting form. With his hair matted down from sweat due to the condition that bastard and his servant left Archer in she'd swear he has an appearance similar to him. Similar to... Shirou! But that's impossible! There's no way this man can have any relation to Shirou. That would just be...

Archer's eyes snap open and he rises from the bed suddenly, sitting up. He looks around the room, regarding his surroundings as if confused. Staring out the window, he gasp and throws the covers off, intending to stand when he nearly topples over.

"Archer!" she yells, rushing over to him, gripping him under the arm as she lays him back down on bed. "Seriously, when I became a master I never thought I'd be a nanny to some grown ass fool that's twice my age! Like seriously!"

"Rin..." he says, his voice seeming weak even as close as he is to her. "You have to get to the university. You have to..."

She lays him back down on the bed, pushing him down.

"Archer, what are you talking about? The university is fine. You just need to rest and recover your strength so..."

"No!" says Archer, rising suddenly. "Everyone is in danger! Shinji... gehn..."

He hunches over as he lays back down, gripping his side which pains him. She'd seen it earlier as she was tending him, slashed by a long bladed weapon. No doubt Shirou's dark servant. She narrows her eyes and glares at her servant.

"You're in no condition to go anywhere," says Rin. "You just need to rest and..."

"No, Rin," he says, pushing her hands away. "Shinji Matou.. He's going to kill everyone!"

"What?!" she says, staring at the man disbelieving. This is sounding oddly like what Shirou was trying to convey to her earlier in the morning over the telephone. "What are you talking about? There's no way that..."

"He's placing a barrier field around the school to drain everyone's life force!" he says. "You have to... ghn..."

She holds the man as he tries to sit up once more. She can only try and help him recover with the mana she's passing to him, but she wonders if in his current condition that will be enough? He seems particularly weak. She narrows her eyes, teeth grit. She doesn't really want to consider the "other" alternative to restore his mana, but she may not have a choice. Still, if what Archer is saying is true... then there's no time for that.

"Fuck," she whispers as she lays him back down. He tries to rise once more and she pushes him back, placing her hands on his shoulders.

"You stay here," she says, "that's an order!"

The man's eyes widen, and Rin groans as she realizes one of her seals has just burned off from her skin. Archer stares at her, wide eyed and shaking.

"Rin... what have you done?"

"Just.. Just stay here until I come back! I'll see what's going on at the school and if I need you, I'll just call you with this," she says, holding up her wrist to show her command seals. "So... so you just rest here until I get back!"

She turns around and begins stomping down the stairs, beating down them as she rushes out to the university, Archer calling her name. She ignores his pleading voice, grabbing her jacket on the way out. She'd intended on taking the day off until Archer was well, but if what he says is true, then this situation will take priority. But at least that bastard, Shirou, will be watching her back if she can go by his phone call, or so she hopes! At least if what he said is true. God, she hopes it is, because otherwise she'll need to use her last command seal to summon Archer and that will be the end of her role as master.

Why, she thinks, why is everything turning out this way?! She grits her teeth, feet beating down the pavement. There is no longer time to think, only act. After all, it is her duty as a Tohsaka to win the holy grail, so she has no choice. It's her duty, for her father... and for her sister, the one abandoned so many years ago in the care of the Matou's. The one who should have been in this war. But if Shinji is a master instead of Sakura then god help them all.


	15. Chapter 15 - Hard Choices

Shirou's body slams into the university door, nearly barreling him over as he goes through the doors easily. He doesn't think on it. Sweat runs down his brow as he yells her name, worry taking priority over his well being.

"Sakura!" he screams.

When there is no reply, his feet beat upon the stairs, running up the length of the stairwell. His heart races, breathing coming out hard and ragged, sweat running down his brow, that ever oppressive feeling always weighing down on his body and still he pushes on. He has to. If Sakura is in danger he'll never forgive himself.

As he clears the top of the stairs he nearly steps on the body of a young woman in uniform passed out on the floor.

"What the hell?" he chokes.

Taking a breath, he slows and leans down, touching her pulse. It is faint, her breathing coming out in a ragged gasp. It sounds as if she is having trouble taking in air. Fuck, he thinks, did Shinji really do this? Is he responsible for this horror? He needs to get this woman out before she dies. As he feels that dark presence reach him, he turns, regarding his servant in dark armor.

"Saber, take her outside, away from the field. I still need to look for Sakura."

"We don't have time, Shirou," says Saber, her voice seeming cold and callous.

"What do you mean we don't have time?!" says Shirou, his hands curling into fist. "If we don't do anything then she's going to die!"

"So is Sakura and any other friends you have like that young man you spoke to who goes to the temple."

Shirou stares wide eyed. Issei, he mouths. Issei is here too and so is... Fujine! How is he going to rescue everyone when the barrier is actively draining them? Even as he says it he feels a great pressure on his own body as if he himself is being drained.

"You have to make a choice, Shirou," says Saber coldly. "This girl, or Sakura or one of your other friends. I do not believe we will have the opportunity to rescue more than one. Hurry and decide. A servant is near and it seems they're gathering the energy from these beings. If we do not hurry, they will all die. Your friends included."

Shirou listens to her, his mouth dry, eyes going wide as his heart seems to stop. He has to choose? Not only can he not save everyone, but he has to choose amongst his friends too? People are going to die and he can't stop it?! Fighting back tears, he screams at the being before him.

"That's not fair! How can you ask me to choose one life over another? What kind of monster..."

The crack across his face stuns him. It is light for what Saber can do, but enough to bring Shirou back to his senses.

"Decide, Shirou," she says. "Now you have a decision to make. To whom will you be a hero and who will you damn? It is unfair, but life is cruel and unkind. As a hero, this is part of the consequences of such acts you must bare. There is no choice in such matters. You can not save everyone. That is reality. Now make your choice before they are all damned. Save one or save none at all."

His body is shaking, trembling with rage, sadness and ... helplessness. As he stares at that girl on the ground, her hair spread around her head, a sheen of sweat on her brow as her chest struggles to rise and fall, he thinks back to the fire where others were trying to help everyone around him and he was too weak to do anything. So he saved himself, vowing to help others when he could. And now... the same situation is placed before him, where people he knew and people he does not, will die because of his lack! It's not fair! And yet, as he looks at that stone figure before him, he thinks, she is correct. He has to make a choice if he wants to save anyone.

He gives one last glance towards the woman splayed out on the floor, fighting back his tears and turns his back on her, running down the hall.

"I'm sorry," he mouths. "I'm sorry!"

* * *

Saber stares at her master's receding form and looks down at the girl struggling to live. She frowns. Though she understands the boy's decision, it does not make the choice any easier. All lives are precious and yet, much as with Camlann... no, much as her entire rule, lives must be prioritized over others. That is the law of survival and nothing can usurp it.

She withdraws her blade, lifting it over the woman's heart. She can not save her, she can only ease the her suffering. A bitter tear runs down her cheek.

"Go in peace, child," she whispers.

The blade comes down, crunching in bone. The woman's eyes snap open, her mouth opening wide as she glances towards Saber, a tear forming in her eye as she lifts a trembling hand towards her before that hand falls back, the girl's head turning to the side, the being now broken.

Saber withdraws her blade, the shunkt of flesh being torn bringing her no joy. She shudders, hating herself, her body trembling in rage and sadness. How she'd wish to shove this blade through her own body, but she steels herself. She needs the grail...

Once that is achieved this misstep can be erased and these lives can be saved. Then...

"My. My," says a voice filled with mirth before her. "How very cruel of you, Saber. Killing a helpless innocent right before you."

She raises her head, looking towards the shrouded figure of a woman before her. Dressed in a fine cloak and dress, Saber can only see the woman's twisted smile. She recognizes such looks, remembers it too well from a woman she once knew. Morgan La Faye. This being has the same aura as she which can mean only one thing.

"Caster!" she hisses. "This is your doing, isn't it?!"

The woman shakes her head, still grinning.

"No, but I will take advantage of this situation and divert a certain amount of the energy towards myself. And in the meantime..."

The woman glides towards her, hand caressing her cheek.

"I'll watch how you perform, my dear dark knight."

Saber thrust her sword instinctively forward, the feel of the woman's fingers sickening to her.

"Rot in hell, bitch," she snarls.

The woman simply chuckles, raising her head in laughter, even as her body disappears in ash.

"My, what a cruel, cruel woman you are. It will be.. Enjoyable to watch you struggle... Saber."

Even as the figure disappears, figures rise from the floor before her. Twisted beings of bone and sinew, with no face but made of claws and teeth to rend and rip flesh.

Saber grips her blade tightly, steeling herself. This is what she is made to do, why she was born, to engage in battle. To purge the earth of the darkness that consumes it. This is her truth. Her pride as a knight. And now duty calls upon her once more, so she answers that call with a scream of righteous fury, rushing towards her slobbering enemy as she does so. It is why she is here.

* * *

Shirou runs, blocking the tears that begin to run down his eyes. He doesn't want to hear it anymore. Saber's voice, that girl's gasp, or anything... Damn this stupid war and everything involved with it! Why is this all happening again when he can't do anything about it? Why, after all these years, is he still no better than the boy of ten walking through a field of corpses? It's just... not fair!

As he runs, he has to slide to a stop, nearly toppling over as he almost passes the class he knows Sakura attends. He looks inside the classroom, his face paling at the sight. Bodies lie strewn over the floor or toppled over in their seats or over desk as if some contagion had hit. It makes his heart race, his fist shaking as he searches the bodies for one in particular. After a small moment of searching he finds her. Prone on the floor, splayed like the girl out front, having fallen from her seat when whatever happened... happened. But not just her. Other students he knows are also fallen over, seeming to struggle to move, including a certain figure at the back, still seated, his neck arched back as he breathes raggedly, glasses askew on his face.

"Issei..." Shirou whispers, blinking out the tears from his eyes. He clenches his fist, gritting his teeth, the tears flooding his eyes. He wants to do something for him as well, but Saber says he only has time to try and chance one rescue. Not several.

Damn it, damn it all! Does he really have to choose between his friends like this? There has to be some other way to do this! Some way to save everyone! Isn't there...?

But even as he is thinking this, he is leaning down, placing fingers against Sakura's neck to find her pulse. Wether he can do anything at this point for everyone or not, he must get Sakura away from this place, if nothing else.

She gasp slowly. Her breathing is hard and ragged, her heart rate slow, but steady. She's still alive, like the others, but just barely. Damn it!

He takes her arm, swinging it over his shoulder, putting her weight atop his body. It is surprisingly heavy and he groans with the strain.

"Geez, Sakura," he whispers. "You need to lose some weight."

"Sen..pai..." she whispers, before the moans become pained things once more. He grits his teeth, placing his hands against her thighs to lift her up properly, arms placed over his neck, she instinctively grabbing him more tightly.

"That's good, Sakura," he whispers slowly. "Just.. . hold on tight. I'm getting you out of here. You're going to be safe!"

He feels something wet against the back of his neck as Sakura moves her face and he hopes it's just tears and not something worse. At this point, he can't check. Saber is right, he needs to get her out of here before her condition worsens.

He gives one last glance to the back of the classroom, towards Issei, who mumbles incoherently. He grits his teeth, eyes squeezing shut to block away tears and turns away sharply, exiting the classroom.

"Alright, Saber," he says. "I've got Sakura! Let's..."

His eyes widen as a creature rises from the floor, skeletal in nature, the thing seeming to grow right before him, mouth gaping wide as fangs drool with saliva, leaning towards him, its shadow looming over him. Shirou begins to shake, still holding Sakura as he stares at the ever growing creature, his heart racing through his chest.

"Wh-what the hell is this thing?!"

The creature lets out a loud bellow, the sound echoing through the floor as windows shatter. Shirou stares, frozen in place as the thing leans back, its maw splitting open to engulf him whole and he can only wait, wait for the inevitable as the creature lunges towards him. Sakura, he thinks, I'm sorry!

As teeth are about to sink into his flesh, bone suddenly shatters as a dark blade flashes before him, its eerie red glow drawing his eyes. He looks towards his servant, that dark woman whose blade cuts down the massive beast in a single strike, slowly straightening her body as she glances towards him and Shirou feels his heart skip a beat. Never has he been so glad to see her.

"We have to go," she says.

"Right," he says, when both she and he turn, their attention drawn by a loud scream from the room at the end of the hall as a figure falls, stumbling in fear from the door way, kicking wildly as he looks towards the both of them with wide terrified eyes.

Shirou's hands tighten around Sakura's legs, his eyes narrowing as he glares at the sloppy mess of his former friend. The being responsible for this atrocity who has put all their lives on the line.

"Shinji, you bastard! Get out here now!"

Shirou stares, hearing as his servant readies her blade.

"Your orders, master?" she says.

"Just wait," he says, quietly. "If we can't reason with him, then..."

Thoughts of the young man with his smug grin and how he'd chat with Shirou, always being there by school to strike conversation run through his head. But then so do thoughts of Issei, who lies barely breathing in the classroom behind him, and Sakura, whose shallow breathing reveals Shinji's malcontent to Shirou. How their very lives are at risk even as he speaks, potentially snuffed by the cowering individual at the end of the hall. His choice made, Shirou speaks his mind.

"If he won't drop the barrier," says Shirou, "then do what you have to so we can end this."


	16. Chapter 16 -Failure of a Boy's Dream

It had all been going according to plan, he thinks, the sweat dribbling down his brow, curly hair obscuring his view as his heart races, watching the thing before him rises from the floor. He can only wonder... why?

He and Rider had set up the sigals throughout the school where only mages like Rin Tohsaka could detect them and with his superior skill and intellect, no one would be able to stop them! After all, even with someone as pretty as Tohsaka, there's no way she'd be able to challenge or interfere with his greatness, Shinji thinks. Her beauty was only skin deep, he'd found, when he'd tried to make an alliance with her and she'd brushed him off. No, not just brushed him off, but actually decked him like some kind of brute! Acting more like she'd expect Emiya than any woman. Just a bitch in high heels trying to grind him beneath her boots. To hell with her! She'd just join the rest. Or so he'd thought. So then... why is this happening?

How... how did that bitch make this happen? How... how did she turn his own plans against him? There's no way! No way! His plans were full proof!

Even now, as Rider battles the creatures coming out from the floor below, she struggles with bringing them down. Skinless aberrations made up only of bones with claws and teeth that should not be able to move, eating the mana that's supposed to be for "his" servant. For Rider!

He looks towards his servant, that woman with silky violet hair who struggles in taking down these beasts. She's pretty, but she's worthless to a magus like him! God damnit, he thinks, hands curled in fist even as his knees wobble, shaking so that they're smacking against one another while Rider glistens with sweat, tearing through the monsters that rise from the floor. But she's struggling, he thinks, otherwise she wouldn't be sweating like this or nearly letting these monsters get to him! Even as he thinks this, another great beast rises, its mouth wide, ready to engulf him whole and he screams, backing away, falling in a humiliating fashion back on his rear, losing any decorum or pride he should have. Damn it! Why is this happening?! It isn't fair!

"Shinji," he hears a voice yell to his left. One that is too familiar and grates at his senses. He turns slowly to regard that voice, anger rising as his fears are confirmed.

There, before him, at the end of the hall, is that red headed do gooder punk that had been walking around with that blonde bim...

"Holy shit!" he yells, crawling back to the wall as he sees Shirou's servant slip next to him, adorned in ungodly dark armor reminiscent of those things, glaring at him from a single red slit in the helmet. "What the fuck is that?!" he yells, pointing at the dark figure who casually bats away one of the skeletal beast with barely any effort.

"That's Saber," says Emiya, a frown on his face as he regards Shinji. "My servant."

"Y-your servant?!" Shinji yells, his anger at the situation allowing him the strength to stand back up on his two feet. He glares at the woman before him, the blonde whore from early yesterday who'd mocked him in broad daylight. This is her? Really, he thinks? So fearsome and strong, not even batting an eyebrow at these things Tohsaka has called up. So unlike his own worthless servant, who still struggles with the creatures in the classroom.

"Shinji!" Emiya yells. "You're going to undo these sigils and stop hurting everyone!"

The gleam in Emiya's eyes, that glare of pure and unadulterated hatred. It matches Shinji's own. Emiya had always been the special one. Always been the favorite. Everyone's favorite. No one would regard him without his money. They were all using him! Taking him for what he is worth. But Emiya... Everyone always turned to Emiya. Emiya is so sweet and kind! Emiya will always help you out of a pinch! Emiya will always help everyone, except him...

Shinji glares, grinding his teeth, his fist shaking with anger.

"Fuck you, Emiya! I'm not doing shit! Rider!" he barks, his fear forgotten in blinding rage. "Get out here and squash Emiya's stupid bug of a servant! Show me you're not a useless pile of shit!"

"As you wish," says Rider, sidling out of the class as if she'd just been doing her nails. He wonders if that's really what she'd been doing? If that's why he'd almost been mauled more than once by those... creatures? The worthless whore. Leaving him out here to get impaled by that witch while she watches. Well.. Whatever. He'll punish her when they get home. For now, she needs to get rid of Emiya's servant. He'll prove once and for all, no one can push Shinji Matou around! Not anyone! Especially not Shirou Emiya.

* * *

Saber levels her sword towards the opponent before her, a cowardly being with scraggly blue hair and a wiry frame. He stares at her with grit teeth and twitching eyes, his being shaking with rage, wanting to hurt her but being too weak to do so. She knows the type. Cowards who hide behind their subordinates because they are too pathetic to pick up the blade and face danger themselves. A despicable lot. She knows her master has feelings for this individual, but she is also aware he needs to be put this being down quickly so they may end this war. How hard Shirou's face is right now tells her his feelings towards the individual are changing and he is only holding back due to a chance he may reason. A foolish thing, so why is Saber halting, wanting to give the fool the chance?

That chance seems to close, however; when the svelte figure of Rider shows, her uniform seeming more at home at a burlesque house than at any arena of battle, but Saber keeps herself ready lest she be deceived into dropping her guard and thus leaving herself open to an attack. An attack that comes promptly when the craven master orders the woman to attack. If not for being prepared for it, she is certain the attack would have taken her head. As is, the metal spike which the servant draws, pushes against her blade, Excalibur Morgan's red edge scraping as the woman's spike lashes out toward Saber's visor. Saber pushes back against the attack only for it to press against her once more. Strike after strike from the simple weapon pushing her back and she having to push Shirou back with her body lest she leave him open by accident and let a stray blow rend his head from his shoulders. Not that the young fool seems to notice.

"Saber, watch it!" he yells, as her hip thrust against him once more, pushing him back another step, half stumbling with the weight of that woman on top of him.

"I'm trying, Shirou," she says, diverting another attack towards the side. "But she's pressing me back!"

And that very fact galls at Saber, she thinks, placing herself before the young man who'd most assuredly step out before her. She manages to keep him behind her due to his having to give mind to the young woman on his shoulders but with both of them driven back to the end of the hallway, she is left without maneuverability.

"It's the end of the line, Emiya!" the cowardly figure at the other end of the hall yells, his fist clenched in victory as his eyes shine with malice. "You lose!"

"No, Shinji," Shirou yells, somehow stepping out in front of her, a storming fire in his eyes. "We'll never give in to someone like you!"

Saber stares at her master, glaring at him with a dark stare as if looking at him for the first time. Has he really always been this stubborn? It reminds her of...

She shakes her head, the flash of her old self overlaid over the young man making her quiver and lose concentration. No. Now is not the time for that. Now is not...

Rider's spike is driving itself towards Shirou, the point about to drive itself into his left eye. Saber moves to push him aside but know the action will be too late with Rider's speed. Why wasn't she paying attention? Why...

Something rises from the floor intercepting the blow. Bone crunches and Shirou is pushed back against her, smashing her against the wall, the young woman groaning as the impact hits them with a brutal force. How... thinks Saber. What...

The wiry master's craven cry makes both she and Shirou's heads snap forward, watching as more of the bone like minions of Caster rise from the floor, placing themselves between Saber and rider, effectively separating the two. That and her master's cry has driven rider back towards the other end of the hall, the legion of beasts separating the two of them from battle.

"Rider! I thought you got rid of these things?!" the fool master screams.

Rider does not answer, instead standing herself straight, leveling the pointed spike towards her neck. Saber narrows her eyes, slashing at the closest beasts in her way, wondering what it is the rider is up to, when the spike is driven into Rider's own neck, splashing the walls with bloody rain.

"Rider-!" the craven begins to yell when Shirou's own words override the other's voice.

"Saber! What the hell is she doing?! Why did she-?"

There is a flash of light and Saber's eyes widen for a moment, recognition dawning on her as to what has been done. She releases her hold on the energies to her sword, instead focusing on gripping Shirou's arm, pulling him to the left to hug the furthest wall when there is a sudden burning explosion, the force of which nearly drives her out of the building and she finds herself holding on to the edge of a gaping hole with one arm, just barely holding on to Shirou one handed as he holds to the young woman in purple. Shit, she thinks. They're too high up. If he doesn't let go he's going to fall and cripple himself and as she pulls, his jacket is slipping, the threads of the sleeve tearing.

"Shirou," she yells. "You have to let go! I can't hold on to the both of you!"

"What?!" says Shirou, dumbfounded. "I can't! If I let go, Sakura will fall!"

"If you don't, both of you will fall!"

She sees it dawning on him, his eyes widening and the sudden denial of her words as he turns away. If he doesn't let go he may cripple himself or worse and the girl may still die and if he lets go, there's little doubt the fall will kill her. Either choice, the outcome is bleak and she can see it is already eating away him.

"Shirou!" she calls out. "Let go!"

"I can't!"

"You have to!"

"No," he says, his voice firm as he lifts his head, tears in his eyes as he tries to smile. "Just... let us go, Saber."

She stares, her mouth dry as her heart races. She stares at that young man, her chances at the grail and undoing all her errors including this one, slipping with the tearing of that stupid sleeve that she continues to try and pull up to get a proper grip on the young man and be able to pull him to safety.

"No..." she mutters. "No. It' can't happen this way. No..."

But even as she denies these words, his sleeve continues to tear...

* * *

She'd heard his voice. Heard him say that she'd be okay. It had sent a shiver of joy run through Sakura's being. It had felt as if her knight had come to save her as Emiya-senpai had come here to protect her when her own brother meant to kill her. It was so good to feel someone care for her. Even for a moment. So why... why couldn't it last?

She'd gripped Emiya's jacket tightly as he and his servant were pushed back by Rider and her brother. Through blurry eyes, she stares angrily at her brother. Why? Why did she let him goad her into giving up her command of Rider? This shouldn't be happening. Emiya should not be in danger because of her! This is her fault!

There is the flash. A moment where she sees Rider give her a sad glance as everything is airborne, moving slowly. There is no ground. No earth. Only sky, debris and Emiya falling with her. Then the black figure grips him and he grips her in turn, her weight pulling sharply, a cry coming from his lips. She swings over the edge of the building, swaying, looking up towards Emiya as his servant struggles to keep her hold on him, his sleeve tearing. She hears the servant tell to drop her or they may both be killed and hears the words she's longed for as he refuses, preferring to fall with her than let her fall to her death because of him.

She turns her head slowly, looking down. The floor is so far far away, too high for them to drop safely. It is dizzying to look at it, but either way, it is her fate. This is her fault after all. She could have prevented all of this and she didn't. This is her punishment for being too weak.

She smiles sadly. Her desire to be with Emiya and be chosen by him was only a dream after all, she thinks. Even when Emiya-senpai picks her, it is all for naught. At least, as awake as she is, she can make the choice on her own. She'll not have Emiya die for her sake. Not that. She'd never live with herself if that were the case. She turns towards him, tears running down her eyes as she makes her choice.

"Goodbye, Senpai..." she whispers to him.

He turns suddenly, his eyes wide with fear and shock when she pulls her hand from his sweaty palm, his hand swinging wildly as her fingers fall away from it. She sees the fear and sadness in his face even as his servant quickly corrects her hold on him and pulls him to safety. It is the last thing she sees before the image falls away and she hits the hard curb of the floor below, her neck snapping loudly against her ears. There is a sharp pain then ... only darkness.

* * *

Shirou turns his head as he hears her words, his heart stilling with a cold emptiness as he looks towards his long time childhood friend. Her purple hair blows brilliantly in the dawn sky as she looks up towards him with a soft smile, tears in her eyes, lips moving with her final words that he can not hear. That he refuses to hear.

No, he thinks, don't say that. I'll save you. I can do it. Just give me a chance! Please! He begs these things to a god who is not there even as the young woman pulls her arm down sharply, tearing herself away from a hold that was already tenuous at best. He grasp quickly at her, just brushing the tips of her fingers as she falls from his grip. He sees her fall as an angel towards the ground below, that smile on her face even as a strong arm pulls him upwards suddenly, away from her, pulling him tight against a hard embrace.

He tries to pull away, screaming that he has to save her, save Sakura, tears clouding his eyes. He has to save her! He has to! There is still time, he wants to scream, is screaming. His words are loud and filled with empty bravado even as he knows it is too late. He knows the falsity of his words, the empty hollowness of them even as Saber holds his body against hers, even as she keeps him from seeing the sight outside. That which he knows is out there. A thing that will be undeniable, that he can not unsee. And yet, he still fights against Saber's hold, even knowing what he will find. Even knowing that she is right in holding him at bay, he does not care. He must see it and confirm it with his own eyes. He has to because he can not handle being by this cold thing that can not feel. That only kills. That cares for nothing. That.. That...

The sharp and hard armor fades and his face is pressed against her collar bone, just beneath her neck, her body feeling intensely warm as he hears her heart beat steadily against his ears. A warm, constant thing beneath skin that is warm like beach sand on a hot day. His struggling ceases as feelings dull inside him and he turns his face, burying it in Saber's chest, tears running down his eyes as he screams in misery. Sakura is gone. He failed her.


	17. Chapter 17 - you can not redo

She watches as Sakura's form floats past her, the form of Bolarathon having hit the wall with such force it drew her old master out into the sky. Rider wishes to grab hold of Sakura's arm, to keep her from falling, but there is little she can do while she's holding this fool of a master behind her, her fighting prowess only now being at a more normal capacity due to being forced to suck the mana from so many. It saddens her. Even now, so many years after her death, she is still treated and used as a monster.

"Look at those three idiots swinging there like monkeys!" her fool master screams in her ear as Bolarathon nays beneath her. "Come on! Let's make another pass and drive those fools to the ground!"

He is right, she thinks, looking back towards the school. Both Emiya and Sakura are held precariously by Saber who for some reason is struggling to bring them back inside, probably due to Emiya still trying to hold on to Sakura. If only "he'd" been the one Sakura had traded her to instead of this sadistic little cretin. If only...

"Come on, Rider!" says the young man. "I'm ordering you to..."

"Wouldn't you rather take out your frustrations on the red mage who spurned you earlier?"

"Rin?!" says Matou, his eyes squinting as he grinds his teeth, a bulge on his forehead pulsing. "Of course I would! But she's not even here! So how could I..."

"Yes, she is," says Rider, having spotted the enemy master running towards the school grounds just beneath them. "She's just beneath us. So what is your choice, Master?"

She lets her tongue slide over the title, using it seductively to sway her master while keeping an eye on the swaying trio. She turns away, disgusted with her guile, but if she can give her old master even a fraction of a chance at survival then she's willing to sacrifice all the rest for that goal.

"Fine," he says, crossing his arms. "Let's do it."

"Which target, Master?" she says, making certain of his choice.

"Tohsaka Rin of course!" he yells in her ear, his voice shrill and high pitched. "Now get going, you idiot, before she gets away!"

She turns her noble steed downwards, angling to a point where they can land and prepare the attack. She gives one last glance towards the trio, her heart stopping as she sees Emiya's hand slip and her old master plummet to the earth below, her head bouncing in a sharp angle as she hits the floor, having hit the curb to the street below.

"Why are you stopping?" says the Matou boy. "Let's get going!"

"It's... nothing," she says quietly. "I'll do as you say."

* * *

She grits her teeth, tears running down her eyes. Even when she tries to do the right thing, it is for naught. So why... why must she persist in this stupid war? Why?

Her feet beat at the pavement, her heart racing, thumping against her ribs as she runs towards the school. She can already feel the heavy weight of the draining barrier wearing on her and she hasn't even been inside for a minute. But that does not matter, not when she heard that explosion and saw rubble fly out from the side of the school with a white streak. She isn't able to make out the blur properly as it turns, only that it had a student on its back, yelling at the person in front. Shinji Matou, she thinks.

Her hand curls in a fist and she raises her arm up level to aim towards the white object which she begins to make out as a horse when it turns suddenly in a streak, disappearing over her head. Shit, she thinks, her hair blowing violently as it is dragged backwards by the force of wind. It's a rider! But where did it disappear off to? She hadn't even been able to get a good glance at it before it disappeared, only barely making it out disappearing into the park next to the school.

She should call Archer here, she thinks, raising her wrist with the command seals on it when she thinks better of it and lowers her arm. No, she can handle this on her own. Archer is in no condition to be doing anything yet. Her decision made, she heads in the direction of the rider, wondering if she can gather any clues as to its orientation and set a proper trap with Archer.

It is several minutes later while she is wandering through the wooded park next to the school, her feet crunching the rotting leaves on the floor, that she begins to question her decision. This is no good, she thinks, looking towards the brush and thick trunks, biting down on her lower lip. She's lost any notion of where Rider could have gone off to, making a choice to follow after that white blur pointless beyond belief. She already knows it's Shinji Matou so why did she run after him like this? It's stupid. Really, really stupid!

She shakes her head, trying to clear her senses. Ever since this war started she's been making foolish decisions and miscalculations, starting with using her red jewel to save Emiya's life. But... if he'd been right about the school and it looks like he is... then what does that mean about Emiya?

"That he's an idiot," she mutters under her breath, turning around to head back to the school. She can think about Emiya later. Right now she needs to figure out a way to break apart this barrier and help those inside. Something she should have done rather than run off after Rider. Seriously, what has gotten into her to make her so reckless?

But even as she thinks it, she knows the reason. Archer. Each time she sees him anew he seems to have some injury. Something that cripples his condition pressing more of the responsibility of the war on her shoulders alone and it's left her stressed and irrational. She needs to stop and think, as a proper magus and not let emotion cloud her judgement. It's what she should have been doing from the beginning. Clenching her fist in self reproach, she turns back towards the school trying to think of how to break apart a barrier that is already active and draining people of their mana.

As she turns, she hears the whipping of air and feels a sudden pain in her left shoulder. She looks down in surprise to see a bloodied spike coming out of it, her heart racing as it pumps more blood through the wound.

"N-no way..." she thinks, when she's suddenly dragged backwards through the woods and slammed against a thick trunk, her body dragged up its length, leaving a red trail in its wake. She gasp as she feels an intense pain in her back, her body arching as she gasp.

"Don't worry, little master," a sultry voice coos against her ear, "it'll only hurt for a bit."

Then the sharp pain in her spine increases as the spike in her back is twisted. She stares down at it, shivering as she moves her arm with the command seals. A voice beneath her laughs wildly, voice filled with cheer.

"You should have listened to me, Tohsaka! We could have had a wonderful time together," she hears Shinji say from beneath her, staring up at her with eyes that match the wild unkempt look of his hair. "But you had to throw it all away! And now look at you! Stuck up a tree with nowhere to go!"

"Shinji," she growls, even as she winces at the pain in her shoulder.

"It really is too bad," says Shinji, his voice softening. "We could have been a great couple!"

"Never!" she says, jerking her arm up towards her face. "Archer! I need you! Now!"

"Stop her!" she hears Shinji whine loudly the energy from her command seal pulling at her body. Good, she thinks. Now she'll wipe that little smirk off his face and...

A chain loop wraps around her throat suddenly and jerks backwards against the tree trunk, her neck sounding with a snap. Eyes stare wide towards the orange red sky as they begin to dim, her breathing cut short. A form appears in the foliage above her, eyes looking back at her wide in disbelief as a red jacket flaps in the wind.

"Archer..." she smiles before blackness overtakes her and her body falls.

* * *

He stares wide eyed as Rin's body crashes down against the wood branch with an audible crackt, sounding infinitely loud to his ears, her eyes looking towards him with a dulling light as blood runs down her lips. Archer swears he can hear her utter his name before her body slips from the branch holding her, dropping to the floor below with a thud. Archer can only stare as the leaves flutter down over her body, slowly drifting down, his heart racing as it thunders in his chest. His body trembles as the wind whips his hair about, burning at his still open wounds, a cold sting in his eyes. Already, he feels the link to her fading, the mana that was healing his wounds and caring for him, cut off. The sudden split is sudden and terrifying. But worse is the realization of why it's happening. Her death, it's his fault.

In trying to prevent Saber's demise and move his past self towards a point where he could prevent the horrors of this moment right now, he inadvertently set them in motion himself by being ignorant of Rin preservation. He grits his teeth, fist clenched as anger overwhelms him. Not angered at Rider or even Shinji Matou, but at himself, for allowing this to happen. He should have been more cautious than this and yet, what he has done has only cemented what has come to pass and will come to pass. Damn it all, he thinks.

He'd worried for her, for certain, but he didn't prioritize her actions above his own or Saber's. Not until it became too late and he was locked in her room by her own orders, pacing back and forth, worried about her safety. Unsure and locked in place until he could find a loophole to the order she'd given him and slip out. How he wishes he'd never seen this and remained there, stuck in limbo, unknowing of his fault in her disappearance. But the same commands that locked him in place have now freed him. Freed him so he may see the fruits of his misguided actions. How he wishes he could take those actions back. But that opportunity has now passed. He has failed. Rin Tohsaka is dead.

"Hey, is that Tohsaka's servant?" says a loud shrill voice, making Archer turn his head. "What do I have you here for, Rider? Go get him!"

He stares as if uncomprehending towards the young man who points a quivering rage filled finger towards him, staring at him as if he is an alien, it taking a time for understanding to come upon him.

He leaps back as there is movement to his right, just barely dodging Rider's attack, feeling as her spike rips through his boot, grazing his right ankle. The blade chips away at the bone, leaving an intense stinging sensation, but nothing severe.

He lands on the floor, giving Rider a glance as she draws back her chain and giving Shinji a glare before turning tail and running. While he could normally stand against her, his injuries still wear at his condition, the wound at his side still enough to slow his movements considerably. He is hardly at a proper level to battle right now. So the best he can do is... run.

The tears sting his vision as he runs, pumping blood into muscles as he runs forward, almost slamming face first into a figure that appears before him, her shroud brushing over his head as she dodges to the right.

"Lose something?" says Caster, a smile curling the corners of her lips. Archer grits his teeth, glaring at the woman before running past. Somehow, the woman is aware of Rin's death and wishes to capitalize on it. She does not give chase and he thinks, hopefully she can at least distract Rider, thankful for small graces, as pathetic as they may be. At the very least, she didn't shoot him in the back, as much as he'd deserve it for the fool he has been. A great and utter fool.

* * *

The chains whip before her, slamming into the earth, ripping stone and debris into the sky, briefly clouding her vision. Even so, Caster merely dances aside, avoiding Rider's attacks without consequence, even going so far as to look back at her with an insidious smile.

"Rider! What are you doing?!" she hears her master's incessant whines in the back of her ear. She hisses under her breath, wishing she could just shove a spike through the brat's heart and be done with the whole affair. The young man has been nothing more than a nuisance, and the reason behind Sakura Matou's death. No, she thinks, hurling her blade once more towards the mage who flits by her sight. It is her fault as well. She could have let him go, grabbed at her old master instead, renewed her contract. Instead, she let the only person who was kind to her fall to her death. Matou's death is her fault as much as it is her fool Master's. It is a fact that distresses her to no end.

She can never escape what she truly is. A monster, a creature who would turn friends and lovers into stone at the mere sight of her. What fate then, can there be for a monster such as her than to lose all those who would give her any kindness and be the pawn for another twisted being?

"I see you are distressed, Rider," says the woman before her, dodging another whip like attack.

"Shut up," says Rider, lunging with another attack.

Caster dodges aside with a light chuckle.

"Stop goofing off and finish her off already!" her master yells, throwing off her attack as he grates on her nerves further. Can't he give her a modicum of trust and patience?

"You have a master who has no appreciation for you," says Caster. Rider chooses not to answer, lunging with another attack. "Don't you wish to be rid of him already?"

Rider frowns, kicking towards the being before her. The woman disappears in a blur and rider grits her teeth, glaring towards the fields. It has been going like this since the woman appeared before her, blocking her pursuit of Tohsaka's servant, Archer. Always taunting and goading her, reminding her that she should have better.

No, Rider thinks. She doesn't deserve better. After letting Matou die like that without even extending a hand to help her...

"Rider! Stop fooling around and kill her already! We have to get back to Emiya and his..."

"Shut your mouth already!" Rider yells, frustrated, her nerves frayed by the constant yelling and insults from this young man. She can't handle it anymore, and losing Matou on top of that... why won't this bastard give her some peace and let her...

The Caster appears before her, cloak flaring like a ghostly apparition, face hidden beneath her cowl. All Rider can see is a wide grin spread across the woman's face.

"You let your guard down!"

Before Rider can react, a sharp blade is thrust into her chest, cutting into flesh and bone, attacking her very being as it hits her magical circuits. Her head is thrown back even as she screams, feeling an intense fire as each wire and connection that binds her to the surviving Matou is cut, stripped away in an agonizing ferocity of violence and reassigned to the woman before her.

As the mage pulls her blade out from Rider's chest, Rider slumps backwards, almost falling to the floor as she gasp, feeling as the commands for the seals have been switched to another. To someone with a dark heart and turbulent emotion. Rider glares towards the woman before her, this intimate violation of her being a very personal thing and yet... freeing as well. She stares at her hands as if seeing them for the first time, freed from the shackles that bound her to her weak master.

"M-my command seals!" the Matou boy screams, looking towards his hand which is now raw and burnt, his eyes bulging, mouth hanging open as he stares at it, quivering. "What happened to my command seals?!"

Caster scoffs, no longer bothering to move or dodge from Rider's attacks, having no fear of her now that her noble phantasm has been engaged, the dagger being carefully tucked away.

"What a nuisance," she says under her breath. "Rider, will you..."

"Consider it done," says Rider, rushing towards the wide eyed youth, her weapon drawn out. If not for he, then her former master would never have been placed in danger and she could have at least led an honorable battle at her master's side. But she was too kind for this world, leaving Rider alone as a monster. And if monster she is, then let this act be one of atonement for the monstrous acts she was made to commit under this magus' reigns.

"Rider?! What are you doing!?" the Matou boy screams, placing a hand before his body as if to ward her off, as if this can somehow keep his former servant from harming him. She smiles cruelly down towards this being as she bears down on him. Where are his self assured jibes and striking words now? Where is his domineering influence? Without the command seals all this being becomes is a trembling fool to be brought down and after his treatment of both her and the one who was her true master, Rider feels no pity and begins Shinji Matou's execution. It is a painful thing indeed... for the Matou Boy and for the briefest of moments, Rider relishes in the monster she truly is.

* * *

author note- I must thank all my readers for making it this far and thank you for keeping up with this story for this long. This is probably my longest fanfiction thus far and as my muses speak we are approaching a wrap up soon. As you may notice, characters are beginning to fall. So please stay tuned and enjoy!


	18. Chapter 18 - sacrifice

"Ggyyyyyaaaaggghhhh!"

Caster smirks, giving a glance towards the soon to be "ex" master, watching his eyes bulge, mouth opened wide in a terrified scream even as the chain bindings with spike endings Rider has shoved through her old master's wrist and ankles pull in opposite directions. Rider seems deaf to the boy's cries, and if Caster didn't know any better, she'd swear she saw a smile cross the Rider's lips. She grimaces, a slight shiver running down her spine.

At first, the boy had begged and pleaded between screams, between the moments when he'd been stuck like a pig, impaled through wrists and ankles, bleeding more than what Caster had ever expected. He'd been spread out wide, pressed against the trees but it seems Rider wanted to take her time quartering the young man as she pulled her links inch by inch, spreading the chains as the young man's legs and arms were pulled further and further. It doesn't take much longer before Caster hears a pop soon followed by the tearing of flesh, the begging having turned into an insane crying mixed with tears. That ended when there was a distinct shredding sound followed by multiple thuds and a sickly splattering noise.

Caster doesn't even bother looking towards the mess by the tree line. By the strong odor of iron, she is certain the sight of it will make the bile surge up in her throat and she'll lose her composure before her new servant.

New servant, she thinks bitterly. Having used Rule Breaker, her noble phantasm, on Rider, she'd been able to sever the seals from Rider to her master and pass them on to herself, making her master instead. Rider had needed barely a word to lunge for her master and finish him off. She perhaps should have ordered something more humane. The screams had racked at her ears too much, pushing her own feelings to the limit. She's just glad it is over.

Now she wishes to use her "new ally" to take on a nuisance who removed her own servant from her. She'd seen him running past her, even enjoyed the idea of he running, that red servant who had slain her Assassin. She could have used Rule Breaker on him, but beyond he looking like a dog about to keel over from his own injuries, she wanted to watch him die. So her choice was made, spurned by watching a hated enemy run past her. She'd used Rule Breaker on Rider instead to bring about her enemy's death through it. Saber can wait until after.

"Rider," she says, "I have a task for you. That servant you were chasing earlier. I want you to finish him off."

Rider lifts her head, acknowledging Caster for a moment before nodding and disappearing in pursuit of her former target.

Soon, she thinks, soon the grail will be within her possession and her wish, her desire to return to her homeland, will be granted by the omnipotent all powerful device. Only a few more things stand in her way before the task is completed and then this dreadful war and her living hell will all be as if naught but a dream. All she need do now is wait and plan...

* * *

Shirou heard it. At first it was just a loud cry that he could ignore but as it grew louder it became too hard to ignore, snapping him awake. A cry very much like that of someone he knows. He pushes away from Saber, gritting his teeth as hands curl into fist, thinking on that smug bastard's grin and those dark eyes. He'll never mistake trusting that man again. But... even so, he can't simply turn his back on the man when he needs help, even when he was considering taking his life himself.

He turns towards Saber, she regarding him with cool eyes.

"Come on, Saber. We're going to rescue Shinji."

She takes a step towards him, her gaze narrowed as she considers his words.

"Are you certain of this... Shirou?" she says his name, rolling it on her tongue as something more personal and it almost makes him hesitate. "He is your enemy and he killed your friend. Are you certain you wish to rescue his life when he has taken the lives of so many others?"

Shirou's body shakes, fist trembling as he looks towards the horizon.

"Yeah," he says. "I'm not him. So I can't turn my back on someone in need. Let's go."

Saber regards the people within the classrooms for a moment before nodding, and putting her arm around his waist before leaping out the hole made in the wall not moments before.

"Is there anything we can do for those in the school," he ask, already dreading the answer.

Saber shakes her head as she puts him down.

"Our time was limited as is. The mana drain here will begin to affect us as well soon if we do not depart. All those within... their lives will soon be gone if they are not already."

He turns, almost tumbling over, needing Saber to steady him as the barrier draws from his own reserves as well, sapping at his strength. He is surprised the effects have not taken a toll on Saber as well, but she is made from different matter than he. So it is to be expected. He looks once more towards the classes above before nodding, his choice made.

"More reason to help, Shinji," says Shirou, looking up towards Saber's golden eyes. "We have to try and help everyone while we still can."

"Shirou..." she says quietly, but he pushes away, already moving at a run. If there is anything he can do, then he has to try. But, even as he runs, he thinks, it may already be too late. If Shinji is the one who activated the barrier and that scream is his own... then how can they bring the barrier down if he's injured or worse?

His running slows as the screeching noise he'd heard earlier comes to a stop, his eyes looking towards the woods, regarding it. He hadn't thought about it at first, thinking the sound was some birds, but it had grown louder until now... there is only dead silence.

"Shinji?" he whispers, the cries of earlier now gone. His fist tremble, tears running down his eyes. Even in this, did he fail?

"Shirou?" says Saber next to him.

"What is it, Saber?" he says. But he realizes she isn't looking towards him, her eyes looking out ahead of them and Shirou turns his head, looking towards a figure in red rapidly approaching them. Tohsaka's servant. What is he doing here? Wait, thinks Shirou, his heart stopping. If he's here then Rin might be as well! A brief hope and elation races through him as he looks towards the man who cuts the distance rapidly, his figure becoming clearer by the moment. If they are here, maybe they still have a chance to save everyone and all his efforts here won't have been in vain.

As the man stops Shirou addresses him formally.

"Hey, I think something happened to Shinji. I don't know what that scream was... but we need Rin now to be able to bring down the barrier. So..."

And then he notices it. A certain lack of a presence next to him.

"Where is she?" he ask, becoming worried.

The man is quiet, his lips set in a thin line.

"Where's Rin?" Shirou repeats in a commanding voice.

The man regards him with cool eyes, but Shirou can see them tremble and his body nearly collapses at the realization.

"No," he says, stepping back, his body beginning to quiver. "What happened?"

"Emiya, you need to leave this place. You and Saber are in danger and I will not last much longer."

"Where is Rin, you bastard!" he says, the tears running down his eyes now, the pain too much to keep inside, the feelings overwhelming him. "Where is she?!"

He doesn't know when he moved towards the man in red, tugging at his clothes as he screams, only that he finds himself inches from the man's face, yelling. The man bears it patiently but soon pushes him back as Shirou's motions begin to slow.

"The effects of the barrier are already starting to affect you and I too will soon be gone from this place. But still, even as I am, there is still something I can do for the both of you."

"What do you mean you will be gone soon?" says Saber, eyes narrowed as Shirou notices a quiver in her own voice. "Why do you say such a thing?"

"You are aware of that reason as well as am I. But even so, there is something that must be done. Shirou Emiya!" he says, his voice cutting through Shirou's despair. "Now is the time where I need you to focus most."

"Why?" Shirou ask through blurry eyes. "What do you need from me?"

"Listen to my words," he says. "For when I am gone, only you will remain at Saber's side. And you must recognize how to draw your weapon without burning your body."

"What are you talking about?" says Shirou, glaring at the man. It is fact that every time he uses magic that his body burns, like hot irons sticking in his flesh, running down his spine. What can this man show him that'll counter that? And why now of all times?

"Listen to these words and heed them, Shirou Emiya," he says. "For I can only say them once."

"Alright, I'm listening," he says, focusing beyond his pain even though everything inside him wishes to fall apart. But it is because of this that he can focus and pay attention to the man in red. The man glances at him and nods.

"Well then, let us begin."

He shuts his eyes, his body tensed as mana is drawn forth into his body and Shirou watches with a distinct interest.

"I am the bone of your sword," he says, his voice in a rhythmic timber. "Steel is my body and fire is my blood. This body, unknown to life yet known all too well to death and failure, calls upon thee. So heed my call, Excalibur Morgan!"

Even as the words run through his head, the chant seeming to engrave itself into his flesh, Shirou watches as that blade forms in the man's hands. A light being traced and called forth in a swirl of red brilliance that tinges itself black with a twisted aura. A sword he himself has become intimate with, for he held the hilt of this same sword only a day before. Excalibur Morgan, the twisted blade of darkness. Saber's weapon. So why does this man have it? Even as he thinks these words, the man looks towards him briefly, a soft smile playing on his lips with bright golden eyes looking back at him. Eyes Shirou recognizes all too well, for they are ones he has seen in a mirror daily staring back at him. Those eyes... are his own.

Shirou stares wide eyed, heart racing faster than ever before as it finally dawns on him and then the realization of something else comes to him as well as he looks towards Saber, as he thinks back to Saber's actions in regards to this man.

"That's... not possible..." he whispers.

"There's more possible now and in the hereafter than you can currently imagine, Shirou," says his older self.

Energy swirls around the other self's blade, twisting forth, blowing wickedly with a hot infernal like wind towards Shirou even as the man with his face lifts the blade above his own head, hair whipping forth violently, his eyes dead set towards the area before him.

"Ex-Calibur Morgan!" the man screams, releasing the torrent of energy towards the barrier. It hits squarely at the edge, that intense heat bouncing back and yet pushing forward, thundering against the barrier wall with a monstrous ring even as it pushes against it. There is a rippling noise with the roaring of Excalibur Morgan's blow followed by the almost roaring scream as the barrier shivers and then shatters, dissipating into the air.

"That barrier..." says Shirou, looking towards it in awe. "You... destroyed it. You..."

He looks towards the fallen man, his form starting to fade in a glimmer, almost like fairy dust.

"Wait... what did you do?!" he says, his own concern for the being outweighing any confusion or awe he currently feels.

"You fool man," he hears Saber say, rushing towards the man, propping him up in her arms. "What have you done?!"

"Saved you for what needs to be done," says the man, leaning heavily on Saber. He raises his head, his body trembling.

"Shirou, when the time comes, you will need a weapon greater than Excalibur Morgan to defeat Saber."

"Defeat.. Me?" says Saber, looking towards him as if she'd just been stabbed. Shirou himself stares, not comprehending. Why would he need to defeat Saber?

"You're kidding me!" he yells back. "Why would I ever need to..."

"When the time comes," says the older being, looking at him with hard eyes. "You will need a weapon composed of light. Only then will you be strong enough to do what needs to be done."

Saber pushes away from the man and Shirou himself can't think but have similar feelings despite what he has done in their favor. He looks towards Saber and wonders, why in the world would he ever need to fight her? Why if she's been his ally all this time? There's no way that could happen! His doppelganger has to be lying!

"You speak heresy," says Saber, her fist clenched. "Of what reason would the boy ever need to fight me?!"

The man in red simply smiles, sucking in a heavy gasp as he looks towards them both.

"Saber, you are as beautiful as ever. You..."

His eyes widen as he looks at something behind Saber and Shirou only sees as a shrouded figure appears, seemingly from thin air, withdrawing a twisted blade of gold.

"Saber!" he screams, acting without thought, pushing the woman out of the way even as the blade comes down towards her, coming down into his shoulder instead as he pushes her away, ripping flesh and bone. Shirou arches his back in a cry, his eyes widening, even as he stares at the large surprised golden eyes of his servant, his vision clouding in blackness as he falls forward, those eyes the last thing he sees before darkness wraps over his being.


	19. Chapter 19 - From the Shadows

He reads silently, awaiting Caster's return, the flickering flames of the candlelight his only companionship as the monks who worshiped here had all withdrawn for the day. Kuzuki Soichiro reads his manual for the next day of school assignments, the tedium of work keeping his mind sharp with the dull repetition of finding exactness in his studies. As he is about to turn the page to the manual, he sees the flame of the candle before him flicker. He raises his eyes, regarding the long stick of wax for a moment before snapping the book shut and rising slowly.

"I know you are there," he says in a dull voice. "Come out and show yourself. I have no interest in deceptions."

"Ah? Is that so, Professor?" says a cynical voice, the owner of which soon steps away from the shadows, a twist of the lips on his face as eyes gleam. "I would believe pretending to be a teacher while hiding your true occupation as an assassin to be one of the greatest of deceptions one could practice."

Soichiro pulls away his glasses, silently but quickly closing the long stems before slipping them into his pocket.

"It is no farce. I am a teacher of Homurahara University. That much is fact."

"True," says the priest stepping forward. "But your main cause is that of an assassin, is it not?"

He acts without sound, rushing towards the figure before him, raising his right fist and launching it for a lethal and quick blow. But instead of finding flesh and bone giving way beneath his attack, he finds his blow pushed aside, diverted downwards by the priest. An elbow to the face is pushed aside as are a flurry of blows. Each strike is pushed aside and Soichiro himself finds himself having to push aside blows that the priest launches at him before the man jumps back.

"Not a man of many words, are you, Soichiro?" says the priest, his stance readied into a combative state. Wing Chun if Soichiro is not mistaken. His own Shotoken style should be well tested by such a thing. He finds only the briefest flicker of a smile on his lips, enjoying the practice of combat with a truthfully skilled opponent before pushing the thought aside and rushing the priest once more. That, he finds, to be his mistake as a sharp pain suddenly assails his shoulders and a knife finds its way through his knee.

His step falters as he stumbles towards the priest in time only to find the priest' attack coming beneath him, his fist rising quickly in such a state that Soichiro has no time to block. Even as hands try to close before that wrist that rocks towards him, he knows it will be too late.

Hard bone and muscle twist into his chest, bone in his ribs tearing and snapping, ripping through his heart and impaling it with many sharp slivers that make the pain at his pale in comparison before the blow itself sends him airborne at such a speed he slams into the opposing wall with brutal thunderous force, his spine giving way beneath him. Caster he thinks, regarding that woman's soft and vulnerable eyes, he is sorry to have failed her. If only he could be certain she would be safe from danger and gain her wish then could he die in peace. This, however; he knows is but mere fancy, even as eyes close and blacken, his body giving in to its injuries. He knows all too well Caster is likely too soon join him on the other side...

* * *

"How droll," says the armored warrior, stepping out of the shadows, arms crossed over his chest as he glares down at the university professor who now lays limp on the floor. "Why do you have us wasting time with such a mongrel as this?"

Kotomine smiles. Even now, the arrogance of his servant still amazes him. A king he may have been, but no more. Still, the man acts as if nothing has changed and Kotomine knows if he is not careful, he can easily find himself in Soichiro's place. But he has become accustomed to living on the edge with this servant and nods.

"To prepare the setting for the remaining players and set the final pieces into motion."

"Hmpf," says the golden clad man, turning away. "Just be certain to actually be victorious in attaining the grail this time. I don't want another blunder like last time. I was forgiving once, I won't be again."

Kotomine's smile falters, considering the man's words, but he can't retort as the golden being soon disappears, fading from view, his golden splendor nothing more than a mirage. Even the swords that tore through Soichiro's body fade as if they never were. Such is the way of servants, to leave only the end results of their actions and nothing more. Much as his old adversary, Kiritsugu. More myth than reality that one.

Kotomine's hand clenches into a fist as he considers his old rival. For so long he'd thought himself cheated of proper revenge when Kiritsugu disappeared suddenly, falling away from the scene so unexpectedly. But word came to him from a most unusual source as Tohsaka let slip that a boy named "Emiya" was in her school. All in time for the new grail war. Kotomine has little doubt that the son of Kiritsugu Emiya will have been chosen as a master. He only hopes the young man survives long enough so he himself has the pleasure of crushing the man's spine while looking into his eyes to see the despair and loss as he struggles for life. Even thinking on the idea brings him such a joy that he can't help but grin and stare at the heavens in near ecstacy. It may not be the same as killing Kiritsugu himself, but it will certainly be a great and wonderful thing to do all the same and he awaits that pleasure with great zeal.

* * *

He'd pushed her out of the way, she thinks, pushed her so the blade their adversary carried fell upon him, biting into his shoulder and bone as it dug deep, a splatter of blood spilling from Shirou's mouth onto her chest as if emphasizing her failure to protect him. She screams his name in fear and desperation and slashes at the woman out of instinct more than anything, her sword cutting deep, ripping through flesh and bone. The woman sprays blood, her scream cut off by a mouthful of the red liquid but it's not enough for Saber, who wants to gut the woman. That is... until she hears Shirou's older self scream as well.

She turns, seeing Shirou jerked back by a chain attached to a spiked blade in his chest, body pressed against Rider's formidable chest as her arm wraps around his throat.

"Give up or I kill him," she says, no trace of humor or jest in her voice.

Saber's hand shakes, seeing that man in the other woman's grip. He'd said she needed to be defeated and yet, she doesn't want him to die this way. It's so pathetic to die in such a manner, to an assassin's blade at the back. She'd not want him to die this way but... what can she do? What should she do?

"Saber!" he yells suddenly. "Take Shirou and run!"

She stares wide eyed, looking towards the older man, a drop of sweat running down her brow. As he speaks his words, for only a moment she'd thought she'd seen her former self reflected in his being, those words spoken once more, hollered from that hollow voice. "Run!"

Her legs are frozen to the spot, nailed as if by stone to the hard floor and she can only stare with her heart racing as the older Shirou struggles with Rider even as his flesh and body fades away. He is going to die regardless, she realizes, his energy too weak to hold him for much longer. She raises her blade, intent on driving her sword through Shirou and Rider to at least be rid of that woman as well if Shirou is going to die regardless, then the least she can do is make certain his sacrifice is not in vain. She is about to rush forward with her attack when she hears the younger Shirou cry out.

She turns her head sharply, seeing Caster struggling to pull out her twisted blade from Shirou's shoulder. Incensed, she rages with a scream, her cry stopping Caster's movements as the woman stares wide eyed up at her, releasing her grip on the dagger. Saber slams her blade down on Caster, the woman's arm severed at the elbow, Excalibur Morgan cutting through her upper ribs, leaving the woman to topple over Shirou's prone body. Saber kicks the near corpse woman away without mercy, sending her flying backwards, skidding across the hard stone floor and lifts Shirou up carefully, lifting him into her arms as gently as she would a newborn as eyes fill with tears.

"I'm sorry," she says quietly. "This.. This is my fault. If I hadn't been distracted, I..."

There is a loud snap and she turns, seeing the older Shirou's body dissolving as it fades into magical ash as Rider rises. Saber grits her teeth, cursing the fates and hugs Shirou tightly, holding him to her chest. There is no time for this and she can not risk Shirou's safety again.

Turning away, she draws in her arrogant pride and runs, hoping only that Rider won't impale her in the back as she did with the older Shirou. She grips the young man tightly, thinking how she's watched him die before her already and thinking how she needs to acquire the grail. Acquire it so she can prevent this tragedy and prevent all this blood shed from ever taking place. She has to! For everyone's sake.

* * *

Rider watches impassively as the servant in red fades away, the other servant running away with her master. At least... she still has a master, thinks Rider bitterly, a frown forming on her face.

The regular course of action would be to attack Saber as her back is turned and finish off her master. That would be the regular course of action. But with her own master dead and this one dying, she thinks, walking over to Caster, looking towards her impassively, there's little point in attacking Saber. Her energy is too limited and Caster can offer no more. No. Attacking Saber would be a fool's errand and she'd be on the losing end of that battle. Better to take what victory she may and lick her wounds until tomorrow.

Caster raises her arm towards Rider weakly, limb shaking. The woman's left arm has been severed and the woman's ribs have been opened in such a way she has nearly been disemboweled. There is no hope for her. Her body is already fading much like the man in red. It is the end for Rider's very temporary master.

"H-help me..." Caster implores with a shaky voice. "Please... help..."

"Of course," says Rider, slamming the spiked end of her chain down into Caster's skull, watching it cave in the bone as easily as it would paper. The woman's body stiffens for a brief moment before the arm falls limply, the body fading away into its magical components just as with the man in red. She wrenches her spike out from the body, watching as the last particles of the woman's flesh and spirit disappear, returning to the grail. With Caster gone, her master is now free to make a pact with a new servant. So... the only question is... where would he be?


	20. Chapter 20 - the end draws near

She should have realized it earlier, she thinks, mentally berating herself. She should have recognized that the location for Caster's master would be here at the Ryoudo temple. After all, wasn't this the place Rider herself was supposed to attack after the energy was drawn from the school to be able to perform a full scale assault? It's what that Matou fool was yelling about all this time, that Caster was demeaning him and mocking him with her abilities, her pridefulness in keeping him out with a bounded field. So it really should have been obvious. But...

Rider walks through the empty corridors of the temple, interest piqued that there is no one here. The place is empty, like a hollow tomb. She hears a rustling and draws her metal spike, intent on maiming any who tries to walk up on her suddenly.

After many tense moments with no movement, her heart slows and she walks forward. The room is hardly illuminated save for a few candles that flicker, a body against the corner wall with a sheet draped over it lies there. Though she can not see the body well, she can smell the strong scent of iron and the rot that has already started to set in. The body is not fresh. How long has he been dead, she wonders? And more importantly, is this Caster's master?

As she draws near, her fingers lingering towards the sheets, a voice makes her leap backwards, drawing her weapon.

"I do apologize," says a crude voice. "I haven't had time to properly dispose of the body. How rude of me."

"Who?" says Rider, tensing.

The figure steps forward, a smirk on his face as he looks towards Rider, the cross hanging from his neck from a necklace identifying him as a priest.

"I'd been certain that it would be Caster who would return here. I'd so longed to see her face fill with despair as she found her precious Soichiro violently murdered on the floor. Instead we have the Matou's servant. Tell me, is Shinji still pretending to be a master or has he given the reigns back to the proper master?"

The condescending voice and arrogant swagger. It is all too much. Wether it is Matou, or Caster, all who face her seem to be swaggering fools and she'll not abide by it any longer! She rushes towards the priest, intent on impaling him with her blade when golden chains wrap around her wrist and ankles, over her waist and chest and even pull back at her throat, holding her up and spreading her like some fetish doll.

"You... bastard..." she whispers. "Are you a master too?"

"Yes," says the priest, grinning ear to ear. "From the former war actually."

She pulls at her bindings, finding them unusually strong. The bindings hold her in such a way she can hardly move.

"Those binds you have you will find are almost unbreakable, should you have the blood of a demigod. Considering the difficulty you are having I would say that is almost a certainty. I would be curious to know what heroic spirit you are for the chains of "Enkidu" to work on you so. But it hardly matters. You're a waste of resources and a mere hindrance to my goals. Gilgamesh... if you would be so kind?" says the priest raising his hand.

A golden being decked in armor that shines bright as the sun strides forward, looking towards her with a sneer.

"I would have expected something better to be caught by the binds of Enkidu than some mere "harlot," says the one named Gilgamesh. "This is truly a waste of my abilities, Kotomine."

"Indeed," says the priest, "so be a dear and rid us of this mess, won't you?"

That smile. That grin and those eyes that regard her as so little, it is too much for her and Rider begins to rage, screaming incoherently, flinging obscenities at the priest who reminds her so much of the Matou boy who brought her so low. Why? Why is she brought to this point again? Will the world be so constantly cruel?

"What a foul tongue you have, wench," says Gilgamesh. "Feel honored then that I use my noble blades against your wretched flesh. For it is more than you deserve! Gate of Babylon!"

Rider's thrashing slows as golden spirals appear, seeming to fill the room in their brilliance as blades of every shape and fashion are drawn forth as by invisible strings, lighting the room in their dark glow. The pompous fool spreads his arms wide, laughing, another equal to Shinji Matou who means to humiliate her so. A tear runs down her cheek as she looks on, a soft whimper coming from her lips. Fate has an ironic sense of justice for her, she thinks, that she'd be spread out the same way as the Matou boy when she dies. It is truly cruel.

* * *

She coughs into the dirty kerchief, staring through blurry eyes at the pristine whiteness now drenched in a sickly red. Her condition is getting worse, Illya thinks. She hadn't thought that it'd get so bad so soon, or that it'd be this painful. Truthfully, she'd hoped to at least have some more fun and freedom with this war. To be out and see the world more now that all those surgeons and doctors and mages were gone.

Her eyes narrow, small hands turning white knuckled as she thinks back on the surgeons and how they'd cut her body constantly, bringing her unquestionable pain and agony. It hurts... she thinks, hurts so much, just like this condition that is ravaging her body, making her too weak to move. She coughs again, not even able to bring her kerchief to her mouth this time as the violent fits hit her.

The red stains her porcelain skin, blackening it with the sickly color just as it did her kerchief. She smiles up at it weakly, thinking things have moved along so fast and so quickly she had no time to cope and handle the situation. It just all happened so fast. One day she'd entered the war and the next.. servant after servant started falling like flies to the slaughter.

Her body strains to hold the energies swirling inside her from so many spirits coming back to form the grail, filling it with their life essence. So many of them dead. She wonders if his servant and his own life are part of it?

Briefly, she thinks back upon the young man with red hair, her "little brother," Shirou Emiya. She'd thought for certain that when her father abandoned her to her misery and torment, that he was enjoying his life by turning another young child into something just as sick and twisted as he. After all, what kind of father would leave their ten year old daughter to be experimented on for another grail war?

That's what she'd thought. Shirou's servant certainly fit the part, being a being who seemed to exude a dark energy and aura that was frightening to say the least, so all consuming and dark as it was. But... it seemed her "brother" was different than that. He'd tried to help his servant when Berserker could have finished her off and Illya can only wonder... why? Why would someone who is twisted do such a thing? Someone twisted would never risk their life for another... unless, they really aren't twisted and Illya has been wrong this entire time?

It irks at her being that she could have misjudged someone so fully as this. That her brother may be an exact reflection of that father she once adored. The type of "hero" she'd wanted him to be. Her little brother.

"I'd have liked to speak with you more... Brother..." she whispers, before her head falls back, the heat once more rising in her body, pushing a strain on her being.

She doesn't notice as the enormous figure who has been keeping watch, places the tip of a great finger on her brow, feeling her warmth and nods to itself as it rises, the image of this... "brother," flitting through its head. She knows the being of whom she speaks, the one he once intended to put to the earth. But, its master wants the young man for some reason, and what its master wants, Berserker will acquire...

* * *

The berserker's steps rumble as it moves away from the castle in search of its latest quest. Interestingly, Kotomine notes, without its master. Likely as he has come to understand, due to her chalice about ready to overflow, the strain on her body likely enormous, threatening to tear that small frame of hers apart. It's almost sad, he thinks, if it weren't so marvelous what the disintegration of that body will bring.

Kotomine's lips twist in a grin as he thinks on that, on the havoc and bloodshed that unleashing the desire both he and Gilgamesh share will bring about. Kotomine brings the cross about his neck to his lips, giving it a light kiss in reverence. Though he is a dark man with a dark heart, he likes to think that what he does is for the greater good of humanity. Humans for too long have been about their ignorant lives with too much leisure and free time, ignorant of their true god, living life in their luxuries as they have. Only through sacrifice and pain do humans really come to understand their place in the great scheme of things. Only then, do they remember their true god! So in this, Kotomine regards himself a saint, as he brings back memory to man and reminds them of where their faith and worship should be.

He looks towards the great estate, his hands reaching for the handle when the hairs on the back of his neck prickle and he leaps back, the earth before him exploding in a cloud of dirt and dust.

Kotomine stares, his eyes narrowed as he glares towards the woman in white before him, her uniform a full body thing in white, a great halberd in her hand wrenched from the floor. But what he finds most striking is her eyes. A crimson color but dead and lacking life. A failure for the grail vessel, he realizes. A homonculus. A creation born of magic that barely lives. Stronger than living things with single minded purpose. How vexing. He'll have to deal with it first before acquiring Illyasviel and he'd hoped only Berserker was in the way. Such are the trials of a man of god.

"Out of the way, woman," he says.

"That can not be done. All intruders must be turned away and dealt with," says the porcelain doll in a droll robotic voice. "So are the orders of the master."

"So be it," says Kotomine, resigning himself to battle. He tenses his body and launches himself at the woman. This is merely another trial for him and he will yet prove himself greater, so is his will and that of the fates.

Saber lays the young man against her as he breathes raggedly, all his blood having gotten on her clothes, still even now, trickling down her armor as such. She wants to scream at the unfairness of it all, but can only swallow bitter tears as she grips the shaft of the blade in his shoulder and wrenches it out, quickly tearing a nearby blanket and wrapping it tightly over his wound, pulling it hard and then pressing down with her hands as she simply whispers to him, "Please don't die. Shirou... Don't die!"

It is all she can do as her body shudders with grief and pain, because there is no other to help her now. She is alone and that terrifies her.


	21. Chapter 21 - Twisted Dreams

His body is heavy, wary, covered in a fine sheen of sweat that layers his skin, his heart beating hard against his chest, wishing to tear through his ribs, eyes blurred, the weight of his sword at his side seeming impossibly heavy. Before him lie the bodies of men, broken and twisted, lying dead and yet a swarm of more come. A greater mass that seems to overpower those loyal to him. Shirou recognizes none of these men, but the memory does. Countrymen and villagers striking down knights at his side. Killing people still at his side. Friends and family.

Even though a part of him thinks of these opposing forces as friends, ones who would raise their sword, ones who he failed as this memory is deeply ingrained in his flesh, he must still serve those that yet stand. He knows none of this a part of him says, and yet he lets his body move within the motions of the memory, even as he raises his sword, his brow twitching as he sees the face that looks back at him from the reflection of the blade.

Where golden eyes under a matt of red hair should be looking back at him, instead, he sees bright green eyes worn by the weight of battle and rule. Weary of choice and fighting that all seems mistaken. These eyes look back from under sweaty blonde locks on a cupid like face that breathes slowly. He stares, eyes widening as he recognizes the face.

"Saber..." he whispers.

It should have been so obvious, he thinks. The golden fields running red with blood, the men at his side adorned in medieval armor and yet he hadn't been able to piece it together. His body and mind so worn. And so different from her... he thinks, her armor black and twisted like out of a nightmare where none of these men reflect that. But that face that stared back at him from the blade... that didn't reflect the dark image either. So... what happened to make her such?

He slows his mind down, looking at the bodies around him, eyes widening for a moment as he sees not knights, but the people he's known throughout his life. Sakura, lying on the floor with a sword through her chest, looking at him from dead empty eyes, Rin with her neck snapped backwards, Issei lying on the floor, missing half his face. The man in red, the one he knows as himself, lying against a tree with dead eyes, an arm missing, his entire body drenched in red, stinking of blood. Everyone he has known. Everyone, lies around him, dead. And the weight of their lives weighs upon him heavily, burying him in their loss. A burden he himself has to carry. A blame that is his alone.

He screams as he raises his sword, feeling as energies flow from his body into the weapon, drawing forth the energies, hurling them foreword, earth and bodies flying from before him. Those that are lucky, burning in the wave of energy that was launched. Those that are not lying half burnt, moaning as death draws near.

He looks upon them all with a heavy heart, swearing he can see Shinji bleeding on the floor and Fujine among those who are his rivals and others he knows. All brought down and broken by him. By his sword when he uttered "that" word.

Excalibur.

Not Excalibur Morgan or some other twisted chant. Excalibur. The clues had been right in the name and he'd been oblivious to it.

It is then his heart slows as he looks upon the sword which was before the blade became twisted as it now is, the reflection of darkness marring its beauty. Excalibur, the weapon of promised victory. The face reflected back at him no more masculine than before, even if briefly it reflects golden eyes back at him before they shift back into their original jade. Saber. Saber is Arthur Pendragon. The twisted body that has been aiding him in this blood bath is ... the King Arthur of the legends of old. Such beauty, such idealism, betrayed by his father and turned into what he now knows. All from one moment when that cup was split and a black darkness spilled out, enveloping her and twisting her into what she now is. A broken being.

He sees a twisted black shape walk through the bodies before him in the shape of Kiritsugu, his form seeming like a shadow with his image, but where eyes should be are golden orbs that seem to glow like molten lava, his lips dripping with an orange liquid that burns the floor.

"Kiritsugu!" he screams. "You bastard! What did you do to her?! What did you do to Saber?!"

The memories of the man he once respected, once loved, the kind expression on his lips as he died that night long ago on the porch, the man who'd saved him from the fires, it all fades as he sees the figure before him, the true form of his "father." A monster who destroyed what was beautiful and pure for his own selfish ideals. An unforgivable beast. Could he not see the pain Saber already carried and yet... he added to her burden and weight and nearly destroyed her by destroying the grail before her as he did. All this pain and misery... this twisted black shape, it's his fault. All of it. And more... the eyes of the dead look towards him reproachfully and he snarls thinking how he'd never been properly trained or prepared for this. How he could have been better prepared if he'd known and prevented so much death. All of it, because of Kiritsugu. Kiritsugu left him weak and helpless, trying to make Shirou an exact copy of himself.

Shirou's hands clench harder on his blade, knuckles going white as he feels the armor encasing them biting into his skin. But that pain is nothing compared to the pain he feels from that betrayal, from the destruction of all he'd believed. How could he? How could the man he'd trusted so, have truly been a monster? And how did he never see it?

"Faaaaatttthhherrrr!" he screams, feeling something black and vicious twist inside his body, burning and tearing at his flesh. It boils under his skin, clawing at his being, drawing him inside itself as it worms itself into any crevice or opening it can find and yet... he can not care as he stares at that being before him who grins happily. "Father..." he hisses.

He hears laughter echo in his skull, a wicked thing that sends chills through his entire body and all he can see, all he can feel... is a burning hatred as his teeth grind against one another, energy being drawn into his sword that reflects that hatred, swirling in a blackened red energy, no longer pure or white but now filled with malevolence, anger and sadness. Shirou is ignorant to it all. Whatever this thing is before him, he thinks, he will destroy it, with whatever means he has at his disposal. Whatever the means.

* * *

Saber stares at Shirou, watchful for his condition as she keeps him face up, a new blanket hastily drawn over his body and pillows placed under his head. She hopes he is comfortable, she thinks, placing a warm hand on his scalp, but she can feel little... her feelings seemingly gone thanks to the grail. All she can feel is her own heat, the burning fires within and barely feel the form of the man before her.

Bitter tears stream down her face as she looks towards her young master and hands cross at her lap. All she can do is sit and stand watch over him as he passes, his breathing a ragged heavy thing. She can see the perspiration on his head as something in his sleep troubles him and grimaces, her knuckles going white as they grip her pants. He is dreaming... seeing her memories and it is affecting him. She'd waken him now, if not for his injury. Bring him out of the horror he currently faces. But what... what can she do?

Out of instinct, she grips his hand, pressing it warmly between the both of hers, hugging it to her lips.

"Please, Shirou..." she whispers. "Come back to me. Come back."

* * *

"Ex... calibur... Morgan!" he shouts, the blade arching a crimson red slash before him. He swears he sees the shadow form of Kiritsugu smile before the energy reaches him, burning his image to ash. It doesn't matter. Doesn't matter as long as he disappears from view. As long as it is over. As long...

He blinks his eyes, uncertain if the scene before him is shifting as he thinks it is. It looks almost as if the sky and everything is turning red, the figures around him sinking into a red liquid as the sky blackens, almost as if dissolving. He looks at the floor beneath him, eyes widening as it bubbles, sticking to his feet, crimson red in color.

Wh-what is this, he thinks. What is going on?

His feet seem to sink in the red quagmire that bubbles forth, unbalanced as he is. He tries to pull his legs out of the muck, finding it very difficult to do so, like something is pulling him under. His heart begins to race, a sweat pouring down his forehead as the clouds above grow darker and all he can see is the red reflection before him. As he pulls, it feels as if fingers are digging into his skin and legs and even when he is able to pull his leg part way out it gets pulled back down by what looked like actual fingers covered in blood holding on to his limb.

Heart racing, he struggles, screaming into the dull red sky.

"Help! Dad! Fujinee! Sakura! Anyone!"

But his voice seems to fall on deaf ears in the deathly empty place of crimson that expands beyond his vision as hands grip his arms and waist, slapping down on his forehead, leaving wet streaks as jagged nails rip at his skin.

He turns his head to the left, by chance seeing a figure to the distance. One in blue with golden locks, her eyes regarding him in a cool green as he struggles to keep his head above water.

"S-saber! He-help!" he screams at the impassive figure before the hands finally pull him under. And almost as quickly a strong hand grips his own, coming under the red waters to take a hold of his arm, pulling him upwards, jerking him back to the surface. But not before he saw what was pulling him beneath the surface. The man in the red jacket with hair of silver, his future self, but with eyes glowing yellow and hollowed out like his father's. He and the other servants... Rider, Assassin, Lancer... pulling him under, their eyes all hollow and vacant. Pulling at him, wishing to make him like they, but something, someone, pulls him forward with a greater strength and he burst from that hell to see jade eyes that regard him with a stern expression.

"Saber..." he whispers with a sad smile when his eyes snap open, his breathing ragged, body slick with sweat as he gasp for air.

"Shirou!" says a distinct voice next to him. "Are you alright? When Caster stabbed you, I thought..."

"Saber..." he says, turning and hurling himself at the woman, wrapping his arms about her body, holding her tightly. His heart thunders in his body, his breathing strained, yet it slows as he feels warm hands stroke his head, holding him closely, a steady beat of someone's heart against his ear. Steady and strong, just like the rest of her. Saber.

"Shirou..." the voice says quietly. "I'm glad you're alright. I..."

She stops speaking, an echoing thud sounding to their right.

"What..." says Shirou, trying to grasp what the sound might be. When it sounds again, closer, the earth seeming to shake with the movement.

"Shirou..." says Saber, the armor forming on her body as she draws her blade. "Stay close. Whatever you do, don't leave my side! I..."

The wall burst forth, a blade of jagged stone coming forward, coming down across Saber's body, splitting flesh and bone in a red spray as Saber falls backwards on the floor, her armor seeming to have offered the same protection as a sheet of paper. She stares at Shirou with almost empty eyes as a towering behemoth enters the room. That monster glares at him with squinting, uncaring eyes. He can only stare up in horror at the giant who took Saber out in one blow. A being that can only bring death and oblivion. The servant, Berserker, has finally come for him anew.


	22. Chapter 22 - last hope

"Saber!" he screams, reaching out his hand towards her as she falls to the ground, the black armor of her body mired in red blood, her eyes seeming to look past him as she stares out towards the nothingness.

"SABER!" he screams in denial, his fingers shaking over her bloodied body. No. No. Not her too... "Saber..."

He moans her name, eyes wide, filling with tears as he holds his head, shaking it back and forth trying to deny the sight before him as the carpet soaks itself with blood, the open gash before in full display.

" . .no," he keeps murmuring, holding his hair tightly, trying his best to deny what is happening as his mind begins to break, a black burning feeling seeming to crawl up over his skin. As this feeling begins to wash over him, something massive and heavy closes over his frame. He turns towards that mass, regarding the berserker, his eyes narrowing in hatred and despair towards the being.

"Do it. What are you waiting for!? Just do it!" he screams, knowing this will be his end. He's lost his servant and all his friends, everything he has known. There is no more reason to continue. So what is its worth. It's best just to end it all...

The creature glares at him, the hold on Shirou's body tightening when suddenly there is the crunch of bone and flesh snapping, blood spraying in his sight as he sees a black figure between that spray with pale skin and amber eyes.

"S-saber?! You're alive?"

She does not answer, instead rushing to finish what she started as the great behemoth reels back in agony, roaring as it raises its blade to renew its attack and Shirou falls to the floor in shock, the great weight of Berserker's arm falling with him. He struggles to push himself back up and free himself from the dead grasp of those giant fingers as he tries to get up and make certain of what he thought he saw. Saber. Saber is alive!

He can not believe how relieved he is about this and yet, how terribly worried and fearful he is of this at the same time and only feels an incredible desire to free himself and come to her aide. He needs to protect Saber! He has to! There is no other choice, otherwise... he doesn't know what he's going to do anymore... So he fights to free himself and dedicate himself to this, his last hope and desire.

* * *

She should have seen this coming, she thinks as the blade crunches through armor and bone, splitting her open like a staked hog. Should have, but didn't. That was her mistake. As she falls to the floor with a thud, she looks towards Shirou who stares back at her in shock, eyes wide and brimming with tears. She tries to whisper for him to run, but either he can not hear or her voice is no longer working. So her pleas are ignored as the behemoth makes its way towards Shirou and she smiles sadly, a single tear drawing down her cheek. She failed to protect those she cares for... again.

As she shuts her eyes to give herself over to that eternal blackness, she hears the crackling of flame, a shiver running up her body as the realization dawns that the grail waits to torture her anew, the figure like Kiritsugu smiling back at her with mouth dripping with red molten spit.

"Failure..." it whispers in a ghostly voice, grinning malevolently from ear to ear as it reaches its arms out towards her to begin her hell anew.

"Yes," she whispers sadly, resigned to that fate. She failed her master, a being who was willing to lay down his own life for her. A being who made her.. happy. Even as she speaks, he is probably being crushed by Berserker. Being crushed and screaming her name. Screaming...

Her eyes snap open then, a determination in her gut. The figure of Kiritsugu halts its progress towards her, its lips twisting in a grimace. She holds her blade before her, staring just for a moment at the bright blade of Excalibur, untainted and pure. Like Shirou. Like the master she must save.

The figure reaches its arms towards her once again, letting out a howl of anguish and rage such that it rattles her being and yet, her decision makes her stone once more, yet flowing and relaxed as water as she chooses her fate and her eyes snap open.

She sees great fingers close on the young man's frame, he turning to the figure and yelling defiantly, and she snaps, lifting a blade of purity and rushes the giant, sharpened blade and will cutting through meat and bone as easily as it plies through paper. Even as that limb falls, she turns her attention back towards that giant and pushes off the ground, jamming her blade through its chest. Hard body and bone resist and yet she pushes through, yelling that name that had escaped her lips so long ago. Excalibur.

There is an explosion of flesh and bone, a spray of viscera and blood as the bright flash of white obliterates its target, tearing away the torso as if it had never been there to begin with. She stares at the figure before her, a subtle calm coming over her as she steps away from it, her mind and body for once at peace. This is her duty and pride as a knight, to do the impossible and make miracles happen. It is her right.

"Saber!" she hears Shirou scream as he rushes towards her, his arms wrapping about her body, bringing her in to his tight embrace. She feels a hot warmth spill outwards and gasp, the illusion of power and strength fading as reality comes to dawn on her once more. She's been seriously injured and though Shirou is fine, her body is not. She collapses against him, her body's renewed vigor at its end.

It's so impressive, that power she used to take down Berserker as if he were nothing at all. With a glowing bright light exuded from her blade it blasted the giant beast apart and Saber, despite her injuries that Shirou thinks she is well. But she still has that bloody wound, he thinks. That sore opening across her body that bleeds and he hugs her tightly, happy that she isn't dead. Happy, until she collapses against his shoulder, gripping it tightly, coughing, his clothes being soaked by her inner organs as it bleeds over onto him.

"S-saber..." he says quietly, fear suddenly replacing elation.

She holds him tightly, fingers digging into his shoulder as if struggling to keep her balance.

"I'm sorry... Shirou..." she says in a pained voice. "I ... can't..."

"Saber..." he says, holding her against him. "I'll take you to a hospital! I'll... I'll..." But what can he do? His mind races for options, considering and rejecting each one. Even if he manages to get her to a hospital, her body is severely damaged and her body... is not normal. Could surgeons and doctors really help to save her life or would it just be a worthless choice?

"Saber..." he says, quietly, the tears coming unbidden to his eyes as he lays her down on the floor, those bitter tears slapping wetly against her armor. "What do I do? How... can I help you?"

"Berserker is gone," she says. 'You must survive and defeat the other servants."

"Idiot!" he says, "how am I going to do that without you?"

She is quiet for a time, resting her hands against her stomach as her breathing comes out in slow ragged breathes.

"Perhaps another servant will appear without master," she says. "Then you can renew your contract when I am gone."

"I don't want another servant," he says, gripping her shoulders. "I want you! There.. There has to be a way to fix this! I... I can't..."

He can't handle seeing her die when she just came back. It's like losing her all over again, he thinks. So soon after she recovered and she's dying. He can't handle it anymore. He just can't.

"There is a way..." she says quietly. "We may.. Exchange mana."

"You mean a kiss will fix this? Are you serious?! How can..."

"No. What I need is more than that. More of your energy that will leave you severely compromised," she says. "And..." She coughs, the blood spraying on his face, racking her body, giving her a pained expression that stills his heart.

"What you need to do..." she says, "is very untoward, especially in my current state."

He leans forward, his face set in a serious expression.

"Tell me what I need to do."

* * *

If it can save Saber, he'll do it. Anything so long as she is healed and still at his side. He'll do anything. He waits for her words, feeling the hot warmth of her own blood drip down his face as he looks towards her amber eyes that stare back tiredly. She lets out a sigh, shutting them briefly.

"Make love to me," she says.

"W-wait! What?!," he says, flustered, not comprehending how such an act will bring her back from the brink, his heart thundering in his chest at a thousand miles. It's insane. How can such a thing undo the damage that's been done? It's not that he doesn't want to.. But now, in her current state?! Then his body slows as a realization dawns on him. Or is it really just a final wish she has? He looks towards her as she stares back sadly.

"If you are unwilling, I ... understand," she says. "I..."

"It's not that, Saber," he says quietly. "I just don't understand how this will make you better. I mean if it's your last wish or something but..."

"Would it matter?" she says, her tone brooking no disagreement.

"No," he says, dejected. "But I don't want to lose you. I.."

"Then please... hurry," she says. "I can't explain right now..."

Her voice trails off, another fit of coughing taking her, her armor fading as it leaves her body leaving Shirou to see the full effects of the damage inflicted upon her. It pains him to see her this way but he nods. He'll do what she ask even if it seems ridiculous.

"Alright, Saber," he says quietly. "I'll do what you ask."

He slips off his shirt, placing it to the side, staring down at her quietly. If it is her final wish, then he will not deny her. If he is going to lose her, at least he can send her away happily, no matter how twisted this fantasy of hers truly is. It doesn't matter anymore.

He leans forward, kissing her mouth, lips lingering and gasp, feeling as her spirit draws energy from him, almost demanding it. He pulls away, shocked.

"Saber... that..."

"I need you inside me, Shirou," she says, trying to push up her legs. "My body won't draw from you so fiercely if it takes from your seed instead of you."

She shuts her eyes, breathing quietly as she lays back down. Her body still flows with red but he'd felt as it had drawn from his kiss, so he thinks he understands something. He begins to draw away her clothes and his own, thinking if this works he will be severely weakened with just how much it had drawn from him through a mere kiss. He does not ask why it makes a difference with his seed, but he'll do what he needs to, as long as it saves Saber, that's all that matters.

* * *

She can not respond with her voice. It feels dry and what energy his kiss gave already seems to be fading, her body trying to use it to close her substantial wounds but the energy feels like it is slipping away as easily as the wind. She needs more. A lot more.

She feels as his hands slip her pants from her legs and hears his buckle being removed. He kisses her body more, leaving her shirt on, she thinking it likely he does not want to see what has happened to her flesh and yet he continues, kissing and caressing her body until he is lower and continuing. With each kiss her body's skin seems to react, drawing of the energy from his body. No, she thinks. She needs the "other" energy. If she can use the potential for life there then she need not draw from Shirou. But it hurts to speak and it is hard to even breathe at this point. If only Shirou could understand and...

"Saber," he says quietly, caressing her cheek. "I'm going to do "that" now. Alright? I'll try to be gentle."

She tries to nod. She is not sure if he sees her actions, only that she feels it. True to his word, he is soft, leaning forward, holding her as he continues to kiss her, to give her small doses of living energy. Her body, her skin, everything draws from him and she feeds, almost as like a demon. She tries to control it, to make sure it is not too much, that she won't hurt Shirou with what she does but it is difficult to control. Still, his willingness to commit to the act in her condition... it brings tears to her eyes and a warmth she has not known for a very long time. She raises arms slowly and he helps her wrap them around his neck as he continues a slow and rhythmic motion. It continues until she feels a different energy and he pulls away slowly as he finishes the act. She does not wish to release him but does so in fear of hurting him further and drawing too much for his body to handle.

"Is that good enough.. Saber?" he ask. His voice is strained and she can hear him gasping for breath, weak from his exertions. Feeding her has taken its toll on his body.

She sighs, her body feeling some renewal in strength already. His efforts will not go to waste though it will take time before she can be at full fighting potential. More than she wishes but there is little choice in the matter. At least... she is still alive and able to be at his side. There is at least that. If she can last until the end then she can undo this entire mess and save him and herself this heartache and pain.

"I do not know if it is enough," she says, answering his previous question, resting her hands back on her stomach as her breathing feels less strained. "But I will not fade for the foreseeable future. Put your clothes back on and rest for now... We can only wait and see."

She does not hear his response as her mind fades back, her rest for once a little lighter than before.

* * *

He'd pulled away from her then, stroking Saber's cheek, kissing her lightly on the mouth. Even this act nearly makes him stumble as her body still draws energy from him, leaving him weak and weary, but he can see her flesh starting to pull closed, her skin becoming a little less pale. He can't believe such a ridiculous thing is working, but it is. He won't lose her tonight at least...

"Saber..." he whispers, sighing as he sits back and pulls on his jeans, buckling them quickly. They are damp with Saber's blood as is his whole body and as he walks over, picking up his bloodied shirt, he thinks he should change it, the thing soaked in her blood, but later. When Saber can stand again... if she can. For now, he'll wait here with her.

He bites back bitter tears, unsure of what to do if she can't recover or what will happen. How he'll explain the gaping hole at the side of his house when the police will inevitably come to question it, Saber's injury or the torn apart giant that blocks that hole...

His eyes go wide as he turns his head and stares at the great massive black figure who stares back at him with small beady red eyes that glow malevolently, blocking up that gaping hole in the wall with his great size. Berserker.

"Oh no..."

He says, his face paling as arms sink to his sides. The Berserker is back, somehow... and Shirou's body and Saber's are all but drained of energy. There's nothing he can do anymore against this thing, he thinks as a tear runs down his left cheek and a massive hand reaches out for him, blocking out all light.

"Saber..." he whispers, "I'm sorry."


	23. Chapter 23 - the One he was Able to Save

A mass of energy, a pulsing thing of large, incredible mana that seems to push down on her and crush her being wakens her from an otherwise deep sleep. It is too much for Saber to ignore and her eyes snap open as she stares up towards the giant who regards her momentarily before turning away, his feet thudding on the floor, sending vibrations through the earth. She does not know if he didn't see her or if he purposely left her, snubbing her as a warrior, but as she tries to rise, she finds it difficult, her body fighting her every step of the way.

"Berserker!" she yells towards the back of the lumbering giant. "Berserker! Come back here!"

But her arms and legs, they all feel heavy. Trying to rise is a difficulty in its own right, her balance wobbly. The mana Shirou gave her is working its magic through her system, sealing wounds that should be lethal but she is uncertain if it is enough. Even drawing out her armor is denied her as it refuses to appear upon her being. For now she is a warrior naked of armament.

She picks up her jeans, putting them on as hurriedly as possible, finding it taking far more than she'd like, she struggling to properly grasp the material and pull it up her slender leg. Each jerk and pull sends a sharp stinging pain up her spine, making her wince. She feels as weak as a small child right now, but she won't let it stop her. Shirou needs her. She can still feel him through their shared link. He is alive. Why? She does not know, but he is alive, and for now, that is all that matters, so she pushes through the pain, dressing as best she can so she may chase after the young man who gave her another chance at life.

"Wait for me, Shirou," she whispers quietly. "I'll come for you. Just be patient."

She follows silently behind the giant, limping along at first but the energies slowly pushing through her system so she can walk more properly. Still though, each step, each push, drives a searing pain through her leg. Her shoulder screams at her and her body rebels, wishing to rest and lay back on the floor and fall asleep to recover, but she resist, gripping her chest with her good arm, digging nails into a wound that has barely shut only a half hour ago and wishes to reopen. The whole of her being wishes to give out and yet, she won't allow it. Shirou needs her.

She questions, however; why it is that this giant continues to travel with Shirou as such, holding him in its great paw, Shirou's body almost seeming to disappear behind that mass. Yet he is not hurt or damaged. He seems to be resting but continues to breathe as of now.

It isn't until the giant stops at the steps of Ryudou temple that Saber begins to worry, her eyes narrowing as she forces her energy to draw out the twisting blade of excalibur, the original brilliance it once had having since faded. What she saw earlier in her fight against Berserker must have been momentary, she thinks, seeing the swirling mass in her hand, feeling the dark weight that pulls at her limb almost seeming to want to tear it off, a flickering laughter scratching at the back of her skull.

No, she thinks as she pushes back those thoughts, pushing another to the forefront. When she defeats Berserker and the other servants and acquires the grail, she'll erase this whole history, this madness that has brought so much pain and turmoil and put it to an end. Use the very origin of this corruption to erase it. No matter what more comes from it after, she'll undo this tragedy, and the grail will be the means to that end.

Grip firming on the hilt of her blade, she begins her ascension up the steps of the temple, one painful dagger like step at a time.

* * *

He strokes her cheek, smiling down at the young girl whose body glows with a dull sheen, a reddish reflection under her skin. Kotomine can only smile, relishing in her suffering as the girl moans, the magical conduits holding her in place biting into her wrist as the grail itself eats away at her body. Such a beautiful, horrid thing, thinks Kotomine. It's even amusing how she keeps whispering the Berserker's name, pleading for him to save her life. It almost gives him a chuckle to think on such a thing.

"How long, Kotomine," says the golden servant behind him, arms crossed as he glares back towards the priest. "How long must we wait until we end this game?"

"Patience has never been your strong suit, has it, my friend?" says Kotomine teasingly.

"Kirei," says the golden being, "I would consider the waiting of ten years to be more than enough patience. I grow weary of this foolishness. Now... how long?"

"Not long now..." says Kotomine. "The girl draws forth her guardian. After he arrives, then all that we have left is our dear Saber to dispose of."

Gilgamesh regards him with cool eyes, a glimmer of anger flashing before them before turning away.

"That is not Saber," says the golden being. "The Saber I knew was an idealistic being with great standards that I relished crushing. This being is merely a blackened shell of that once beautiful knight. A mockery of everything she was!"

Kotomine grins, fingers rubbing at the cross about his neck.

"Truly?" says the priest. "I had no notion you cared so deeply for Emiya's servant. Should we find a way to salvage her being then so you may enjoy her properly?"

The golden being scoffs, uncrossing his arms.

"Don't mock me, Kotomine. You'd be wise to still that unsavory tongue of yours before it is cut out."

"So be it," says Kotomine, still fingering the small object at his neck. He stares towards the golden being enjoying the man's own anguish. It is not sadness for what Saber has become that the man regrets, thinks Kotomine, only that he couldn't break her and bring her to heel himself. The notion of breaking a strong woman like Saber is something of which the golden servant spoke often. Always chasing after women of similar repute to Saber but never truly satisfied with them and soon dismissing them off hand. Only Saber could ever really satisfy his need for power and now... because of the grail, even that is denied the great "king of heroes." It is so magnificently ironic that the very device that granted the golden being his extended stay on this plane of reality is the same thing that ended up crushing Emiya's servant. Kotomine can understand his servant's desires.

While the boy, Shirou Emiya, may be an extension of Kiritsugu's will, it is Saber who is the real link to those days from before when the war was initially waged. As Kotomine folds his hands behind his back, looking towards the stairs that boom with the Berserker's oncoming presence, he thinks, it will be quite enjoyable to see Saber again, and watch her renewed horror as she is broken and torn apart. While he may not have Kiritsugu of which to reap horrors upon, the servant and the boy will make more than adequate replacements. So beautiful will it be to see their combined despair. But... first thing first.

"Gilgamesh," he says as those echoes become ever louder. "I think you're being called to center stage."

"If ridding myself of this eye sore weren't expedient, I would sacrifice blades from my treasure to spill your blood, wretch," says the gold being in anger. "But for now... I'll push my irritation on this... braggart of a servant."

"You do that," says Kotomine. "I'll have preparations made for the summoning of the grail."

A chill wind brushes up his spine and Kotomine turns to regard the sky as a black swirl begins to appear in the skies above, warping time and space as it tears the heavens open.

It will not be long now, he thinks, before all man must return to god and repent of all their many sins. Not long at all.

* * *

Shirou had thought his life was going to end right there and then when Berserker had extended his great hand towards him, that palm extending outwards, expanding the darkness so his vision was completely blocked, he'd been certain that was the end. But instead, he'd been carried almost tenderly like a child? Taken away from Saber and whisked away at a gingerly pace. He supposes he should be thankful the being hadn't chosen to crush him or hadn't taken out any anger on Saber, though why not, he wonders? What is the Berserker's motive in this? Why take him alive and leave a wounded Saber like that when he had the perfect opportunity to kill her? Something about his objective seems very strange.

He'd thought they'd head towards the location of Berserker's master, but where the Berserker stops makes Shirou's heart race all the faster as he sees the clouds overhead darkening a deep red, the shadows blurring all light in the distance. On top of that is the outpouring of mana. A thing so thick he feels as if he's choking on it, like its blanketing his being in a chill feeling. Whatever is on top of that hill, at the top of the Ryudou temple, Shirou wants no part of. Yet, he has no choice in the matter as the giant begins to carry him up the steps, each step sending a tremor through his body that has nothing to do with the beast carrying him. He does not know what is happening, only that the whole of his being fears what is up above and when he looks back towards the steps that they have passed, he glimpses down seeing a blood stained figure in white a distance behind them, looking for all purposes like a deathly ghost. Except... the figure seems familiar...

The figure seems small and feminine in ratty clothes that hang from its body. Clothes he recognizes.

"Saber?" he whispers.

The giant lays him down, the bright light before him blinding. Shirou tries to look through it, gazing at a figure adorned in gold before him with a illumination behind him that burns at Shirou's retinas as hundreds of blades of every shape and color and make push through that horrid brilliance. Each blade marked with an impressive backing of power which Shirou finds himself able to read. He is able to see the history and make of each blade before him, seeming able to store it in his memory. It makes him afraid, seeing so many weapons seemingly pointed at him like that, but also... angry and willing to fight. He knows the golden being before them is an enemy that is a danger to those around him and that very same thing makes Shirou want to stop him. He grits his teeth, wondering just how many enemies he'll need to face in this ridiculous battle? When will it all end and when will the pointless death stop?

"So the wretch brings its own toy?" says the golden being in a sneer. "How quaint."

"Indeed," says a man unknown to Shirou, stepping before him, dressed in a Catholic robe, a golden cross shimmering on his neck.

"I hadn't expected to see you so soon in the procession, Emiya Shirou," says the man, his tongue seeming to slide over Shirou's name with relish. "But it is most... refreshing."

"Kotomine..." says the gold being, "Unless you wish me to drive one of my treasures through your back, then I'd recommend you step away."

"Of course," says the priest, glancing back again at Shirou. "You and I will get better acquainted after my servant... disposes of your little friend."

Before Shirou can reply, a blade flashes just to the left of the priest' ear, coming forward, aimed at the giant behind Shirou. The blade is knocked aside, slamming before Shirou in a flurry of sparks as it skids across the floor. Shirou finds himself scrambling away, back towards the bushes and safety as the giant hunches over, a low growl issuing forth from his throat that turns into a full throated roar. That noise echoes loudly on the steps as the giant puts all its power into that response. The titanic being has been challenged to a fight and there's no way he'll be backing down to some light show.

Still, thinks Shirou, glancing back towards the man adorned in gold. There's something unusual about that being that makes him doubt the capacity of the giant. For all his mana and great imposing strength, there is something terribly unsettling about the lights with their array of weapons and Shirou is truly uncertain of the possible outcome of the battle. For once, he's hoping the giant can prevail and the reason for that terrifies him.

The blade cuts past Kotomine's ear, making the smile on his face slip for a fraction as he considers his servant. The man glares back, his eyes narrowed as a white brilliance shines through.

"Is there something you'd like to say, Kotomine," says the servant. "Or are you going to stand there as that beast tramples you with his feet?"

The priest looks back towards the titan and steps away, forcing a smile on his lips. He will play Gilgamesh's game for the time being, but when the time comes, he will be delighted to thrust a blade through that man's shoulders and watch him despair as that blade cuts through his heart.

For now though... he steps back, watching, an amused expression on his face as he watches the titan begin its charge while Shirou Emiya scuttles away like a coward. Oh, if only Kiritsugu could see how useless his charge is, then he'd despair in the depths of agony. How truly delightful that would be.

"You dare raise your voice at me, mongrel dog!" the golden being screams, his face a mask of fury. "I will show you what happens to beasts who dare bite the hand of their betters!"

Shirou can only stare in grit silence as the giant Berserker charges forward, his great blade raised as the golden man loses his temper, his weapons quivering in their sheathes before being launched. Thirty or forty swords all hurled at one time and still the Berserker charges through, swinging that great stone sword wildly as the swords smash through his flesh. For every blade the giant manages to hurl aside, two find their mark, sinking deep into hardened flesh. Though this hardly does more than anger the titan, the barrage of blades coming at him are beginning to take their toll. Even Shirou can see that. Even with the blood running down his great mass, splattering over the floor, the man keeps charging through the horde of blades that rain down upon him and Shirou can only wonder... why? What motivates him so that he would take such injury? Could it really be the act of a challenge alone? He can't think the reason would be so simple as any sane man would stop and turn away as blades keep pelting flesh and opening up painful wounds. So why...?

He hears a moan to his right and turns his head, regarding a young woman of silver hair as a black liquid falls from the skies, burning her flesh. Her lips move as if whispering a name and Shirou's heart stops as recognition dawns on him. Berserker's master. What the hell is being done to her!? It looks like that substance is trying to peel away her flesh!

Shirou's fist clench, teeth grit as he stares back towards Berserker who continues to try to break a path through to the golden servant. Even with hundreds of blades crashing into his body, the Berserker keeps pushing forward, trying to crush the enemy before him to save his master and for this moment, Shirou makes a decision and chooses to ally himself with his enemy. He pushes off the floor, running towards the young girl who suffers before him. A life that needs to be saved which he can not ignore.

"Hold on! I'll get you out of this! Just hold on!"

He barely registers when the black shadow appears before him, that cross glimmering before his sight the first piece of recognition that dawns on him of what the shadow might be. Just a moment of clarity before a force slams into his chest, ribs seeming to cry out as they push against his heart and lungs, his body arching forward suddenly before it is launched backwards, tumbling over the floor. Shirou lies on the hard ground in stunned silence, trying to will his limbs to move, the shock of the blow still sending tingles of shivers through his body.

What? What was that, he thinks, trying to blink as his body reacts to the pain. F-feel like I got hit by a freight train. His mind feels foggy, his limbs weak as he tries to rise and even as he tries to push himself up, something slams down on his throat, making him gag, his body suddenly awake as fingers try to push the heavy object from his neck.

"Just like Kiritsugu," says the figure above him, pushing more weight down on his foot. "Trying to interfere with affairs not your own."

"Ggghhhkk! Ssstop!" Shirou hisses, struggling to breathe even the roars of the monster in his own battle beginning to dull as the intake of air is pained.

"Do realize, you forced my hand, Emiya Shirou," says the man above him. "It brings me no pleasure to do this."

The boot pushes down harder on his throat and Shirou finds himself gasping, the ability to draw breath cut away. His eyes bulge as his mouth opens wide, trying suck in air that won't fall back into his lungs. He swears he can hear the man laugh, a vibrating thing that sends shudders through his body, but he can't seem to push the man off to do anything about it. He's.. going to die here. Sakura... everyone... I'm sorry, he thinks, his eyes closing as his fingers begin to slip from the man's boot, his strength waning.

Something wet splatters on his face, hot and warm and the boot on his neck suddenly slides away with a final push. He coughs, turning to his side as he hears meat and bone part, blood pouring on his body, drenching him in its hot substance. Shirou stares in shock, watching as the priest' left eye stares at him with a surprised look from half his face on the floor. And only half.

Shirou turns his head to regard the figure in red, amber eyes locking with his own. For a moment he has a flash of memory from days prior of a woman in dark armor stepping before him, regarding him coldly and he smiles up at the being before him, tears welling in his eyes from relief. Though covered in blood, her expression as severe as ever, her presence brings him a peace that he can not explain as his protector and guardian stands before him. The one person he was able to save through the entirety of this hell.

"Saber..."


	24. Chapter 24 - the final servant

Blades cut through the giant's chest and body, tearing through his knees and elbows and still he charges, batting away the array of swords that rain down on him like arrows from the sky. Berserker looks upon the man with gold in a red haze filled rage. No honor in this one. No manners. No respect! And it all fills the giant with anger and hatred as he charges forth.

He, a being of once noble lineage, born from the very blood of gods themselves would not suffer to hide and make himself so low as the one before him. Even as his foes divested themselves of safety in carnal acts, he acted not. Even as one lay near helpless, still, he did not end her. Though it would benefit his master in the long run, where was the glory, the honor, in besting one who lay broken and uncovered as she? No. He wanted battle with the warrior who took one of his lives in fair combat. To bring her down and best her with his great sword. A test of strength and courage of which she had much. As compared to the one before him... who has none.

A man dressed in gold, raised up by title alone, hiding himself behind an army of nameless weapons as a sorcerer, a horde that seems endless. Even as blades and sword gouge at his eyes, tear at his front and rake his arms and legs, he hurtles himself forward to crush the armored fool and divest him of the gold that adorns him, the only beauty on his entirety. A false thing. But even false things are dangerous.

Already, he has lost a number of precious lives in his charge forward towards this faker and yet even as hot blood runs down his limbs, still that being merely sneers, looking towards him derisively. Berserker will teach such a being what it is to face one born of the gods! Lives though it may have cost him, he will crush this false being before him!

"I'll save you! Hold on!" he hears. It is the voice of one of his enemies, the young boy. Berserker can only regard his movements with a sense of pride as the young man charges head long towards his master to rescue her. He knows not why this one would do such a thing for an enemy, only that it is an act of memory near forgotten. The acts of a hero. His heart swells with emotion at the thought as he turns back to the arrogant being before him. Yes, he'll let the young busy himself with saving the master, while he himself deals with the threat of the false one.

Blade raised, Berserker readies himself to bring it down when chains spring forth as if from the air itself, shining of a brilliance that defies the armor of the false one himself. Binding Berserker and pulling arms and limbs back even as he is mere inches away from the coward before him. It enrages him. This... this sham of a battle as he is so close yet so far from his enemy at once as these magical bindings hold him strong, testing his strength. If he were only a bit closer he could lean down and bite off the man's wretched skull and be done with this charade! But he is too far! He rears his head back, roaring in outrage, angered at the gods and cursing them for their humiliation of his being. When will such treachery end?!

He pulls at these binds, straining at them, feeling as they begin to weaken when the false one says words he can hear and a flurry of that nameless army of weapons assails him, hitting bone and flesh over and over, crunching and ripping meat and tendon away so it sounds loudly in his own ears. To struggle against this army of weapons and the magical binds as well... is too much, even for one who is half god. So close yet so far from his goal, this task proves too much... even for the great Heracles. He shuts his eyes one final time as a blade forces itself through the thickness of his chest, past the hardened bone to the tender heart beneath, rending it in two. It is over.

He leaves a final wish to the boy, a task insurmountable, but one left to him none the less. Save her, he thinks, before his body falls back against the binds and he grants his essence back to the throne of heroes from hence it came.

* * *

Saber had followed, her body in a pained state, each step seeming to send a glass shard up her foot, and still she'd persisted. More so with the oppressive amounts of mana that encircle the area, the feel of the grail all around her, seeming to take its fingers crawling over her skin, trying to dig under her flesh. It sickens her, this feeling. Like some slime wrapping around her core. No. The feeling is quite horrible and it leaves her feeling sickly, but she pushes on, because of him... The man who would try to restore her even in the damaged state she was in. Who seems willing to take her burdens unto himself if need be. This pushes her forwards.

What pushes her more are the sudden screams from the giant and flashes of light above the stair case that were not there before. Though the pain has yet to subside, she pushes ahead, running at an agonizing gait as she reaches the top stairs, ready to call his name when a blade grazes her left shoulder and she has to dodge to her right to avoid being impaled by more.

She rises from the floor to see the giant batting away a flurry of swords that issue forth from a bright pit, the swords launched like volleys of arrows. She recognizes this sight before her. The being dressed in ornate gold as he laughs at the titan who is covered in metal shards. Her hand tightens into a fist as eyes narrow into a glare. It's the archer of her time from the previous war. Gilgamesh. What is he doing here?

Energy pushes out of her as she draws her sword once more, the swirling vortex of red on the blackened blade pushing against her skin, a light laughter echoing in her skull. She is about to charge forwards when she hears a name familiar to her. A name she finds repulsive from lips she has not heard before. She turns her head to regard the scene before her.

Before her is a man garbed in black with a struggling youth beneath him, having difficulty breathing. A youth with bright red hair and pale skin without a shirt on. One she has come to be very close to.

Her grip tightens on her blade as teeth grind against one another before she charges the man and thrust her blade, pushing it between his shoulder blades with a satisfying crunch. The man trembles as he turns towards her slowly, eyes wide as blood trickles from his lips.

"Send Kiritsugu my regards, holy one," she snarls, before pulling the blade upwards, bisecting the man's skull in two, letting the body teeter to the side and fall with a sickly thud. She regards the youth at her feet with a stern look as she extends her hand to him, a cold feeling in her being that slowly starts to thaw looking upon the youth. "Do you need a hand, Shirou?"

She sees that warm smile cross his lips, a light that shines on his eyes and warm fingers that curl around her hand. All of it is of a such that it nearly makes Saber forget who she is as she pulls Shirou up to his feet, her heart thudding against her chest as she tries to analyze the feelings she has and tries to understand them. She steps forward, unsure of what she is going to do as she leans towards him.

"Saber..." Shirou says with a cock of his head. "I'm so glad to see you. I..."

There is a chiming noise to her right, making Saber's heart stop for a moment, her breath catching and she reacts instantly, pushing Shirou backwards, nearly hurling him out of the way as a blade scrapes her lower ribs. She grits her teeth as she holds her stomach, feeling warm blood trickle down on her fingers. She stares angrily towards the man in gold.

"Archer!" she shouts, "what do you think you're doing?!"

The man cocks his head, one eye narrowing as he glares at her.

"Isn't it obvious? I'm ridding myself of a nuisance who would corrupt my wife!"

"What are you talking about?" she snarls, her eyes lighting.

The man starts to laugh, a loud guffawing noise as he regards her, not as another person, but as an object to be obtained and dominated.

"Don't tell me you've forgotten already?" says the gilded man. "I proposed to you on that day before the grail exploded in your face. True, I'd reconsidered my position seeing you reemerge as a blackened pathetic wisp of what you were, but even as you are, there is still that pride and fire within you that I so adore! And no man but I is allowed to touch such finery as you! Come, my queen and let us consummate our marriage!"

Each word makes her grind her teeth, one against the other, each one makes anger surge through her so pain is forgotten and her heart begins to race, only to slow as a burning simmering hatred wraps around her heart. Even the laughter and touch of the grail is forgotten in that emotion as she calms it to a boil ready to explode.

"You... would dare speak to a king so?" she snarls.

"You forget your place, Saber," says the man. "I am being magnanimous with my forgiveness of your form. I would advise you take this generosity offered you before you make me irate and I do something you'll regret."

He says this as he extends his hand out towards her, that wicked smile crossing his lips, eyes agleam, seeming so much like the image of Kiritsugu she has seen haunting her, goading her, raping her and torturing her mind! Her body shivers, trembles with that rage as the slow boil now froths and bubbles violently. Hands crunch into fist, blackened armor forming over her body, covering her flesh, the black visor forming and masking her eyes. All other emotion and objectives are forgotten. She must destroy this man, then she may obtain the grail. She hears an echoing laughter in the back of her skull, but ignores it, her rage towards the being in front of her absolute. Her pride will not let her back down. Not at this point. Not ever.

"Archer," she says. "The only one who will regret anything is the one who refers to me as nothing more than a mare to be tamed! Now ready yourself and learn what it is to step between a dragon and her wants!"

"Dragon..?" says the man in a half whisper when she launches herself from the floor, stone and debris crunching as she charges at Gilgamesh, intent on rending him limb from limb. Only then will her rage be sated and she be at peace enough to properly think and handle the grail. For now... there is only the fight to be settled in blood.

* * *

Shirou holds her hand which is like a hot cauldron that wraps around his fingers. He smiles gingerly back at Saber when he notices her seeming to step towards him, her eyes with a strange dreamy look. Even as wet with blood as she is, it sets him on edge, his heart palpitating rapidly as he is wondering what she is going to do when she pauses and suddenly shoves him hard against the stone floor. He lands with a thud and props himself up in surprise.

"Saber! What are you-..."

That's when he notices, the blood trickling down between her fingers just under her ribs. She's still injured, he thinks. What is he going to do? What...

Another voice assails his ears, that of a man and Shirou looks back towards the man in gold as that man and Saber exchange words. The man seems to be under the impression that Saber belongs to him and Saber is pushing back against those words. Shirou has no idea if these two really did mean anything to each other, only that... the man is threatening Saber and with the giant gone, Shirou worries for her safety. He'd almost give her away if it meant she wouldn't be hurt but seeing the emotions cross her face and how the man speaks, Shirou thinks that such a thing wouldn't be any better. So what's he going to do, he thinks, hands clenched in fist. He just barely nearly lost her not a few hours ago and if he lets her fight this man then he's going to lose her for certain! Especially in her current condition. Whatever bravado she thinks she's pushing with that armor of hers, Shirou knows she's at her limits. What is she thinking? She...

Then Saber is leaping forwards, blade raised and the man yells in fury as blades launch themselves from the floating portals and Shirou can only watch in horror, helpless to do anything but stare in useless fear. Blades spurt forth from the white light, attacking Saber who just manages to push the swords aside with her thrust, though just barely. Blades fly back and forth, one flung aside, cutting his shoulder. He grits his teeth, dealing with the pain when he hears her cry out.

"Saber!" he yells, seeing as a blade imbeds itself in her shoulder. Still, it slows her only momentarily, as she charges ahead. What can he do, he mutters.

* * *

Swords assail her from all sides, making it near impossible to make head way without running into one. Though she pushes more than a few aside with excalibur morgan, the blades keep coming, one finding its way through her defenses, burying itself in her left shoulder, ripping a cry from her lips. She stares, momentarily stunned as a blade with a golden hilt quivers in her shoulder, blood running down her arm from it. Quivering fingers reach for the weapon, intending to tear it out.

"Let's end this game already, Saber," says the golden tyrant mockingly. "Submit to me and I promise no more harm will come to you!"

"Take your sweet promises and throw them in a sty, faker!" Saber yells back, clenching her fist, willing herself to ignore the pain in her shoulder. There are more important matters of which to attend before addressing her injury.

"Have it your way, you fool woman!" says Archer, his smile slipping into a sneering face devoid of any joy. "Never say I didn't offer you the opportunity for a simpler way!"

No, she thinks, looking towards that rage filled face before her, he offered a simpler way well before this. A path that could lead to luxury and lack for wont, but... that is not her path, she thinks as metal is knocked aside by her sword. Corrupted as she may be, it is not her way to seek something so simple or free of concern. Another blade is knocked aside as another finds its way to her right knee, crunching flesh and bone, bringing her low. Her way was never one of ease, nor would she wish it to be, she thinks as she slowly rises to her feet, batting away more swords that are launched at her, somehow managing to make headway towards the golden being.

If things were meant to be easy, she never would have taken up the sword in the stone or taken up rule of her peoples of Camelot. If things were easy, she'd never have taken Excalibur and fought with sweat and toil against a tide of mutinous descent trying to protect those beneath her. That is not her way and never will be.

One final step forwards as she is only feet away from Gilgamesh before chains sprung from the earth suddenly wrap around her body and pull her head, spreading her wide, doubling the pain in her knee and shoulder.

"Let us end this, Saber," says the golden man, cutting the distance between them to place a hand on her cheek. "Say you give your will to me and I will release you from these bindings and keep you safe from any harm."

She snarls, feeling his skin as if it were a hundred vipers and spits in his porcelain like face.

"I would rather copulate with a dog than submit to you!" she screams.

The gold being lifts a hand to his cheek, fingers coming away with her saliva, eyes wide as if stunned before he turns around, backhanding her with enough force to split her lip and make her hear her jaw grinding as it resist being broken by the blow.

"Then so be it!" the man screams in a crazed maddened haze. "If you wish to be slain as a dog then I will make it so!"

He turns away, raising his hand as that white gate expands, blades slipping their pointed heads outwards as if looking to sate their thirst on her blood. She stares, her heart slowing as she pulls at the bindings. They are but regular chains but she is uncertain she can break them before those adders are launched through her body.

She looks towards the reddened horizon, the dark slime of the angra manyu pouring down on the shoulders of the pained girl baring Irisviel's face. She was so close. So close to ending this and undoing the mistakes of her past and yet so far from it as well. How could she have been so foolish to believe such a thing.

A laughter echoes in her head as a feeling crawls just beneath her skin, giggling in glee as the grail prepares to receive her soul anew and renew its assault on her being. What, she thinks. What was the point of it all? She wonders idly what the whispering is and why she can hear it as if it comes from outside her. What it could all mean?

"Excalibur Morgan!" a voice shouts suddenly and Gilgamesh turns his head suddenly, halting his execution of her as she turns her head herself, seeing as energies wrap around a sword that is a double of her own, blackened red energies swirling about the body as with her own. Excalibur Morgan.

"Shirou...?" she whispers, her heart stopping in dread as the golden being turns his attentions towards the boy.

"What kind of trickery is this?" the man snarls.

"Shirou!" she shouts, straining with all her might for a very different reason now, as she watches the young man she cares about with utter fear. "Run, you fool!"

* * *

As he hears Saber scream in pain, Shirou clenches his fist in fear, his heart stopping. What can he do? He can't stand here helplessly, doing nothing! He has to do something or else he'll lose her right in front of his eyes... again.

The image of Berserker bringing his sword down through her body repeats itself in his mind and he hisses, shaking with rage. What can he do? How can he stop this insane slaughter? Saber has no chance against a man such as the golden servant before them, so what can they do to win? What?!

Eyes squeeze tight, teeth grit as he ponders running forwards when a voice rings in his ears, an image of a dark skinned man with silver hair looking at him sternly from eyes of steel. "Memorize these words, as when the time comes, you will need them."

As the man's lips move, Shirou relaxes his stance, releasing the tension that builds within him, repeating the words said, the spark of energy tapping into his reserves, a liquid energy rushing through his body as he repeats those words that were said once before.

"I am the bone of your sword..."

The bone of the sword he knows, the sword he has seen countless times and sees before him. Arthur's blackened blade, Excalibur Morgan. His mind begins to analyze the components, remembering its history and breaking it down part by part.

"Steel is my body and fire is my blood..."

Steel, the component his body must be composed of to bring such mystical weapons to light. Fire to forge that blade and bring it forth into reality. Fire as the heat of his desires and steel as the embodiment to realize them.

"These hands... which nothing will hold, unknown to life but known too well to death and failure..."

Hands which have lost lives close to him over and over so quickly it has overwhelmed his very being. His mind needing to black everything out just to hold that last strip of sanity he has remaining. Eyes that plead with him as they fall to their deaths, the sounds of bone cracking oh so very loud in his ears, echoing hollowly, putting a strain and weight on his shoulders as the blade is engraved in his flesh.

"I call upon thee..."

An echo of a past not his own but a nightmare that is far too close to his reality. A fate he can not escape. So instead... he must embrace it and bring it forth to his aide.

"Excalibur Morgan!"

The blade is called forth, a strain on his body that is heavy and dark, pulling at his flesh even as he holds it before him, a swirling mass of hatred and destruction and despair. The blade of corruption, just as his being. But if this sword can save Saber, then he'll embrace it all the same.

"What kind of trickery is this?" the gold being snarls, glaring at him with a hatred in his eyes that matches his own feelings towards the being. He raises the sword above his head, drawing forth those energies which sap at his very being.

"Excalibur... Morgan!" he cries, a vast amount of concentrated mana lashing out towards the golden being. This is it, his last card, if this didn't go through he thinks as that blast fires forward, then there's no hope.

The explosion resonates mere feet away from him, engulfing the golden man in its flames, vibrating with a red glow as it pulses before scattering. Shirou holds his breath, hoping against hope that he has managed success and conquered his foe, and for a moment it seems he may have. Only for a moment.

The mist disperses, showing an array of shields, some showing cracks but most still flawlessly pristine. They fall away, disappearing in a shimmering light revealing the golden being to be untouched, his face a mask of rage and disgust. Oh no, thinks Shirou, the pit of his stomach dropping beneath him.

"If that was the extent of your abilities, Mongrel," says the being, the glowing lights suddenly turning towards him, blades of a vast number and variety now pointing down at him. "Then it's less than pathetic. Curse the gods in hell when I send you..."

There is a loud crack as of metal snapping that rings in his ears followed by a spray of blood, the eyes of the golden man staring wide as he is brought into the air by excalibur morgan, the blade ripping into his chest before a free hand curls at the belt at his waist, ripping the blade free from his shoulder and ribs. What is gold is stained red in bloody gore, the man gasping as he tries to turn his attentions to Saber.

"You bastard!" she screams. "How dare you try and harm Shirou?! How dare you?!"

Her cries are loud and shrill, making Shirou's heart race, not in excitement, but fear as a memory of the past as Saber slams her sword back into the golden man's throat, his one good arm turning to grab the blade, staring at Saber with wide, angry eyes before his body goes limp, blood dripping from Saber's blade.

She tilts the sword, letting the man's body fall to the floor with a thud, the lights that made his vast array of weapons beginning to fade just as those blades that embedded themselves in Saber's body begin to disperse, leaving bloody injuries in their wake but leaving Shirou otherwise relieved.

"It is good you are well, Shirou," she says in a quiet tone. "But don't commit to such foolish acts again."

Shirou's arms slump, he sighing. It really was an insane thing he did, and for a moment he felt Saber was as when he first met her, if only for a moment. That same anger and rage, but her voice seems calm now as she walks towards the silver haired girl and the dark matter that drips from the sky.

"Yeah," says Shirou. "I'll try and keep to that. Now let's get that girl away from that thing and get out of here."

"No," says Saber, her voice sharp and hard.

Shirou pauses, looking towards the bloodied woman, wondering at her words.

"No. What do you mean no? We have to get her away from that stuff and find a way to close that hole!"

"No, Shirou," says the woman in dark armor, turning towards him. "That... darkness you see from the hole in the sky? That is the grail itself. That is the thing for which you and I have been fighting for all this time. It is the thing which I will use to erase my past... and yours."

* * *

Author's note

thanks to all my readers for the continued support as we come to the closing chapters for fate route alter. I debated quite a bit how to go about defeating Gilgamesh and I think this came out nicely. In case any question why the chains were able to hold Heracles and Medusa but not Saber, the binds of Enkidu grow more powerful if the being is a demigod but if not... well, then they're regular chains and with B level strength, they're not much for holding Saber. Thanks again for reading and I hope you'll continue to enjoy the chapters yet to be released.


	25. Chapter 25 the Grail's Worth

Shirou's mouth feels dry as he licks his lips, uncertain what to say towards the woman in black armor who regards him with cool amber eyes devoid of emotion or concern for the small girl who suffers just behind her. That in itself is enough to warrant Shirou's concern, but what is worse is what she said just now. A thing he tries to process but is unable to.

"W-what do you mean that thing is the grail? Isn't the grail some holy cup or something?"

The woman is silent for a moment, pursing her lips as she regards him before she nods.

"The "cup" is but a mere container for the overflow of raw magical power that courses through the conduit that makes up the grail. That flowing dark mass is the grail itself. The thing under which I suffered for ten eternal years."

Ten years, he thinks. The nightmares from then came ... because of that?

"Then why do you want it?!" he shouts. "It's insane to want something that made you suffer like that!"

"Hush, Shirou," she says, as if trying to calm a petulant child. "The grail is but a tool. A tool to grant us our desires and wishes without limit."

"But at what cost, Saber?! How can this be worth it!"

"How is it not!?" she shouts back, stunning him. "All of this.. .this bloodshed... is this what you really want? If I take the grail now- then I prevent this madness! I keep myself from ever drawing Caliburn back in my time and in effect prevent all these horrors in this time from occurring! That is why I want the grail. Isn't such a thing worthwhile?"

He is silent for a moment, thinking on her words. All the death and lives lost, to have it all undone by the grail. Is that possible? To see Sakura and Fujine and Issei... everyone back and alive... Isn't such a thing worthwhile in the end? But... He looks towards the woman in dark armor as her pale hair blows, cool eyes regarding him.

"Then... I'd never have met you..." he says in a quiet voice.

"That is correct," she says flatly. "And all these horrors will be no more than a midsummer's dream. Isn't that worthwhile?"

He stills his voice, his lips quivering, hands clenched. Yes, he'd never see Saber again, but everyone would return to his life and he'd continue about things as if normal. Almost. With nothing having changed and yet... how can he let go and make their deaths meaningless as a result?

He lifts his head, turning to the woman who has been at his side as she raises her sword towards the girl. He can't allow this. Even if it seems like the best course of action to follow it feels wrong. Like something in him will die forever if he allows her to take this action. An unforgivable sin. So he acts in the only way he knows how.

"Saber! Stop!" he yells, throwing his hand towards her, feeling it burn insanely as he pulls it back to his chest, the final line of energy from the seal in his hand being burnt away. The last connection to Saber in that one seal... gone.

"You know what you have done?" she says in a hard edged voice. "You try and prevent me from my duty to both my country and your well being?! How foolish can you truly be?"

She scoffs, her eyes narrowed in agitation as she shakes her head.

"It does not matter. A seal's use is limited, based on the will of the servant and how generic your order is. And I can deny your order."

"You can... deny my order," says Shirou in shocked surprise. "You mean you're going to kill that girl so you can fulfill your wish?! The Saber I know would never do such a thing!"

"The Saber you know has cut down several bodies already for that very goal, or do the beings I killed not count as real to you?"

He stares back in stunned silence, unable to answer. She is right. Each person, as powerful as they were, was still a human being that she cut down, in his name no less! To protect him. How would this be any different?

She sighs, drawing back her blade.

"When I cut this person down then the grail will form into its proper container and I can make the wish that will erase all this. Foolish as you are, you will thank me when this is all over. If you remember..."

She raises her blade, intent on her goal to split the girl who shivers in pained cries beneath the touch of the corroded mana and Shirou acts without thinking.

"Saber! Stop!" he screams, running towards her with blade drawn, a duplicate of her own still held in his hands. He rushes towards her with eyes blurred by tears, only barely seeing a shadow turn in his direction, a flash of black and red swinging towards him and a sudden sharp pain across his chest as he falls backwards on the floor.

As he skids across the floor, he thinks, it's not the pain from Saber's blade that stings so much as her betrayal of him and her actions in turn, acting so selfishly as she is. He can't stand it and even if he can't fight properly with this sword he has to find a way to stop her. Stop this woman he cares about who he has given himself over to. He simply needs to find a way! He...

A hard force slams into his chest, a boot crunching on his wrist making him cry out. He tries to hold on to the sword but the pain is so much as he feels his wrist beginning to grind that he has to release his grip on the blade which is quickly kicked aside, far from his reach. As the boot is removed from his wrist he tries to rise only to be forced back down roughly, a hard and warm boot placed on his chest, a blade tilting his chin upwards.

"Shirou Emiya," she says. "It is over, the grail is mine. Even if it cost your life, I must complete this mission. It is my duty as king..."

She pauses in her words as a tear drifts down her left eye.

"And as your friend. Do not make me do this, for I will do what must be done for all of us, even if it hurts more than hell itself. So do not make me hurt you."

He sees her tears causing a pain within himself. He wishes to accept her words, but the choking miasma of the mana about him says otherwise. He can't allow this. Even if it hurts her.

"Sorry, Saber," he says. "Even if you think this is right, I can't allow this. Not if there's another possible way. Even if it could do what you think it will... it can't be right! You know this..."

She stares at him momentarily. Quiet before she lets out a low breath.

"You are but a fool, Shirou. A loving fool."

She shakes her head slowly and turns away from him, taking her weight off him.

"This will be done, Shirou. There is naught you can do. So if you do not wish to be cut down, do not interfere."

She once more raises her blade and Shirou wonders what he can do. Even if he rushed for the other sword it'd be too late for him to do anything. He needs something... now!

"When the time comes, you will need a blade of a light greater than her own. Remember this when you have to put Saber down."

Archer's words ring in his ears and he recalls what the man said, what it is he must do. A sword greater than her own? But what could... He blinks as he remembers something from his nightmare. A sword shining brightly, untainted and uncorrupted where eyes not of amber, but of jade stared back at the reflection marked from... excalibur. The promised sword of victory. Arthur's sword, the sword of the being about to commit an irredeemable act before him. Her sword.

He shuts his eyes, releasing his old on the tainted blade, letting it fade from his conscious as he refocuses his energies, speaking the words of his chant once more.

"I am the bone of your sword..."

* * *

Her body even now burns horribly, lashing at her flesh as she resist the command seal, the order given by her master. It is a pain like any other and one she can push aside after so many years of being under the grail's thumb, tortured endlessly and mercilessly. It is but another pain to endure as she stares with anger and sadness towards the silver haired girl before her.

It is not so much the command he gave her which sets her on edge, her heart beating with sadness, thrusting against her chest as she raises her sword to cut down but a mere child. It is that he can not trust her to do what is right. Shirou Emiya can not trust her as king to do what is right and correct the rifts in the time lines that have caused such atrocities, to rectify the mistake that brought this all about. To keep herself from drawing caliburn.

Even as she shuts her eyes, she thinks back to a time when war rang out, the wind blowing violently over grassy fields with her peoples falling back to the armies outside their borders flooding inside. Even as a child, she'd known, known they needed a leader, someone to look up to, someone to keep the enemy out. And if one would not rise to the occasion then she would. That had been her reason, her motive, she thinks, for drawing caliburn. That promised blade. But noble the cause may have been, it still led to ruin.

She can see that naive young girl even now, with golden locks running over her head, blowing in her eyes, a simple white tunic and loose baggy pants about her body. And still, she believed, believed she could do what those far older with greater wisdom could not. How utterly foolish.

She raises her blade, placing it over her head to bring it down on the young girl even as the grail whispers, its fingers trailing over her mind and body, telling her to do this, that it is her wish. Then is it not right to do this and complete her wish?

She remembers at that time when she withdrew her blade, that great sword from the stone, that she longed for a hero. Someone to set right what was wrong with the world and for the briefest of moments she'd seen a monstrous knight in black armor raising a black sword to strike her down before she could use that sword. But there is no horrible knight, she thinks now as she raises her sword towards her younger self. Only a woman desperate to save her people... even if she must become the villain. And there is no one who can save her from herself.

A tear runs down her cheek as she stares into her own frightened eyes that still hold a firm grasp on the sword, raising it infinitely slow to avoid an oncoming attack. How she wishes someone would stop her from this act, but it must be done. As the blade comes down towards the youth, she hears words that strike at her core and pauses, turning her head. The scene before her shifts, and as she is brought back to the present she sees Shirou rushing towards her with sword outstretched. A sword she has not seen for years until recently, if only briefly when she used it to down the giant. Excalibur.

She hears his cry of desperation, yelling her name, wanting her to stop him. But isn't that what she asked him to do of her? To stop her? Even as she raises her sword, it is slow, she mesmerized by the view and look of the blade that she once held so very many years ago. A pristine blade, clear and pure. A blade of promise and hope, made to push back the darkness. A hero's blade to stop villainy. Her sword no more, but now his. To.. Stop her.

A smile curves her lips as she lowers her arm, feeling as the blade pierces her armor and thrust into her chest, splitting her heart. She stares wide eyed, her lips parted as blood dribbles down her chin.

"S-stop... Saber!" he murmurs, keeping his head low, avoiding her gaze. "Stop!"

His blade pushes through her body deeper, the pain horrible as it pushes through her ribs and armor. She gasp, the pain radiating through her being. A pain she has caused herself. She sighs, releasing her blade which clatters to the floor, discarded.

"I'm sorry... Saber.." she hears him saying. "I'm sorry. Please..."

She raises a hand to his face, the face she has grown so fond of in such a short time, wiping the tears from his eyes.

"Do not cry," she says through a strained voice. "You did what is right and prevented me from making a horrible mistake. You stopped me from becoming the villain I detested. For that... I thank you."

"Saber," he says, still shaking his head, unable to look at her even as her body bleeds out. "I..."

"My name is not Saber," she says quietly.

"What?" he says, raising his head slowly to regard her, eyes wide and shivering.

"It is Altria," she says leaning forward even as the blade cuts deeper into her flesh. She tilts his head up towards her even as his grip on her blade all but falls away. It is good then, she thinks, as she places her lips against his, giving him one final parting gift before she too must leave, the voices in her head fading now that everything is over. Screaming in anguish, but fading, no longer seeming pleased to be collecting her as they were earlier even as they stretched limbs out towards her. This she can feel, but it doesn't matter anymore. She has done her duty and there is but one thing left.

She pulls away slowly, looking at him.

"Am I your king," she ask.

He is dumbstruck at her words but nods.

"Then there is one final duty I have for you that you must complete before I fade. When you remove this blade from my body... I command you... destroy the holy grail."

The limbs that reached for her mind suddenly pause, shivering, as if unsure of what to do. Unlike her. She has her duty to complete.

"But... Saber..." he says.

"Do it. It is my order as king and your duty as a hero. The hero I always wanted to be."

With those words, her body slips, her energy and strength now gone, resisting both the pain of the command seal and her own death is too much. It is all left to him now and she knows he will complete his duty, because... she believes in him.

* * *

The sword of light clatters to the floor, his grip on it loosed when Saber... no, Altria, leaned forward and kissed him, his pain and anguish for his actions too much to bear even as she disappears from before him in golden light, her words still ringing in his ears. He shivers, trembling even as he sniffles, looking at that damnable blade. He killed her and she called him a hero? What kind of hero kills his own friends? What kind of hero...

"Aaaauuughhhh!" he hears the silver haired girl cry out and his eyes widen, memory of where he is and what he is supposed to be doing coming back to him.

The pulsing blackness above seems to froth at the mouth, seemingly aware it must hurry and commit to its actions before it is halted even as a molten liquid pours hot and steaming on the floor behind the girl, seeming to come for him. Him and the girl.

His eyes narrow with bitterness and hatred. That thing, it's the fault of that thing that everything here happened. Why he lost his family. His friends. Saber...

He leans down quietly and picks up the blade, feeling so heavy now with the weight of all the blood and death upon it. But it will be enough to do what needs be done and bring down the incarnation of all that is evil. He raises the promised sword over his head, drawing forth the energies from the surrounding fields and air, drawing it forth, glowing ever brighter as the energy within it increases, the black miasma seeming to let out a shrill noise into the sky as if to give him pause or fear. But he fears no more. What more can it do to him? Take his life? He's lost his family, his friends and even his love to this... abomination. It can do nothing more to him than what it has already done. Even his dreams and beliefs are gone. There is nothing left. Nothing but the words given to him by a long dead king. It is all that remains. It will have to do.

His grip on the blade tightens, the energies piling up to its own cry that drowns out all other noise as he yells that word to end everything.

Excalibur.

* * *

authors note:

thank you dear readers for reading this far. Your comments have pushed me forward on this endeavor. This has been a real work of love and I've enjoyed every minute of it. I could end the story here but this is not where I wish to end it as I'd like something happier for our hero. Stay tuned as there are more chapters to come.


	26. Chapter 26 - faded dreams

Her steps feel heavy and she's tilting on her balance, almost slipping as she walks. Breathing is getting a lot harder. There's not much time left, she thinks. Not much at all. Is he here, she wonders. He can't be gone at a moment like this! He...

Her eyes fall upon his shape just ahead of her, coming back to sit on the porch, his body wet and slick with sweat. He hasn't seen her yet as he is focused on the blade held in his hands, a black thing that shimmers with dark energy. Every day he forces himself to summon that blade, to work with it and train until his muscles are sore and he's about to pass out and even then, he is still watching over her.

He's always been like that, she thinks. Ever since he saved her from the grail, even though, even back then, it was too late. She still remembers, remembers as the angra mainyu burned her skin and made her body shudder as all the trapped souls within her screamed, pushing against the confines of her body, wishing to be released and joined with the angra. Her body had raged with these angered opposing forces wanting to crush her body between them and in front of her seemed to be a black devil ready to open her up to make that happen.

There had been... and then there hadn't. The shadow had dispersed in beautiful lights, a young man with red hair staring back at her with amber eyes as a single tear ran down his cheek. Her little brother. Illya had sighed, a shudder running through her body, wondering why he was here? She had been able to hear the bubbling liquids behind her, feel as that scalding acid burned at her flesh. This was the end. It was really too bad. She really had wanted to get to know her brother better. Instead they'd both die here, wouldn't they? Or he'd kill her and have whatever wish he wanted granted. Or so she'd thought...

Even as she'd given in, a bright light had pushed at her mind, a light that burned so making her open her eyes to look, to see what was happening that actually seemed to be pushing away the angra mainyu that fell upon her limbs. What she saw shocked and surprised her.

Her brother, holding a sword of purest white emanating a powerful light that seemed to be the enemy to the very origin of the grail. It pushed the darkness back, pushing back that boiling liquid, forcing such a massive thing back even as it screamed, seeming alive. The very souls within her seemed to respond and calm as that sword glowed ever brighter, shining like the sun itself.

When it seemed her eyes could no longer handle the glory she beheld he yelled a single word before a flash ripped forth from that blade.

Excalibur. The fabled legendary blade. Why did brother have it, she thought.

No sooner was the word spoken then a flash of intense heat washed over her, ripping through the angra mainyu and burning it away, turning all it touched to ash within that light. All darkness was ripped away. A thunderous sound echoed in her ears followed by a booming explosion and with that explosion she felt a lightness within her as the souls held within her body were suddenly released, her body falling free of its confines, no longer held by the dark mana that once restrained her. Yet, she never touched the ground.

Instead, strong arms caught her, lifting her light form up, a soft smile from tender eyes looking down on her from golden eyes which seemed to have experienced an inordinate amount of pain before this. And they had left, as simple as that.

He'd taken her, realizing her condition was unsalvageable but taken her all the same because she was his sister. She'd been fine with it she'd told him. She knew the limits of her body and that this would be the end. She'd known it for years now. It was only a matter of time. He'd nodded his head in acceptance and she'd gone day by day, living with her brother.

He no longer went out, went to school or did anything out of the house except shop for groceries. He moved almost as if he were half dead, only an empty body housing nothing inside it. She didn't know why either and no one came to visit or called even though she knew he had friends. There were pictures after all, pictures of two women, one with red hair who looked like she could be his mom. She styled her hair like it at least and another pretty girl with purple hair and a warm smile. Then there were others. A picture with an archery team of a girl with a Cheshire's grin giving a peace sign hugging him close and another with some four eyes who seemed uncomfortable taking the picture. It had made her sour, seeing these people, seeing her brother had friends. She'd thought she'd need to push the purple hair and the Cheshire away so she could have her brother to herself and that maybe... she'd be okay with the four eyes. After all, she should be the only girl in her brother's life, so she'd need to push them away. She thought she would... except... they never came, or even called. No one. Not once. Ever. There were just pictures. That's all.

At first she was happy. It meant brother was hers alone. That she wouldn't have to share and he'd take care of her with what time remained but... every time he'd walk by those pictures and look at them... he'd stop and get sad. Sometimes a plate or glass would fall suddenly and he'd barely notice. He'd just clean it quietly without saying a word.

She knew what it meant. Knew it because this was her life too, for the past ten years leading up to the war. Just as she always looked up at the paintings of Kiritsugu and her late mother, Irisviel. People who loved her once but never came back. Never came back because they were dead. All the pretty people in the pictures brother had, they were all gone. That's why there were no calls or visits. Once upon a time, this would have made her happy. For it to be just her and her brother. Now... it just makes her sad. She and brother.. They are the same. Alone.

She sighs and walks over to him, working to keep her balance, not bothering to ask about the dark sword. She knows about it already, of the dark woman who was his servant that she'd seen twice. She didn't care for the woman but didn't say anything to brother about it. He cared for her and besides, she was just a memory now. They all were. She kisses him lightly on the cheek before sitting next to him, dangling her feet over the edge of the patio.

"Hi, little brother," she whispers quietly through a strained voice, looking towards the empty cloudless sky, kicking her feet lightly.

"Illya," he says in a worried voice. "You know you shouldn't be up. It's bad for your condition."

"I know. But I wanted to be with my brother for the end."

He stares at her quietly, his eyes widening before turning away.

"Oh," is the only thing he says, a quiet meek thing she barely hears. It is not a sound she wishes to hear, not in her final moments. So much weight and despair carried in that single word. So much sadness that she can not take away. She leans her head against his shoulder, sighing, her breathing coming out in slower breaths.

"I'm sorry I have to leave you, brother. Will you be alright... alone?"

"I... don't know..." he answers.

She knows why. How does one handle being alone all their lives with nothing to hope for? How does one exist alone? It is not a thing she would wish her kind brother to bear. But she has no choice. Her body simply won't hold on anymore. It really is a pitiful thing. She finally found family only to have to leave and he's alone now, not even the dark woman to keep him company. It's so... dreadfully sad.

* * *

After Illya died on the porch that day, repeating the act Kiritsugu did eleven years ago, a wound reopened that could no longer be shut. A pain that became unbearable as days became months that became years in solitude with none to call friend or family. Halls that echoed dully or chambers that echoed with a cacophony of sound, none of it was for him. He could no longer allow himself to become close to others, the risk of seeing them die weighing too heavily on his mind. So he pushed himself away from others, burying himself in a goal made that fateful day. He spent years in seeking, trying to understand magic and searching for the source, his hair becoming silver faster than it should as he continued to use his abilities when called upon it and training daily, reminding himself of his goal each time he summoned that blade, excalibur morgan. It drew great energy from him each time he summoned it but reinforced his desires each time. Though his motive, his desire, is no longer the heroic dream of once before. Of what worth is it when all you cherished and loved is dead? No, his goal has become to restore the dead to the life stolen from them so early, to change the past that is so damaged and save everyone.

That is why now he seeks the grail himself, to find how to call it, instead of finding that matter through a dusty tome finding a manuscript that instead mentions the source, a thing far more important. The beginning of the grail and magic itself, often called the "root" by others in magical circles. It became Shirou's obsession to find it, and reverse the acts which had gone terribly astray and left him in solitude with an eternal self loathing for his own weakness. Mages oft stood in his way but he'd cut each down, simply focusing on that power, seeming to drawing something ever closer with each battle. He could feel it... an entity that seemed to watch him as his strength and desire grew.

And after so much trial he has found that which can not be understood which rarely has ever been seen. A presence very much like a god.. if such a thing exist.. He stares at it, at that swirling mass of energy seeming like a bright star with no form or shape and yet Shirou can still feel a presence, something before him that is unreal. He holds a bleeding arm that drips steadily on the floor from an injury a mage gave him as he came here and fought the individual. He'd stare in wonder and awe if he hadn't seen so many mystical things before hand, if things weren't as they were now. Now.. All he sees is a means to an end.

"You know why I'm here," he tells the entity.

The energy trembles before him almost as if in laughter, a low hum echoing from its core.

"You seek that which is not. To undo what can not be undone."

"You can undo it," says Shirou fervently, eyes narrowed as he looks towards that energy. "You are the source of all this... this madness! Help me undo what has been done!"

The entity glows, pulsing, energies sparking.

"You are aware a price must be paid? Of what is asked? Nothing is given freely. Especially a wish such as yours..."

"Do it," he says quietly. "I'll pay anything to make things right."

The air is still, the presence seeming to waver for a moment before tendrils of energy slowly snake their way towards Shirou seeming to crawl over his skin, at once covering him with an intense heat and cold. He does not fight it, instead giving himself over. If this will take him to his goal, then so be it.

"Then so let it be," says the entity before him. "Your fool request will be granted if you can complete the task at hand..."

He feels the tendrils seek his flesh, driving themselves into his body, burrowing into his very being as he feels his body altered in ways he does not understand or know, the tendrils delving into his magic circuits and twisting them in unimaginable ways causing a horrid pain in his body. But as he stares at the entity before him, he can only think, after so many years being alone with no other to rely on, that Altria was right. The past needs to be changed and he'll be the one to do it. No more death. No more loss. Never again... If this is the pain he needs to pay for such a thing to be done then so let it be. He'll make sure the past is undone and the lives lost are saved... He'll make certain of it.


	27. Chapter 27 - the Fruition of Dreams

Loosing just one more arrow and the final being, the one who ran and would have set the time line on edge, leaving an imbalance, now falls flat on the floor. That loosed arrow having hit and gone through the back of his neck and through the brain stem, effectively killing the man.

Shirou lowers the bow, letting out a low sigh, his fingers tightening over the bow as he looks over the bodies of the dead. As counter guardian it is his duty to make certain all are cleared and removed from the situation. Removed from a position where they could otherwise end the lives of millions upon millions. The deaths of a few to save the lives of the many as the living embodiment of energy had explained, a presence in his mind to reassure him of his duties.

As the wind blows through his silver hair, ruffling his clothes, he thinks, it does not get any easier, having to put down the lives of men and women, as wicked as they may be. But he has worked, tirelessly so that he can see his dream to fruition and see her once more, that radiant being with golden eyes. Through his many journeys, Shirou has had but one objective that he realized was his own. If the many can not be saved then at least save the one. And the one he wishes to save... the one who is most important to him above the others... is her. The knight of old, a king of an age long gone. Altria Pendragon.

It is his duty to serve her as a knight and restore what has been lost through the ages. But how... how can he save her, he thinks? Direct interaction is all but unfeasible so the only method would be... to use his original self. But would this not be just a repeat of the steps that led to this path? To her death and the death of everything he knew? No.

Beneath that blackened armor is a being who harbors an incredible pain and he believes, through his younger self, he may be able to bring her back. Save her from making the mistake of yearning for the grail and prevent himself from ending her life. At least then... he'll have saved someone. Unlike now...

The bodies lie on the floor in their own blood, most not even having seen him. The counter guardian set to right what is wrong. He knows he's done good by ending the lives of the wicked here, so why then... does he feel so empty? It just feels... wrong.

"It is time," a voice whispers against his skull, echoing dully.

"Time?" he ask questioningly.

"The price is now paid. Your desire shall be granted and you will be returned from hence you began..."

"My desire...?" he whispers already feeling the tug of another call, another summons even as his body begins to fade from this time line and this point of origin. He stares as his hand begins to evaporate and fall away and sighs. He has been many years thinking, now... there is no more time for thought. Only action. Hands balled into fist, he thinks, now is the time when he must save Altria. Whatever comes, he will save her.

* * *

Failure. Inexorable failure. That is what everything has culminated to. Despite trying his damnedest to make certain that the mistakes of the past were not repeated, that is the only thing that has happened. That snapping of bone resounding in his ears, echoing in his ears. Tohsaka Rin's neck breaking as easily as any misguided dreams he had. All he thought he could do, all he thought he could try, crumbling around him. He has not changed the past, he has merely solidified its formation.

Even as he looks upon his younger self, so worried and fearful, his eyes shaking as he is set to embark on a path of utter turmoil, Shirou can only look at the young man and give him warning so he may prepare for what he must utterly do, even as doing so breaks Altria's heart. He can see it in her eyes and for a moment, wonders if it is his words that set her on a path so determined and stiff to set her sight on the grail or if it was there to begin with already? Even as he is to take a step forwards, to utter an apology, for the world of good it will do him, he gasp, heart stilling as he sees Caster materialize behind her, bringing out a twisted blade from under her robe.

"Sa-..." he begins when that young man, still hopeful of the future, pushes her out of the way, even as Caster's jagged knife plunges into his shoulder, making Shirou think unconsciously of the wound he still has there. It's a scar that still lies there, as present as the wounds in his heart.

Still, mouth set, he steps forward, intent on helping Saber with his younger self. Perhaps there is yet he can do, but he wonders then, why it is he disappeared back then when...

"Gaahh!" he cries out, a sharp pain sudden in his chest, something having ripped through his ribs. He stares with quivering hands down at the bladed hook that protrudes from his chest and thinks he really should have been more watchful of Rider. Even as Saber raises her head to look towards him, having heard his cry after she cut down Caster, he is suddenly pulled back, the chain at his back pulled painfully as his body is jerked backwards, slamming him into what would normally feel very soft and comforting, but is now mere warning of his impending death. This manifest itself as truth as thin but strong arms wrap around his throat and head, holding him tightly as he kneels, breathing becoming difficult as blood bubbles in his mouth and throat even as Rider continues to pull at the chain lodged in his chest.

But through it all, he sees Saber's worried expression, a woman whose heart he just broke and yet she trembles, unsure of wether to help him or help his younger self. She is divided, he can see, her concern for him always true. The stab in his heart reminds him even as energy fades, that the choice is but illusion, he is dead already, so he makes it for her.

"Saber!" he cries out. "Take Shirou and run! Forget about me!"

She stares at him, wide eyed, mouth agape, hand trembling before it stiffens and she turns away to pick his younger self up from the floor.

"That... was a mistake, Archer," he hears Rider hiss in his ear, the venom ever present in her voice. He lets his lips curve in a smile as he sees Saber lift his younger self in her arms, her body stiff, hesitating. He can only think, no, it wasn't a mistake. If it saves her, it's worth while.

There is a loud crack, a sudden sharpness that sends a painful shard down his back, rippling down his nerves with the vision of Saber suddenly going completely dark as his spinal chord is severed in one quick motion.

* * *

He floats in an empty void, simply drifting, the pain that came from his last encounter slowly fading to nothing more than memory. It is the pain of failure, of seeing things anew and still being powerless to do but naught about it that tears at his heart and soul. Even though he went back, even though he tried his hardest to change what happened, nothing changed. All time and history merely looped back on itself, repeating what he thought he was changing. He is a damnable fool, he thinks with a grimace. Time is unchangeable.

Even as he dwells on such thoughts, a bright light begins to push at his eye lids, burning in such a way that he must waken, eyes snapping open only for him to put a hand out before him to block the intrusion of light that has him blinking his eyes. An ever present bluish energy floats before him, humming quietly. The core from within the grail or a being without, he can not know it for certain only that it is before him anew.

"It was told to you, was it not, that time can not be changed? Now you see the folly of your wish," the entity says.

He lowers his arm and nods his head.

"Aye," he says, a single tear rolling down his cheek. "It was but a fool's dream. Still... I had to try."

"Was it worth your troubles?"

He stares with wide eyes, then looks back at the emptiness above him, resting hands on his lap. True, he failed, but at once, he got to rekindle his feelings for Saber, feel her touch and her warmth. A tear runs down his cheek anew, one of happiness instead of despair. For that alone it was worthwhile. To see her again.

"Aye. It was worth it, if just to see her one last time."

The entity is silent for a moment as if considering its words.

"There is one more summons for you. A call you can ignore or answer. It is your decision. Your labors towards me have been paid in full. What is your answer?"

He considers it. He is tired of this war, of always waking to battle and killing, but as he thinks back, each battle, each summons also brought with it new friends and allies and moments which brought him clarity and healing. A thing he'd near forgotten in his absolute quest to save Saber and the others. It is something at least that pushes back the emptiness. He sighs and nods. Very well, let him accept the summons and see what it brings.

"Then let us be about this business," he says. "I am at your service as always."

"This is not for my service," the entity says. "It is for hers. Her wish for fulfilling her own labors and task."

"What do you mean?" says Shirou. "What..."

But before he can put further the question he asked the white energy from the entity expands, that burning feeling running through Shirou's veins once more as his body is called elsewhere, taken anew to a new place and time. But he wonders... what it is the entity meant by "her" wish? Who would call him, of all people? Who..?

* * *

She runs fingers through his hair, looking upon him warmly, a single tear running down her cheek. It falls upon his cheek, making him twitch, his body stirring. She smiles softly, placing her hand on his head, staring down at this boy who had changed her so, who'd taken her pain and opened her up to hope and let her believe again. Not in the grail, not in a wish of the past, but in herself and her own beliefs. This man... Shirou Emiya, did that for her.

When she had seen her younger self, ready to remove Caliburn, Altria had raised her sword with full intentions of striking down her younger self. To erase her from time and save Camelot. Or so she'd thought, until she'd heard that young man's cries and seen her own sword driven through her body, felt it run through her flesh. It was then she'd remembered that sight when she was so young, of a shadowy blackened knight who raised her sword to kill her. A thing that had made Altria tremble when she was young but firmed her beliefs in what she was doing was right when the shadow had disappeared. Darkness had come to prevent her from serving her people and as such she had a duty to disperse all the shadows and be the light, be a source of hope for her peoples whatever may come. How had she forgotten that? How had she allowed her light to dwindle and disappear, fading with her memories? It wasn't until she was summoned, drawn by the young man before her, that her mind began to clear and pain fade as through him she saw hope. Still sees it as she runs fingers gently through his hair.

He stirs slowly, his eyes opening groggily then widening as they regard her countenance.

"Saber?" he whispers. "Is that really you?"

His hand rises, cupping her cheek. She holds it close, feeling the warmth, the callouses of his hand hard yet so gentle in touch.

"Yes, Shirou. It is I."

"Altria..." he says, slowly pulling his hand away, turning his back to her as his body quivers. "I-I'm sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't save you."

"Shirou..." she says, pulling him back towards her so he can face her. "You did save me."

"What?" he says, brows furrowed in confusion. "But... how?"

"That moment when I was to touch the grail and have my wish granted, I was about to do a horrible thing that would have been irredeemable. You pulled me back and wakened me to my mistake. You saved me from what would have been my greatest blunder. You saved me... from myself. I was about to cut down my own younger self when your voice broke through my mind. I realized then what I was about to do and stopped."

"But..." he says, tears streaming down his eyes. "I killed you."

"You did what had to be done," she says, leaning towards him. "I forgave you your actions as they were committed. So I must ask, can you forgive yourself?"

He stares at her for a moment, his eyes trembling as lips are parted. He opens them as if to speak and shuts them once more before nodding.

"I'll try," he says.

She feels a smile curve the corner of her lips and nods.

"Then that is all I can ask of you, my brave knight."

And with these words she leans forward, pulling him close as her arms wrap about his shoulders and her mouth presses to his, lips against his own, giving him a kiss. Not for power, energy or sex, but a kiss of affection and love, for now, that is all that remains and nothing else is necessary.

* * *

author's note: and this concludes Fate Route Alter. I thank you all for your critiques and reviews and suggestions. It's been a fun ride and it's nice to finally give Shirou and Alter a proper happy ending. I hope you have all enjoyed and cheers! I'll see you next time with my next story.


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